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Review of Knights of the Dinner Table / FAANS Crossover Special
I was interested. The previous KoDT ran a 2" x 4 1/2" bulletin which said only, "The KODT characters will be appearing in a special cross-over story in the new comic book, FAANS from Six Handed Press". I made a mental note of it (never have found a use for those "Talkboys" anyway), but I can't say that I wasn't wary. Why hadn't they made a bigger deal of it? Are the quotes on "Weird Pete's Bulletin Board" that important? Perhaps, I thought, KenzerCo didn't believe in it themselves. Perhaps, I thought, this was just to gain recognition. Perhaps, I almost knew, the writers for FAANS were already struggling in their forth issue.
All true.
Whenever I tell someone about this crossover, their first complete sentence is always, "What's Faans?" (that, or the more widely used "What's a Faans?"). I, for one (at this rate, the only one) had picked up a couple issues of FAANS before the crossover. The comic follows the adventures of a six-member science fiction fan club as they go up against plastic television idols and over-the-edge White Wolf players. I'd tell ya more, but I only have those two issues (two and three, respectively). It's a pretty artistic and well-themed series, but I do have my qualms about ever really following it. Let me tell you why.
1. The writers seem too frightened to spell famous proper nouns correctly. When you have to mentally re-project names like "Miller and Sully", "Jillian Andersen", "Jeni Mcrian", "Clingons", and the "Twilit Zone", you start to lose interest. You do get a warning before you get sued, y'know...
2. The character designs, physically. The Knights are appealing because first of all, you know Jolly Blackburn isn't vying for the art title of the century and second of all, it's based in real life without too many extremes. The FAANS are a different issue. Their leader, Rikk, looks exactly like Archie, and his sudden wheelchair-boundness (did he just decide he didn't want to walk or something?) reminds me why I stopped watching "Extreme Ghostbusters". Tim is your token fat computer-guy, a design which is similar to Brian except with added long hair, stringy stubble, zits and an ever-present hairy gut. Shanna is a big-nosed paranoid with Calista Flockheart proportions. Will looks like a huge jock but turns out to be the "sensitive" type (No, I didn't mean that...I think). Katherine acts a little like Sara would if she was morbidly obese and nearsighted. Now, Rumy, I have no problems with. She's pretty cute, in fact. Of course, she couldn't possibly deserve more than three lines an issue; that would divert attention from Tim's gut. Bottom line, they generally aren't any fun to look at.
3. The character designs, personality-wise. Tim, like Kenan of "Kenan & Kel", has an "attitude" that his physical appearance can't back up. Katherine -- I don't think -- is aware of her appearance. Shanna, as said, is kind of an obnoxious paranoid. Will's either angry or sensitive. Rikk seems to hate his life outside of the alternate magic-user RPG one. Rumy's fine, or so I think. She never gets the chance to talk.
To its credit, FAANS is well-drawn with a fairly nice attention to detail. However, if your comic is largely character-driven and nobody likes the characters (or the ugliest ones get the center of attention), the formula is neatly destroyed. Sure, it's a Sci-Fi club, but c'mon -- they don't look or act that bad.
Now it's time to pay attention to the crossover in question. My doubts immediately faded when I read the subhead box stating, "Story approved by the KoDT development team". What a relief. Nothing bad can happen now. Never! With the "Team" behind it, I thought this issue would be the coolest ride since Six Flags' "Raging Bull" (which was pretty damn cool, by the way).
The story is entitled "Misalignments", opening with two voice bubbles and nothing else. "B.A...! You can't break up the Knights! You can't!". "Of course I can, Bob. I'm the GM."
The context seemed to suggest that it was Bob and B.A. But...B.A. taking charge and having it stick? That never happens. I never thought it would. Ah, well... crossovers have flukes, so here's to fluke number one.
I'll go ahead and summarize the story. I guess there might be a "spoiler" or two, if you were expecting any surprises. B.A. decides that he's had "it up to here" with Bob and Dave, so he kicks them out. For some reason, they all go to the airport, making several references to events you won't find in any KoDT-related material. While Brian is deliberating over salvaging the group or salvaging Hackmaster, we see the FAANS' plane come in. They're back from the latest quest, and they're the only ones on the plane for some reason. While the flight taxis for minutes on end (a phase we all love), Tim hypes up some sex RPG called "Sexx[sic.]hack". This forces Will to get violent, Katherine to tune out, Shanna to whine and Rikk to get hopped up on some pain killers. This is the Alternative Music of Sci-Fi clubs, that's for sure.
Cut to special agent "Miller" (i.e. Mulder). He keeps an eye on the Knights and FAANS the whole time, making a lot more of information exchange than what it really is. While Bob goes into withdrawal and Rikk's wheelchair overturns, Will meets Sarah. They reminisce about Zayre, etc. Then we see the Hard Eight plane land. I could continue on my diatribe about how over-represented that company is, but that's for another review. Gary and Norman discuss the safety (or lack thereof) at conventions. During a flashback, we experience some of the worst Knights of the Dinner Table blasphemy ever put to print.
You see the Antignano brothers.
Fluke number two. Yes, I swear upon my glow-in-the-dark thirty sider. You actually see the Antignano brothers. Not meant to be, I tells ya. That, and I'm sure they weren't intended to look like parking garage attendants with mohair suits. I'm sure of it.
Recovering from that, Shanna sees Miller and accuses him of a conspiracy. Gary Jackson gets in the middle of it and she gets hauled away while Edmund observes Katherine, B.A., Bob, Dave and Will under Gary's orders.
Finally, the story reaches the aspect we all bought the issue for: gaming. Dave, Bob, Tim and Rumy play Sexxhack under Katherine (eww...). Speaking of which, we have fluke number three. Could anyone (especially Bob and Dave) actually be attracted to Katherine? No es bloody likely.
Somewhat worse is the table right next to theirs, where B.A. Game Masters Will, Sara, Rikk and Brian. Rikk and Brian get into a mortal character duel which ends in campaign wreckage. Simultaneously, Will and Sara keep flirting in-character (fluke four) but whatever they had comes grinding to a halt when they actually take action. Not a pretty picture, but it ends.
I guess I shouldn't ruin everything but the whole group is in jail by the end, sort of like what I hear happened in the final episode of Seinfeld, a show I've missed every single episode of.
Now that everyone in the world knows the story having read the issue or not, I suppose there are a few other points that should be covered. In crossovers between two series with vastly different formats, one has to be dominant. As you can probably tell by the storyline, the "sit-and-pivot" style of the Knights has been replaced with the action and perspective oriented FAANS style. But...we've never really seen any of the Knights head-to-toe, have we? Now we do. The FAANS are drawn in their thick-line, cartoon style while the Knights are drawn with their thinner, unshadowed "squiggly" line. The FAANS have the same amount of detail throughout the character, whereas the Knights are semi-detailed from the head to the arms, where they become crude outlines who all wear the exact same pants and shoes. Keep in mind, characters from separate series are drawn in the same frame. This isn't "artistic" or even "visually arresting" -- the styles clash so incredibly badly that the Knights don't even look right. I might not be an authority, but when is Brian shorter than Bob?
FAANS is a mediocre comic with a high concept and good art. Knights is a great comic with a high concept and mediocre art. When they come together, they're a mediocre comic with a mediocre concept and clashy, ugly art. I can't help but think what this would've been if the KoDT team had actually worked on it. Something better? Something more in character? Ah, well. I'll still read FAANS, just not nearly as often as I'll read KoDT. As for this comic, I'll put it in a plastic bag and wait for the camp value to appreciate.
Style: 1 (Unintelligible)
Substance: 2 (Sparse)
