Imperfect GM

I'm going to break this question into two parts, while the two issues are often linked this is not always the case.

How can GMs break the habit of over-preparing?

Over-preparing is when you spend more time and energy than are necessary to prepare for a session. There are two reasons why GMs might over-prepare: enjoyment and anxiety. For a lot of GMs, myself included, there's a lot about game preparation that is enjoyable. It's creative and mentally engaging, I'd rather spend a few hours preparing for a game than watching TV. Yet if I'm being totally honest with myself, a lot of times my efforts to prepare are driven more by anxiety than enjoyment, and that is problematic.

GMs have a lot of anxiety that's driven by one sentiment: I don't want to mess up. You want everyone to have fun. You want everyone to experience the same thrill you feel about the RPG being played. You want to deliver a positive experience for everyone at the table, including yourself. There are so many uncertainties beyond a GM's control during a game. Player A may or may not show up. Player B is uneven, sometimes she's brilliant, sometimes she's not. Player C is whimsical and does the craziest stuff. Player D is solid but he needs Player A to be present to be truly engaged. So on and so forth. These uncertainties can lead GMs to over-prepare in an attempt to cover every eventuality and craft the 'perfect' adventure, invariably this leads to problems. It's not over-preparing that's the issue, it's over-committing, mentally locking yourself to a script either real or conceptualized that you've created often through excessive effort and worry.

Expectations are evil. This is one of my mantras as a GM. The moment you start imagining how your players should handle a session you are mentally laying the tracks that will lead to you rail-roading them down that path. This makes it difficult to "go with the flow" because you've laid these tracks in your mind. You will subconsciously and sometimes consciously misinterpret or manipulate your players to follow these tracks, because you believe they lead to the "perfect" adventure. Through your desire to ensure your players the best experience, you can end up giving them a negative experience.

How do you stop yourself from over-committing?

One option is to change your conception of GMing: embrace the idea of setting the stage rather than writing a script. The GM sets up the drama and internalizes the motivations/plans of the key NPCs so they can be role-played, and then let's things play out. This is a challenge, it took me a long time and a lot of sessions before I was able to just let things play out. If you can do this it allows you to drop a lot of elements of preparation that are no longer necessary and helps you "go with the flow". Players respond very positively to this approach, because they are given control of the story, which is all they really want.

Another option is to experiment and see how little preparation you need to run an adventure. Yes, this can well result in some disastrous sessions, yet that in itself is a valuable lesson. Once a GM totally crashes and realizes it's not the end of the world then it does lessen some of their anxiety. Accepting the possibility of failure and realizing the improvement not perfection is the proper goal for a GM is the path to being a happier, or at least more content, GM. I feel that a lot of novice GMs don't get to this point, they over-prepare and stress out about running games and muddle through a few sessions before giving up on GMing, because it's too much work and stress. Failure is rough, yet you learn a lot through it, including that it's not as bad to flub as a GM then you imagine it to be. Players are very forgiving, they all know that being a GM is not easy. If you can crash, admit that you crashed, and attempt to learn something from your mistakes then you are on the right path, and your players will come back for the next game.

A final option, and I am being serious here, is to write a novel. GMs are often storytellers who have stories screaming in their minds to be released, which is one reason they over-commit. Once I wrote a few novels it cured me of this. In a novel you can actually control what the characters do, which is ironically very liberating for a GM. Having done that you will better understand the difference between the two mediums and that in role-playing the story is the players to shape. If you really feel an urge to drive the story as a GM, then write a novel.

How can GMs learn to go with the flow?

If you have changed how you prepare then "going with the flow" is a lot easier, yet there are definite skills here that have to be learned.

First, remember that expectations are evil and that improvement not perfection is the goal. Learning to be an effective GM is a process and one that will never end. Talk to any GM who has been doing this awhile and they will all admit they still botch sessions from time to time and are still learning new techniques. My goal as a GM is not to deliver the most incredible sessions ever, because that's just setting yourself up for disappointment. My goal is be consistent and solid, which is in my opinion the gold standard for GMs.

Second, you need to spend more time listening and less time talking. This is really, really hard. Most GMs, myself included, love to hear themselves talk. You need to learn to be quiet. I have on numerous occasions scribbled at the top of my notes: SHUT UP! It's a reminder that I need to spend more time listening and less time talking. Listening keeps you in the moment by keeping your focus on the players, not whatever you have scripted to happen next.

Third, believe in your creativity. Many GMs fear that their creativity is limited. If they have come up with an entertaining villain they will often strive to protect that villain from defeat to keep them around. Creativity is a renewable resource, you get more of it by using it. If your PCs have executed a good plan to catch and defeat the villain, why deny them that? You can come up with a new villain. Yes, your first attempt might not be successful but eventually you will come up with a villain who will fill the hearts of your players with loathing. Clinging to your ideas is a sure what to contract your creativity.

Fourth, believe in your judgment. Perhaps the most consistent fear of GMs is that their players will do something unexpected that you won't be able to handle. This isn't a rational fear. Do this experiment, recruit two players to run through a scenario verbally. Set up a scene like a dragon is attacking the royal castle and the PCs are the Queen's guards. Ask them to come up with as many ideas, crazy or not, at how they would handle the situation. Then talk out how you would handle that as a GM. Keep doing this until they run out of ideas. I can guarantee that you will have some idea how to manage every idea they present.

Fifth, shift the burden of the plot on the players. Encourage them to talk among themselves, set up problems for them to solve and ask questions in response to their questions. So if a player asks "what type of security is common for the mansion of a cyber-eunuch?" then you ask that player or another one to answer that question. Players will come up with more stringent security than you probably would and through their discussion will lay out how you should run their infiltration. I've run adventures that heavily relied on this technique that were super popular, the players were thrilled at the challenge and intricacy of the adventure - that they effectively designed.

That's the first installment of Imperfect GM where I will attempt to answer various questions. If you have a different take on this question then please comment on the forums.