But there is one game out there that hasn't had as much attention as it deserves, and I aim to rectify that. That game is Eldritch Ass Kicking (Revised), which is good beer & pretzels fun, but is also one of the funniest games out there. It takes the ridiculous fantasy trope of the power-mad wizard (some pre-modern librarian dude/dudette who spends all of their time hoarding and accumulating knowledge, and who then turns around and proves how learned and wise they are by unleashing spells of mass destruction, cackling megalomaniacally, building towers and artifacts of dubious necessity, summoning Forces from Beyond, and trying to conquer the world)and gives it the treatment it deserves. To the author's credit, they are also made interesting and impressive as well.
ART
I don't really care about art. I think most art is a waste of valuable space, and should be jettisoned. But this art (consisting of old, emanciated men with spectacles glaring ominously) manages the feat of making wizards look both slightly silly and slightly scary at the same time, capturing the dual mood perfectly. It may not be pretty, but neither is the subject matter, so it works fine!
GAMEPLAY
In sum, you are a wizard, and a pretty powerful one to boot. By day, you duel with other wizards to prove what a badass you are, or over some petty slight, or just because. At night, you kick back with these same wizards in a tavern, drink ale, gossip, plot, and possibly adventure. Much of your adventures revolve around finding out what a "bad" wizard is doing, plowing through his Constructs, beasts, and henchlings, and then taking care of the "boss wizard", only to find out that There's More Going On Than First Thought.
You live in the blasted world of Arnhelm, a land with big chunks of it floating in the air, covered with ruins, with lots of castles to loot and artifacts to steal and hideous traps and creatures to neutralize. (Fear not! I have it on good authority that this land is still ecologically, biologically, and culturally sound, solidly researched and checked for accuracy. I also have it on good authority that I own all the bridges there, and will happily sell you one or two for a nominal charge.) It used to be part of an actual world, but the wizards of Arnhelm went mad a while ago (there were rumors of demonic pacts coming due), blasting the landscape, building towers and mystic weapons, and making Arnhelm's non-wizard population miserable. So the non-wizards contracted some outside magical help, and sent the wizards (with a bunch of locals and a sizable chunk of real estate) into an astral realm they cannot leave.
You would think that they'd have learned their lesson, but NOOO! See, now the wizards are dueling for "The Shaping War," in which the last wizard standing will gain the ability to reshape the landscape in his or her own image, possibly breaking the spell and allowing him or her to go home.
You create a wizard with three attributes: speed (what it says), endurance (physical stuff), and concentration (mental stuff.) You them multiply these attributes by 3 to get (in order) movement rating (how fast you move), life points (what you think), and focus points (how well you deal with mental attacks and how many Constructs you control). Your skills are all related to your schools of magic (Earth, Water, Fire, and Air, plus any two schools you make up, like Life and Death, Lies and Truth, Space and Time, etc.) Then, you give yourself a Word of Power, a word your wizard can utter once a game to boost your magic school score during a crucial battle. Add some background, fill in some Motivations for your character. Note that your character flies (he'll need that), and you're ready to play!
Any and all Action rolls you make are done with two 10-sided dice, which range from 0-9. Make your roll, add your appropriate score, add/subtract and modifiers, and see how you did. If you roll two zeroes, you're in trouble. That's all you need to know to start out playing.
The rest of the game gives some special maneuvers, rules on Construct and artifact building, sample artifacts, and a random adventure generator. Plus, of course, rules for advancement. Here's where the game let me down a bit.
I mean, I understand gaining an attribute point for beating another wizard in combat. (Their Constructs and other minions earn you nothing for beating them.) I like the idea of gaining points for fulfilling your Motivations. But why not gain an extra point or two for Most Over-the-Top Vulgar Display of Power during a game? Or Best Megalomaniacal Ranting? Or Best Exchange of Verbal Abuse? Or simply a point for Best Roleplaying or Most Clever Tactics? Aren't those things part and parcel of what being a power-mad bibliophile wizard is all about? I know as a GM I have the power to give those experience points out; I'm just surprised the game didn't mention them.
And why are your schools frozen in character creation, with no way for your wizard to learn new schools during the course of play? (Page 6, "If a skill is left at zero, your wizard can never harness that magical power.") I hope I'm not reading that correctly.
Also, more options would be nice for turning EAK games from a bunch of loosely-related wizard-hunts to an ongoing campaign would be nice. I personally believe there's lots of depth, comedy and irony to be mined from this game if it can be shifted up from "Mortal-Kombat-with-special-effects-budget" mode. I had heard rumors that the Revised Edition was going to add an optional stat to the game, "Hubris" which would serve as a track for how far off the deep end your wizard was going. Artificial, perhaps, but it would have served as another way to help get into the character. (The game has a lot of support on the company's website.)
Still, it does what it's supposed to do well, and there's more there if your group wants it. Finally, a game that simulates the power and fury of mad wizards with the comedy of a Terry Prattchett novel! And the background is loose enough that if your GM wants to raid his copy of The Dying Earth RPG for some lab-created monstrosities to toss at the players, you could do so without contradicting some overarching metaplot.
So it's up to you: laugh-fest with scenery-devouring, straightforward wizard hunt with cool special effects and scenery devastation, or ironic combination of both, this game allows you to have it your way at a nice price. Who says only warriors and monks get to kick ass? And isn't it about time the wizards get their comeuppance in a game?
