It seems like everyone has stories about just awful gamers and it can seem like a big portion of roleplayers are jerks. Maybe you are excited to play and you've gone looking for a group, but just keep running into awful people. So what's going on? Does roleplaying attract a larger number of bad actors than other activities? I don't think anyone has done an in-depth study on this, but I would guess that the percentage of jerks in gaming is not any different than any other activity. But I do think that the nature of roleplaying games means that people are exposed to bad players more often than their numbers represent and especially when you're moving to a new area or just starting out you're very likely to encounter the worst players your area has to offer. But why?

Imagine a cup filled with pens. Most of them write fine, but there are a few that don't write. Maybe 5%? They're out of ink or for whatever reason they are broken. As people get pens from the cup, they test the pen, if it's good they leave with it and if it's bad they put it back in the cup and grab a different pen. This continues, steadily increasing the percentage of available pens that are busted. Over time, almost the entire cup is filled with bad pens and you have to look like crazy to get a good one. It's not that there aren't good pens, they're just not in the cup any more.

The same thing happens with gamers. Bad players are always looking for groups because people kick them to the curb and bad GMs are always looking for players because people leave their games. On the other hand, good players find groups and stay there for a while and good GMs tend to be at the capacity for players and aren't recruiting. So while the majority of roleplayers in any area are great, they may not be the ones you're likely to encounter.

I started thinking about this because I was in my local game shop recently and saw an ad for a GM I tried when I first moved into town. He is still recruiting and has been every time I've gone into the store. This guy was the worst GM I've ever played with and an awful person in general. After I left this guy's game (three sessions in and staying that long was a mistake), I decided to start my own game and put up ads. I got about a response every ~2 months and I was very specific in my ad to avoid people that would not be a good fit. Assuming this GM had the same response rate as I did, 30 people have tried playing with him since I quit. I've interacted with less than half that in my town and most of them were met through other gamers. I have not recruited players with ads for years and neither have the three other good GMs I know now. This means that people are much more likely to interact with this jerk than the numerous good groups of awesome gamers I know scattered around the city.

So what do you do about it?

The short answer is I don't know. If someone has a sure fire way to avoid jerks, I would love to hear it.

Having to deal with these people is very discouraging, especially if you are starting out and I think these broken pens are actively driving people out of the hobby because they are frequently the first people new players encounter.

I have mentioned previously, that if you can start playing with people you already know that it can greatly reduce the risk of bad experiences, but that's not always an option. If you encounter jerks, especially if you're just starting out, please realize they are not the norm and if gaming is something you are excited about, do not let these jerks drive you out. You can do things to reduce the chances you end up having to deal with these gamers.

1. Do research- If you're using meet up or some other site where people put up ads and you see someone is advertising a game, you can probably find a history to see if they've previously advertised for games and at what frequency. More importantly, you may be able to find people that have responded to those postings and you can PM them to see if they did end up playing with the GM and what it was like. Some of this will depend on the site and the level of activity. If an ad is up in a store, you can ask someone that works in the store if they know how long an ad has been up. Most stores pay some attention to their bulletin boards and if someone has been posting the same ad for several years, that's a big red flag. Finally, if the store hosts gaming groups, even if they're not recruiting, then find a group that sounds not too bad and see if you can catch one or two of the players to talk to. There's a good chance some of them have had to deal with the same broken pens you want to avoid and that they know other gamers in the area and maybe even someone that might have an open spot that's not being advertised.

2. Screen the GM- Before you show up to a game, it is perfectly reasonable to do some screening and investigation. I've said previously that you should of of course ask questions, about the game, play styles, and how content is handled. It is also reasonable to ask how long the game has been going and how long the current player group has been together. A group that has been together for a while is usually a good sign, but someone forming a new group for a new game is not suspicious.

Also, pay attention about what a GM wants to know about you. A good GM is going to be concerned about whether you're going to be a good fit for a group and concerned about whether you are a jerk. They'll usually give information up front about the game and their style. Bad GMs frequently do not do any sort of questioning of new players, because they may not think about what other people want out of the game. Alternately, a bad GM might demand a commitment saying things like "I only want SERIOUS players" or they may be looking to see if you are the type of person that will not put up with their bad behavior, saying things like they do not want "people that cause drama" or "sensitive snow-flakes".

3. Ask for references- You do not need to go overboard and do a full background check or anything, but it is not unreasonable to ask if you can talk with one of the players in the game. It can be good to have another perspective on the game. Especially look for if the GM's description of the game matches with the players. Ask the player if there has been a lot of turn over or if there have been issues at the table.

You can't chuck them in the bin, but you can move on.

The place where this analogy breaks down is that with pens in a cup, the solution is obvious. Someone comes along and throws out the bad pens rather than returning them to the cup. Unfortunately, we can not do that with jerks and trying usually does not accomplish anything but make you frustrated and look bad. When you do encounter jerks, warn your friends and move on. You will find good gamers.