This column will primarily be aimed at new players, but hopefully will have something useful for experienced players as well. I will be covering some of the hurdles that keep people from joining this awesome hobby and share some of the things I wish I had known years ago. There's not going to be a strong focus on the mechanical (i.e. rules) side of play, but more on the social dynamics of the table. Before we get to talking about playing, there's the ever important task of

Finding a Group!

It doesn't matter if you have been playing for years or just heard about this roleplaying thing from a cool podcast and want to give it a try, you're going to have find a group of people to play with. This can be a major hurdle and even gamers with years of experience can struggle, but once you have a sturdy group, it can last you years or decades. Unless you happen to move every couple years and are starting over from scratch, which is how I ended up with so much experience finding people to play with. Below are the various methods I or people I have played with have used to find groups and some of the pros and cons of each. These can be divided into two main categories, gaming with people you know or gaming with strangers. I'm going to be talking about the preferred style of play a lot, this will be a topic I cover more in depth in a later column so don't worry about it if you don't know what your style of play is yet. This first column is going to look at one of the most reliable and least risky ways to find a group

Gaming with people you know

The advantage of gaming with people you know is that you already know them and presumably like spending time with them. You have something outside of the game that connects you and feel comfortable with these people being in your space. This can be a great way to find a group and to have an excuse to regularly see people you think are cool.

The only real disadvantage playing with people you know is the interaction between the group dynamic and the game. Problems outside the game can break up a game and problems in the game can translate to conflict outside the game. For example, I once had a really awesome game going and we were about five sessions in. Things were starting to pick-up momentum and then two of the players broke up. Neither wanted to force the other to quit the game, so they both just stopped showing up. The game fell apart entirely. When that happens, you just have to start over and find another group. I have never found this to be such a large risk that I don't enthusiastically enlist people I know into roleplaying whenever I can.

Have some friends invite you to their group (or ask if you can join)

I suspect this is how most people start off in roleplaying. It's the certainly how I did. A friend invited me to his friend's game and helped me make a character. If you can pull this off it's pretty awesome. An established group already has a schedule, knows the rules, has a place to play, probably has stuff you can borrow, etc. There's usually someone that can teach you if you're new and they're your friends so they'll probably be patient with you.

Of course the drawback is that you have to already know people that play RPGs, which is hardly guaranteed. There's also the risk that you may not enjoy the type of game your friends are playing and with an established group it can be hard to shift the dynamic.

Invite some friends to form a group with you

The difference from the first option is that you're doing the asking and there's no existing group. This is how I got my second group of players in high school, after the first imploded in three sessions. The advantage here is that again you know these people and presumably have a place that the group is comfortable meeting up at. If you're starting out they're either going to know nothing about RPGs, so they won't know if you make mistakes, or they know more than you about RPGs, and can help you get a handle on the game.

The drawbacks of forming a group with friends are much the same as joining a friend's group. There is an additional risk that they are going to expect you to run the game if you organize it. If you don't want to be the Game Master (GM), make sure you make it clear that someone else needs to do this. If possible, find an experienced GM to lead things for your group. This is how my spouse played their first game. They and some friends got together and wanted to try D&D and then they tracked down an experienced player and convinced him to to run it for them.

Acquaintances from Adjacent Hobbies

Maybe none of your friends seem like the type that would be into roleplaying or you don't know how to tell and are to shy to just ask everyone you know (hey, I've been there). There are several adjacent hobbies/interests that can be tell-tale signs to spot potential roleplayers. In no particular order, these adjacent hobbies are: board games, war gaming, computer roleplaying games, video games in general, anime, theater, comics, medieval reenacting, and fantasy/sci-fi. There's probably others that I forgot. Those interests not a guarantee, but it's a lot better than the general population. If you are involved in some activity centered around the above, start looking when trying to form a group. Realize that you might need to explain roleplaying games or sell them on it. Which brings us to

Approaching People about RPGs

Approaching someone to ask if they want to try RPGs with you can be tough. There's still a little bit of a stigma around it and people may not know what you're talking about or have weird expectations, but you have to be willing to put yourself out there; it's sort of like asking three to five friends on a date (but do NOT try to use RPGs to date someone). There's the fear of rejection or that they're going to stare at you like you're some sort of abomination. If they are your friends remember that they're probably pretty cool. If they're acquaintances from an adjacent hobby, you know they like something cool and you may be introducing them to something else they will love. You could change their life.

I have a co-worker who I now game with who I knew for six months before I found out he was in a weekly D&D game. We got there by talking about books and then moved onto board games. Eventually, I invited him over to play board games and our RPG books are sitting on a shelf in our dining room. That started us talking about RPGs, but neither one of us was going to just ask someone at work if they played D&D. What would they think? And I have worked in environments where people knowing I played D&D would definitely have been bad for me professionally. It's a real concern. To be clear, that just happened by accident, it wasn't a clever plan or anything and I would not recommend anything that circuitous in finding players, but if you need to you're welcome to use the leave the books out and see if they say anything trick if you like.

When you bring up RPGs to new players do NOT try to explain the rules when inviting them to a game. One of the guys from high school that I first played with tried this and it delayed me playing for several months. Talk about some awesome things that have happened in games you've played in (if you've played). If you haven't played yet, talk about other games you know they like and how RPGs let them do that sort of stuff, but better. Talk about media that the person likes and how they can do the same cool things those characters do. Maybe share some media that depicts roleplaying in a positive way. Critical role is a great example of this. You can also pick up some of the roleplaying based board games that are out there and invite them to play that with you and sneakily ease them into roleplaying games.