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Review of The Colonies
Finally: a roleplaying game that allows players to make war on the evil French! In The Colonies, a complete roleplaying system and setting from Politically Incorrect Games, the Earth has been seized by alien invaders working in tandem with those rotten, cheese-eating Frenchies, and only the heroes can put a stop to their plans to push foie gras on a powerless human population. Armed with recipes for good old American barbeque pit beef and pork, and prepared to wash away resistance with kegs of Bud Lite, the liberation-minded PCs are the only thing standing between the innocent and their culinary oppressors.

Okay, so that's not really the plot of The Colonies, though the outlines are very similar. The Earth has been invaded by an oppressive and technologically superior race called the Virimar. The French have become the Virimar's willing pawns, and have assisted in the subjugation of the Earth's peoples. As colonists on Mars, the heroes have to make war to win their planetary home back. The going won't be easy.

Like most of PIG's releases, The Colonies is reminiscent of the old boxed games that came out during the heyday of roleplaying in the 1980s. In 67 pages, this PDF provides everything one needs to play, both in terms of rules and settings. This sort of thing isn't that common anymore. Better to release a half-dozen, 500-page hardbacks over a period of months, and supplement these with countless perfect-bound splatbooks. The Colonies has a little bit of everything in its pages, from biotech to photon-driven computers to rules on reverse-engineering Virimar (and other) technology.

All the earmarks of a Brett Bernstein design are present in The Colonies. The system is straightforward, but flexible, and bears a very close relationship to other dice-using systems he's written. The entire package is put together with maximum utility in mind, and even includes a sample campaign and adventure to get things rolling. There are games in release right now with ten times the number of pages, but with less than half the worth.

The Colonies' story is easy to grasp, as well: freedom-fighters must save Earth from alien oppressors. This is a nice, sharp hook that doesn't leave a reader wondering just what one is supposed to do with the game. The only real misstep is the vilification of the French. This seems to be a deliberate attempt to draw parallels between the government of Vichy France under German occupation during the Second World War, but it comes off as a somewhat bizarre piece of unintended comedy in what is otherwise a very straightforward game. One hopes that in later editions of the game (should there be any) that the French are replaced as the human face of Virimar wickedness by something different. A multinational organization, perhaps.

The Colonies is one of PIG's earlier releases, but it showcases all of the companies strong points: easy-to-use mechanics, an interesting premise, and maximum value for money. So round up the gang and strike a blow for human freedom! You have nothing to fear but the French.

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