Review of Red Planet

Salvaging Red Planet
By Charlie Kondek

Well, what else is new? Another Hollywood attempt at a science fiction film tastes flat. Like day-old ginger-ale flat. "Red Planet" is not a good movie by anyone's standards.

Sci fi purists will be embarrassed by the plot holes and half-baked, "Star Trek"-style techno babble. Less high-minded viewers would be willing to forgive these if the action is compelling and the characters are likeable. Which they almost are. Scriptwriters Chuck Pfarrer ("Virus") and Jonathan Lemkin ("The Devil's Advocate") have delivered up some pretty crappy dialogue in a desperate attempt to persuade viewers to care about static characters, and under the helm of first-time director Antony Hoffman, the results are... less than spectacular. In fact, the film is so bad in some spots it makes one cringe. Like a fart-at-dinner-type cringe.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves. What's the plot? Carrie-Ann Moss ("The Matrix") commands Mars-1, the vehicle sent by a poisoned Earth to discover what happened to some unmanned probes that planted algae on Mars' surface to produce breathable oxygen there. A "solar flare" forces Moss to prematurely drop the rest of the crew to the surface of the red planet while she remains behind to "manually" guide their release.

The reluctant ground crew includes a hotshot pilot (Benjamin Bratt), the techie (Val Kilmer), two scientists (Tom Sizemore and Simon Baker), and Terence Stamp's philosopher character, whose purpose seems to be nothing more than to draw the other characters into vague discussions contrasting spirituality and materialism. Once on the planet's surface, they have to get to the equipment that's been placed here for them, figure out the mystery of the disappearing algae, and get back to the damaged ship so they can limp home.

But there's a further twist. Not only is there mistrust and animosity between the crew members, their crash landing has "flipped" their AMEE unit, which is now in "war games mode" and is trying to kill them. The robot's kind of cool, even if it has a weak acronym for a name ("Autonomous Mapping Exploration and Evasion") and, for some unforeseeable reason, fights hand to hand instead of through missile weapons.

And this rounds out my major problems with the tale, which can be summed up thus:

1. If Earth can plant re-engineered algae on Mars to produce an atmosphere there, why can't they terraform their own planet?

2. If the ship is built to withstand a journey through deep space, how is it so easily "knocked offline" by a solar flare?

3. Why does the ground crew have an AMEE unit capable of playing war games? What are they expecting, Barsoomian warlords?

Add to that the fact that some of the tensions between crew members are contrived, and you have a not altogether unpleasant waste of 8 dollars (there's some moments of enjoyable chemistry between Kilmer and Sizemore, and the cinematography is really quite lovely). But like the probes littering the planet, there are things to be salvaged from the film, things of particular relevance to gamers.

For one thing, it's a "party" story; the plot involves a group. Granted, the group is designed to eat itself, but the dynamics should get game-master wheels turning, and inspire some role-playing challenges or ideas for interesting one-shots. (Example: a sci fi game in which everyone is stranded on a planet and has reason to screw each other in an attempt to get off.) I also liked the way one of the characters was stuck on the ship facing difficult, independent - but relevant to the ground crew - problems. How would this play out in an RPG, I wonder?

In addition, the film makes great use of natural disasters and other barriers to provide conflict for its characters. There's no Darth Vader or Ming the Merciless here causing havoc for the party; not even a mindless alien horde. The series of events that cripple the ship and force everyone through the plot, while far-fetched, should provide GMs with plenty of ideas for adventures built around non-combat-oriented challenges.

The "mystery" of what happened to the planet's ecology provides great ideas for similar games in which the heroes must act as scientists, not warriors. That kind of plot device - "figuring out the planet" - has worked countless times in great sci fi novels, from Larry Niven's "Ringworld" to Phillip Jose Farmer's "River World," and it will work in your game, too. Also, one of the things I liked about the film was the fact that Mars was littered with old probes from which technological assistance could be salvaged by Kilmer's character. That kind of action would be welcome by my techie-type players, who often spend the adventure sitting in the background waiting to jury-rig, repair or reverse-engineer something.

Last but not least, if you've ever had to find models for role playing robots in your campaign, AMEE's a pretty good one; mindless, focused, autonomous, and deadly. Reminds me of another great robot-gone-bad sci fi film, "Hardware" (which many feel is a great example of a cyberpunk movie). If "Red Planet" were an RPG, it would be one in which the GM licked his lips and suggested, "Well, I've seen you trash my NPCs while armed to the teeth; let's see how you fare with only your wits against this monster." Again, a great use of tension.

My advice? See it at a matinee to take full advantage of its looks on the big screen, something it will lose on your television if you wait to rent it. Take a notebook with you, gank its plot entirely, and tweak it into a great adventure for your gaming circle, one built on "natural" challenges and ecological mysteries. And, hey, if the Stormtroopers show up when your characters are trying to fix the ship, well... (Grin.)

--Charlie Kondek is a freelance writer and long time gamer from the Detroit area. He's the movie reviewer for online men's magazine The Guy Code (www.theguycode.com) and his work has also appeared in BadAzz Mofo (www.badazzmofo.com).