What is this?
This is a review of the Latter 13 of the 2004 submissions to the 24 Hour RPG challenge. The challenge has been run for the last two years, and has only just finished for this year, and I did a review of all the first years entries that came out on the 9th of August, and another one of the first twelve of this years entries, if you are curious about those.
2003 entries
2004 (1st 12)
All the games reviewed here are available for free download from www.24hourrpg.com so check them out if you are interested.
The challenge is simply to complete an entire RPG from nothing more than ideas and your own ability within a 24-hour period. So the work you are looking at here is likely to be short, sharp and interesting, with a varying degree of polish.
Who am I?
My name is Evan. I am a 34 year old, 20 odd years experienced gamer and game designer. I have not played any of the games I am reviewing here, but are reviewing them based on a read of the rules. I have written a game for the 2004 submissions of the 24 RPG challenge, so I have a vested interest in having people look at the site. I have gone ahead and attempted to be objective, and reviewed my own game in this lot. Read on for the juicy bits.
A few notes on my marking system: 1=Below Average, 2=Average, 3 =Good, 4= High, 5= Excellent
I have on occasion indulged myself and added a 0 and a 6. You can figure what those might mean.
Flavor/Concept: Outline of the game concept. The score is pretty subjective. I put my personal opinion of the ideas here.
Formatting: A bit more objective, this lists the style, structure and overall set up of the piece.
Appearance: Again subjective, but with a bit more back up, points are scored for art, maps, and neat tricks with fonts or colors.
Professionalism: Spelling, Grammar, Writing maturity, and tone of the work. I have a bad eye for detail, so scores will not vary much in this one unless the game does exceptionally well or exceptionally badly.
Completeness: How easy is the game to pick up and play from what is presented, how finished does the work feel. Note that "pick up and play" is subjective. Most RPGs are built with a setting in mind, and what I am judging here is how easy it is to pick up the info here and run the game as intended. For universal type games, there needs to be enough info to allow a GM to pick it up and use it with the info at hand only in any appropriate genre.
Mechanics: How appropriate the mechanics of the game are to the game style, how innovative and clever they are and how easy to use and understand. All mechanics are judged without play testing, just from a read through.
Totals: 5/30 F, 10/30 D, 15/30 C, 20/30 B, and 25/30 A.
Note that most of these categories are subjective, so take my grading with a pinch or hand full of salt. I have tried to divide the scoring so that roughly 1/3 of the score is polish, 1/3 is factually relevant and 1/3 is pure opinion. ;)
Karbon by Jason A. Petrasko
Flavor/Concept: Bladerunner meets Cyberpunk. (Wait, wasn't bladerunner already cyberpunk? No, it was noir. Whatever.) Some lack of game depth apart from the base premise, in spite of the significant world depth added. I like Bladerunner, and think this would make an excellent one shot or short game premise. Some
execution problems are evident here though (no pun intended.) The game points towards hunters hunting down Karbons as the main game action, with them increasing in doubt about their own humanity as they get more wired and closer to their targets. This is basically the same as Humanity out of cyberpunk, but with the more Bladerunner aspect. But there is no avenue to do more than hunt Karbons and move toward the one mental dilemma. OK, games have survived with less than that (dungeon crawl!), but with it focusing on the one mental conflict I would want to see more than just an increasing doubt statistic, I want something like the Cthlulhu sanity rules or something…I think there is a great game trying to claw its way out here, but the limited scope pulls it down. (2/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 24 pages (!), 441kb, no index, fairly logical outline structure, though. Definitely shaving a point for the lack of index, and want to shave another for the slightly incongruous section titles to the content of the chapters (Liberty? OK, I'll buy it. I see where you are going), but will only take off one, because really the problem is in the overview so the reader knows what they are getting into, and the index would sort this one. This is overall high quality work. (4/5)
Appearance: Very fine pseudo computer font and font shifts with blending of background shading (carbon paper, get it?) to give effects. Not as easy to read as one might like, but effective. Coloring of text to make points, neat. There is very excellent use of quite good simple art in the titles. I am taking a point off because the visual coherence suffers with too many font shifts, and it is a bit too busy for reading purposes, but this is definitely high quality work. (4/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar good, Writing style ok to read. The production value is very good here. No major issues, again fitting in with the High parameter. There are some uncomfortable dangling participles, a few changes in person from paragraph to paragraph, some of it intentional, some not. Still high for overall style and impact. (4/5)
Completeness: Setting, involved mechanics, weapons, experience, character sheet, enemies, some NPC information, hits all bases here. Excellent work. (5/5)
Mechanics: Classic dice + stats etc to get over difficulty threshold mechanic. There are some complex rules here for such a short game write-up, and my feeling is that the depth of them would require a full play-test to really identify if there are any game glitches. The mechanic is not innovative, but it is very solid and complete. I am tossing up between good and high here, but will go with the lower score, because I have given the excellent to completeness already and want to see more innovation in mechanics to give a High. (3/5)
Overall Mark: 22/30: B+
Above the Earth by Bryant Durrell
Flavor/Concept: Well slap my face and call me Shirley. Here we have an entirely new game mechanic idea. Basing the genre in superheroes generic (an appropriate outlet for this idea) this is a simple concept, simply executed, and entirely new. Bias for originality: (5/5)
Formatting: Landscape page style, 13 pages, 91kb (!), no index, a long play examples section, then players section then gms section, fairly logical outline structure. Simplicity is in this one's favor, but still several blank spaces. Easy to print, easy to read on screen (nice job, don't see both done successfully often: good!) and even gives print instructions (nice, bonus point there). (4/5)
Appearance: Nice title font, easily readable normal font choice, no art, no tables, no borders. (2/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar OK, Writing style friendly and easy to read. Good (3/5)
Completeness: Well, again simplicity of scope is on the side of the designer here. Generic system, pick up and play in a second. I tossed up whether to shave a point for not giving some options for the system idea (eg: optional experience allowing one to increase their total dice over time, or upgrade some of their dice to higher sided dice, or limiting the number of dice to different characters dependant upon character concept and powers, etc) but these ideas are extensions on the game idea, and would be nice to see in an extra supplement (nudge nudge… go on, Bryant, do more work on this idea) Having said that, the game deserves an excellent for sticking to its premise and delivering. (5/5)
Mechanics: You get 100 dice. Instant system. Ta-daah. Bryant, I hate you. But seriously, if you are interested in mechanics innovation, do not miss reading this one. (5/5)
Overall Mark: 24/30: A
Sin/Zen by Evangelos Hugo Paliatseas (me)
Flavor/Concept: mffr frrff whrrf. speak up. Fine. This is my entry. After the last two I feel somewhat inadequate. Oh well. Here we go. Sin/Zen is a generic 'entity of power' game, where the characters are beings that either exert their will upon the universe and risk becoming elemental forces or fade into inaction and purity. This is a weird one, which falls down in scope, but still has some new ideas. Good. (3/5)
Formatting: Landscape page style, 17 pages, 746kb, Title page, introduction, index, section on fundamental mechanic, then abilities, then character creation, and some short world examples. Leaves no blank bits. This is a fairly logical structure, still needs more overview. OK print, easy to read on screen. (4/5)
Appearance: No art, some tables a bit too dark, OK title page if a bit word-art, ok readable normal font choice, some coloring of text for effect, ok borders, ok titles of sections. Overall good. (3/5)
Professionalism: Spelling OK, Grammar OK, Writing style intermittent, gets bogged down occasionally with some of the mechanics descriptions. Good (3/5)
Completeness: The scope is a bit wide here, so it does not get to hit all the bases it aims for. A better matching of world idea to mechanic is possibly at the root of the problem (or even sticking to one world idea). The main world outlined should have more attributes relevant to it in the mechanic. Still this is a reasonable length, but needs much more work to make a proper playable game. (2/5)
Mechanics: Some innovation in the basic mechanic (fairly simple roll 2d12 and succeed if the lower number is under the target, determined from adding active ability and passive resistance) Nice counter-play between the Passions to determine target. All action handled with one dice roll. Interesting experience / motive shift system, but is a little buggy at the bottom end. Lacking focus to make a coherent game. Still Good. (3/5)
Overall Mark: 18/30: B-
Faces by Kirk Mitchell
Flavor/Concept: Characters are 'faces' which is to say persona fragments within the mind of one person, with one player taking the role of the Mask, which is the person's interaction with the real world. Very interesting, reminds me of Herman's Head. A bit more challenging to play than most of the other games presented. (4/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 11 pages, 119kb, no index, is basically all system description. This is a fairly logical structure, needs more overview, and desperately needs some of the system elements put in tables. Some ideas are out of order. OK to print. (2/5)
Appearance: No art, nice choice of title & body font, some big blank areas.(2/5)
Professionalism: Spelling OK, Grammar OK, Writing style good, but needs to catch its breath as it tumbles through lots of ideas quickly. Still Good (3/5)
Completeness: There is enough to play with here, but as the writer notes, there is a lot of work needed to really hit the nail on the head, because the ideas are so fundamentally different than a normal tabletop, making sure they all come across correctly is hard work. Still it has character sheets, and does touch most bases. I would very much have liked to have available a play example with this one. (2/5)
Mechanics: A fairly standard attribute rated decision resolution mechanic managed with a fair amount of crunchiness. Some interesting action choices make the game a bit like a card or board game with actions and blocking actions. Interesting. I think this matches the concept OK, but more work needed. (3/5)
Overall Mark: 16/30: C
Monster Trainer by JL
Flavor/Concept: You capture and train monsters. Then fight each other for more monsters and experience. Good idea as a one off: no guesses as to what this is based on. (3/5)
Formatting: Text file. Not a terrible structure to the document, though, all the items are well thought out and in appropriate order. Still is a text file. (1/5)
Appearance: It is a text file. (0/5)
Professionalism: Spelling so-so, Grammar so-so, Writing style so-so. There is evidence of some fundamental problems in writing style here. Editor needed. (1/5)
Completeness: This covers all the bases, there are no system gaps, and it accurately portrays what you would expect from the base idea. Obviously the text file format prevents character sheets or tables that would serve this idea well. Still giving it good. (3/5)
Mechanics: Not original, but simple and appropriate use of dice and playing cards (as a map! And other things) with no obvious systemic holes. For effort I am giving good. (3/5)
Overall Mark: 11/30: D
Rob Robot and his Robotic Buds by Philip Reed
Flavor/Concept: Characters are robots from a mythical comic strip, in conflict to save the universe. This has a cross board-game kind of feel to it and is an unfinished entry with lots of empty gaps. There are some interesting ideas germinating here, which are not developed. I was still favorably impressed with where this was going. (3/5)
Formatting: Square page style, 22 pages, 85kb, no index, lots of gaps that were to include cartoons and the like. The structure looks to have been logical, with nice format notes as it goes. (2/5)
Appearance: No art as it stands, nice choice of title & body font and bordering. Nice character sheet ideas. Still too gap prone to give more than a below average. (1/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar OK, Writing style good. (3/5)
Completeness: Needs bucket more work. But still has some elements of value. (1/5)
Mechanics: Not really enough information here to assess where it was all going, but some interesting ideas in the mechanics sections. I will still give this an average for mechanics concept. (2/5)
Overall Mark: 10/30: D
The Last Days of Atlantis by John Frazer
Flavor/Concept: Characters are the populous of Atlantis in its last days. Though they may no know it, they are fated to die. How you choose to interact with history is the point of the game. I think this is a great idea. My issues with this concept come in with task resolution system, but I still think this high quality. (4/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 16 pages, 169kb, No title page, index, logical outline structure. Fills the space very well. Easy to print, except for the one colour coded map, but this is also number coded, so works fine. Action resolution cards at back. Not so great on the screen, but very fine for a printout. (4/5)
Appearance: Lots of text, one map, action cards at the back. Competent. (2/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar good, Writing style ok to read, and quite personally directed. I find little to fault here. (4/5)
Completeness: This piece is big on setting, with enough to run easily. The resolution mechanics are very simple, there is no experience, or character sheets needed. There is appropriate completeness for the concept. I have
taken some points off for mechanics below that would be covered in house rules, and won't take them off here. (4/5)
Mechanics: A very simple resolution system that is based on the playing of cards to resolve conflicts about actions or impede or improve actions. No character stats. OK, this is fine, but there are a couple problems with some of the card definitions. (E.g. does a fortune card beat only any one other card, or all of any other cards that are played? If three power cards are matched against a fortune card and a power card, who wins? If a Failure is played to oppose a Power, can you play anther Power to elicit the desired effect, etc) In such a simple system, I would expect to see a proper logic diagram or description on all the options for card play. Still, very easy and not bad for appropriateness. (2/5)
Overall Mark: 20/30: B
Grand Guignol by Stefan Livingstone Shirley
Flavor/Concept: You are in Dragontown, a cul-de-sac on the road to Hell. You are dead, and here is a place you pause before going further down, and for some very few, there is the chance to go back along the road to another place. This game is based on the music of Alice Cooper. Solid idea, very similar to a bunch of rpgs that have been run at conventions Down Under. I like it a lot. (4/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 11 pages, 127kb, cover page, index, logical outline structure. Some formatting issues with the columns and tabs. Easy to print. (3/5)
Appearance: Lots of text, some nice font choice. Spaces left for art, where no art resides. I'll give a generous average. (2/5)
Professionalism: Spelling fine, Grammar fine, Writing style good, but changes from narrator to having an NPC in the game describing things to narrator again without enough warning or proper framing of the changes. Nice to read, and flavorful, though. A bit harsh, perhaps, but: Average. (2/5)
Completeness: Nice setting, good mechanic information, enough to run. However, some ideas of what happens in Dragontown (i.e. adventure seeds) would be really useful, as well as a play example or two. Also the NPC list should have reference to the song it is drawn from or have more description as to their aims or drives or persona. There is a section on contested actions that is needed. Also I have some system quibbles, but will address them below. (2/5)
Mechanics: Well, another Seven Deadly Sins game! OK, the base mechanic is simple 2d6 under sin to see if effect works... experience is based on accumulating sin or virtue by failing in actions. Cute idea, but the execution is a little problematic. Characters start with no virtues, and can only accumulate virtues by failing at vices. For newly dead souls I would expect there to be some redeeming features. Then when they get a virtue, they have to roll aces on 2d6 to succeed in any action of that virtue, otherwise they increase the vice again.
Seems that the quickest way to hell is to do something good, and to keep trying to do good. There are some other issues here. For originality of concept, I will still give a generous average, but much work needed to fix this. (2/5)
Overall Mark: 15/30: C
Road Trip by Troy Fisher
Flavor/Concept: Characters are on a road trip. There is the game. I would like to have seen more "extreme weirdness" options (you know, alien abductees, need to get to Vegas or my wife will marry an Elvis look-a-like, or you are hunted by FBI or whatever). Having said that, good, simple idea with lot of work done to fill it out. However, my bias leans against any system that requires you to stop every game hour and add one to your NTTP (need to pee point), so I am deliberately and with much prejudice lowering a grade for this. This is my bias.
I don't like the Farrelly Bros movies. Average. (2/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 22 pages, 104kb, cover page, no index, OK structure. Some formatting issues with the columns, tables and tabs. Easy to print. (2/5)
Appearance: Nice cover page, no art, some problematic tables and inclusions, really should be justified text. (1/5)
Professionalism: Spelling fine, Grammar OK, Writing style OK… average to good, will err on positive side. (3/5)
Completeness: Is there such thing as too complete? Or is this just too much information? No character sheet, but Meh! Buckets and buckets of stuff, all kinds of normal road trip ideas. Great stuff here. (5/5)
Mechanics: Some crunchiness to the relatively simple mechanic, a bit of number pushing to make things go. Still very complete, if not innovative, mechanics. (2/5)
Overall Mark: 15/30: C
The Operation by Michael P. O'Sullivan
Flavor/Concept: Another incomplete entry, the Operation begins to be a game for special agents working for a pan national espionage entity. The world flavor begins with some intrigue, but does not deliver, and the system concepts are simple, but effective. Without more information on the world concept I am going to leave this at average. (2/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 20 pages, 1556kb (Huge! Why so big?), Nice title page but no index, fairly logical outline structure, though. Nice chapter titles, some problematic formatting of text and chapter titles. Were this to have been completed it would have scored much higher here. OK to print, so-so on screen. (2/5)
Appearance: Nice font choice, good title page and images on intro, nice simple text box gray out for special text, have taken off the points for formatting already, so I will give this a good. Should be justified text again, IMHO. (3/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar good, Writing style ok to read. Some of the system description is repetitive and requires overview, but this is good work. (3/5)
Completeness: Included are some setting and mechanics, and some interesting choices have been made as to what to include and what not. Unfortunately this falls far short of playability. Even for the amount of content I have to grade down here. (1/5)
Mechanics: Characteristics get assigned a dice type, rolls are contested and the higher wins. No unopposed action resolution method is given, because the focus is on the opposed relativistic action resolution. There is a good idea in the compared rolls that is screaming to be developed properly, so a point for originality, but too many holes to make this a good system offering. The whole Edge/humanity thing has been done before but is true to genre. (2/5)
Overall Mark: 13/30: C-
Young Gods of Old Egypt by Frank Sronce
Flavor/Concept: A supers game with a flavorful twist. Characters are people in the ancient land of Egypt who suddenly wake up with animal aspects and divine powers. This is a spectacular idea for a short game, executed with style. (5/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 25 pages (!), 241kb, No title page, no index, setting page, then character generation, system, and then lots of character generation notes, then a GMs section. Good to print, so-so on screen, nice tables and long lists. Average-to-Good, I will err in favor here… (3/5)
Appearance: Good font choice, no art, some tables, simple. Justify! Actually doesn't need it that much. (2/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar good, Writing style good. This is high quality work. Some ideas are out of order in the system description, but I am not penalizing for that here. (4/5)
Completeness: NPCs, experience, example characters, world and plot hooks, chunky system, powers and character generation rules, no character sheets, but not highly warranted in this one, won't shave a point for the lack of them. Excellent. (5/5)
Mechanics: The mechanic is dice for successes against a target number, highest dice plus modifiers is the result. Contests count successes on each side and compare for result. Not new, but quite solid. A bit of stumbling in the character generation and system section to tell the ideas in an intelligible format, but I have penalized for that in format already. Even though this is a solid mechanic, my intuition is that it is a little slow to get used to… I am going to hover on an Average, as I have already given an excellent for the completeness factor. (2/5)
Overall Mark: 21/30: B
Haiku by Jared Sorensen
Flavor/Concept
deconstructing gaming
laughter rests in my chest
occasionally I smirk
(3/5)
Formatting:
twenty four pages
where are the megabytes?
tabla rasa
(3/5)
Appearance
letters in red
snow white around small black font
short sweet words
(3/5)
Professionalism:
comedy clothed in no suit
the clown carries no laptop
I am wearing no pants
(2/5)
Completeness:
does sci-fi exist?
you poke fun at white wolf while
cthulhu stirs
(1/5)
Mechanics
this game is empty
the room fills with sound
one hand clapping
(0/5)
Overall Mark: 12/30: D+
Roguelike by James D. Hargrove
Flavor/Concept: You are represented by an @ symbol in an ASCII game. You go into dungeons and kill things for their stuff. If you live and get the most points you win. I LMAO. (4/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 17 pages, 1360kb, 2 title pages, no index, setting (HA!), then character generation, system, and then lots of dungeon generation notes and a character sheet. Good to print, so-so on screen, nice tables (sorry, matrixes). (4/5)
Appearance: Good font choice, nice art (a little TOO nice, you are supposed to be playing an ASCII game! Where are the ASCII pictures, hmm?), nice tables, nice cryptic runes (Dude). I am, with prejudice, lowering this to good because of no ASCII art. (3/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar OK, writing style amusing, should up the joke quotient by a factor of 50% in my opinion, but anyone who can slip in a necrophobic backhanded slap to their readers and keep going without taking a breath should be applauded. This is amusing stuff. Some ideas are out of order in the system description and tables. Still Good (3/5)
Completeness: Some shortness of time limits the final result, but this is pretty comprehensive. I am shaving a point for quibbles. (4/5)
Mechanics: The mechanic is random. The game is random and unfair. There are some minor holes. It is patently unoriginal. It is also darn funny, and I reckon I will play a game solo for a giggle just because I can. If I were to offer any advice, I would say make the spell selection random (because everyone will just choose the bigger spells) and make some bonuses in the scoring for different classes / races (say, healing someone gives a plus to cleric, or anything to encourage some element of teamwork, because it is more fun when someone CHOOSES to not help you.) Can't give more than Good here, bonus for matching mechanic to concept, minus for originality and quibbles. (2/5)
Overall Mark: 20/30: B
There is a poll for this lot as well in the forums.
Please vote to let the designers know if you think their ideas deserve the recognition, and let them know if you want to see the game expanded into a full release. I am sure they will be appreciative of the feedback.
Well, that is it. Nice to end with a couple of fun entries. I will happily review any follow up games that are done if people send me the links or email me the games (check out the Plot Device page for my current email address).
I will review almost anything for copy if you want to email me stuff. I live Down Under, so I don't imagine I would get people willing to pay postage to send books for me to review, but sure, knock yourself out if you want. I review non 24 hour games very differently.
Thanks all. Hope you found this interesting!
Warm regards,
Evan
Review Summary