For this game review installment, the Critical Kobold takes a look at a subject near and dear to his gunky little humanoid heart: Dungeons & Dragons Online: Stormreach . Released by Atari, this is a lively and fun MMORPG (pronounced "Arrrrgh-pthah!", it stands for "massively multiplayer online role playing game"). It's the PC game equivalent to a session of tabletop 3rd Edition D&D. (Or maybe 3.5 Ed. Frankly, I don't know the difference. You humans and your obsession with numbering things in an orderly fashion.)

WHAT YOU NEED

To get started, you'll need to first purchase the CD ROM package containing the user guide and installation disks, but they can currently be found a-plenty on eBay for less than a buck. (You cannot go wrong with that!) After you download the game material from the CDs, there's an ongoing monthly fee to Turbine, the company that keeps you connected to the fantasy game world via the Internet. Once you’ve set up your Turbine account (which takes three minutes), you can then log onto the game any time, day or night, and play 'til your hack-n- slashing heart's content.

Oh, you also need a broadband internet connection. Dial-up ain't gonna cut it, sorry.

I WANNA BE A SEXY HALFLING NINJA DRUID!... WITH PHLEBOTOMY!

Stormreach is the name of the city you'll be hanging out in, in the world of Eberron (the published third edition milieu used by Wizards of the Coast.) Just as in the paper and pencil game, the first thing you need to do is make up a Player Character, or PC. This is done according to 3rd Ed. Rules, so if you're familiar with D&D, this is pretty much second-nature to you. Suffice to say that character creation is virtually (no pun intended) the same here as in the paper version. If you're not a D&D-er, lemme run quickly through the most very basics, so you can follow along…

You choose your race (like human, elf, dwarf, halfling), choose your gender (not as many choices here, bub), and choose your class (fighter, wizard, thief, cleric, or one of their subclasses). You have the six attributes of Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Wisdom, Intelligence, and Charisma. Your scores all start at 9, but you have an allotment of points to add to these as you wish, to increase some to more notable scores in order to gain bonuses to all skills based on them. You may subtract a few points from the starting scores too, if you need to "redistribute" those points to another attribute, but this will automatically saddle you with penalties to the lowered attributes. You need to plan your score selection carefully, because they all have influences on everyday things in the game. High intelligence can activate runes in dungeons, strength determines running speed and damage dealt, dexterity affects armor class, bards need charisma to perform their musical charms, etc.

All PCs start with the same list of general skills, like Balance, Sneak, Barter, Search, Open Locks, etc. Depending on your class, you'll then get to choose some class abilities (such as rangers, who choose a "racial enemy" against which they fight better). Your starting scores in these skills are based on their relevant Attribute scores that you chose in the last step. You'll then have a bevy of bonus points to distribute amongst your skill scores, improving your scores in whatever talents you like most.

The coolest part is last, after you've set up your PC stats… you get to slap a face on your dude! You get to custom-design your appearance, from skin tone, to hair style and color, to eye color and shape, facial hair… for gawd's sake, you get to choose the shape of your nose! Add some cool scars or nostril jewelry, and then you're ready to rock the town! (Unfortunately, you don't get to design your clothing. More on this later.)

WARNING! Every time you create a PC, you'll be asked to pick a "world server", on which you'll play that PC. You cannot move from server to server with a particular PC, so make sure that if you're playing with friends, you all choose the same server in which to create your PCs! Otherwise, you'll each be stranded in different "worlds", and your PCs won't be able to interact in the game.

And you can indeed have as many PCs created and saved as you’d like. Some of my friends had at least six or eight characters, depending on what class or level they felt like playing that day. (But you can only, of course, use one at any time.)

GET ADVENTURIN'!

If it's your first foray into DDO’s Eberron, your newly created PC goes to a tutorial island. There, there are no monstrous beasties to pound on you yet, and you can find a number of teachers who will walk you through practice tests to acquaint you with how to control your PC, how to use your skills, and how to interact with the game itself as well as other players online. Spend as much time as you like dootering around here, getting the feel for how the game works, and even go on a gentle beginner’s adventure to earn your first XP and treasure. But eventually you'll need to board the boat goin' for the city of Stormreach, where the real action is. (If you’re an experienced player, you can choose to skip this tutorial section.)

Once you reach the city, your PC will be turned loose to visit taverns, talk to NPCs or other players, and look for quests to complete for experience and treasure. This is all done in real time, and the cityscape progresses from night to day with various weather patterns as you play, which is a nice touch. I suggest you spend a good bit of time speaking to as many NPCs as you can; some of them are merchants and tavern owners from whom you’ll buy or trade supplies, some citizens give you valuable rumors or information about the city, some are priests who will heal you, and some grant you quests which you need to complete to advance your PC in levels and reputation. (By the way, reputation isn’t a throw-away concern. As your “renown” score rises in the game, you’ll make prominent NPC friends who can supply you with very useful items or services. You’ll want to take advantage of these people. I mean, you know, in a good way…)

Also, enjoy the scenery! The city is well rendered graphically, and there are some amusing and interesting buildings and environments to admire as you just wander aimlessly. Tinker with the video’s graphics and sound controls, too. I find that the crypts and basements can be a bit too dark sometimes, so I lighten ‘em up with my tint controls. And sound effects and background music can sometimes become distracting unless you lower their volume in the Game play Options menu. (When my bard/thief is being jumped by three hostile ogre warriors in the jungles of Sorrowdusk, I’ve got enough problems at that moment without being so startled by the blaring “attack music” and ogre snarls that I forget to hit the ‘Shield Block’ button on my keyboard.)

At first, your neophyte PC will only be able to adventure in the Harbor area where you arrived. In order to access other areas of Stormreach, you need to get a few levels under your belt via completed quests. It’s not just a matter of collecting XP, though; you need to complete the right quests to earn the favor of important people in town in order to gain admittance to the Marketplace, and from there the rest of the city. You’ll probably be in the Harbor until you reach level three or so in your class. Until then, you wouldn’t survive the harder adventures that await in the Marketplace.

Another strategy you’ll need to employ is forming an adventuring party with other online players. While many of the beginner quests are “solo”, the advanced quests require you to have comrades-in- arms to successfully hope to complete. If you’re playing online with friends, great, but if not, you’ll have to visit the taverns and gathering places in the Harbor and meet other players looking to team up against the dangers of the sewers and other nasty places you’ll have to adventure. In fact, you can join a guild (or form your own!), which is just a bunch of online players who adventure together when they're logged on at the same time. If you're looking for an adventuring buddy, you can often just send an instant message to anyone else in your guild, and they'll be up for stirring up some trouble with you, even if you've never played with them before. Very friendly, eh?

For the record, I’ve always found that even joining a group of complete strangers for a dungeon or two is enjoyable. Everyone playing is there to have a good time, and there’ll always be someone out there looking for whatever character class you’re playing to round out their group. (Clerics and rogues are always sought out, because healing and trap detection are two *vital* concerns to adventurers in DDO: Stormreach.)

WHAT NEXT?

As in the paper game, as you increase in levels, you gain new or better skills, increase your stats, maybe pick up a new class if you want to broaden your career horizons, and of course accumulate sweeeeeet loot! You can then move on to harder and more grand adventures, becoming a real mover and shaker in the Eberron world as your reputation grows. Honestly, since the online game plays so very much like the tabletop game, I’m not going to dwell on everything there is to do. This review would grow way, way too long, and I have to check up on my svirfneblin servants soon. (If you don’t keep an eye on them, they get into your peanut butter...) But I’ll dive right into the high and low points now, then let you get on with playing DDO yourself.

THE GOOD

As a general comment on the entire game, the graphics are quite good. Colorful, smooth animation, and detailed enough that it's relatively easy to discern comrades, monster types, and objects littering dungeon corridors just by sight (even though some of these things are labeled by text as well). I've recently seen better animation in mmorpgs available this summer, but the images in DDO are nothing to sneeze at.

Besides, that would make your screen sticky. (Ba dum BUM! Thank you! Tip your servers!)

The developers are working constantly to improve, broaden, and update the game as well. Every month there’s a regular game overhaul of some sort. This may be the addition of new classes, new quests, or entire new sections of the city to explore. Mayhap an increase in the level limits of PCs, improved game or player-to-player interface controls, or revisions of older quests. Maybe patches to correct problems with prior game play. In any event, the designers keep giving you more and better game for the same subscription price each month, and that’s a rare and wonderful thing!

The game is so large now that my friends and I played for about two years, and I hadn’t even seen half of the adventures available when I finally quit. Of course, the more often you play, the more you’ll see and do, but the point is, holy crap! There’s a lot of stuff to keep you busy in this game!

And since it is a computer game, let me say that the user controls are very easy to learn, and very customizable. After your first hour at the keyboard, you'll simply forget about the controls, and you can concentrate on kicking monster ass. My friends and I all used microphones for voice chat, but you can text as well, if you don't mind taking the time to type. One of my friends, Jacque, constantly used a console control pad and joystick rather than the keyboard, too, so that option's viable.

THE NEUTRAL

While I just mentioned that there’s a lot to do, there is one caveat: each dungeon or quest has three levels of difficulty, from normal to hard to elite. It’s expected that you’ll run the quest on each level, as that’s how you gain the most experience points and treasure and fame. The problem for me, as a lazy kobold with a short attention span, is that I don’t always want to run through the same adventure more than once, if it’s a boring or long or tedious or notably deadly quest. Especially when I’ll be running through the exact same adventures all over again repeatedly if I create more PCs for the game. I mean, the wicked and sinister Troglodyte Shaman Chieftan of the Stinky Caverns is indeed fun to kill once. But after killing him, like, 14 times… jeez, man, the accomplishment loses something, ya know?

Also, there are some races and classes from the paper game not available online. Monks are just now, with the latest update, being offered, but it took two years to see them. Also, no gnomes or half elves, and nary a half orc to be seen. Heck, until a few months ago, there weren’t even any orcs as monsters!

Another note about races is that once you achieve a certain Renown score with any one of your PCs, you are eligible to create a drow elf character. These guys have more char gen attribute points and kewl powerz™ to play with, so a lot of veteran gamers use them once they earn the prestige to do so. Due to this, you’ll find you can’t swing a spetum in the game without hitting a drow running amok around you someplace. And 80% of them are named Drizst or Drizzzzzt or Drz’z’z’t or something similar. On a personal note, this kobold critic has never liked drow, so this grows wearisome quickly, but if you’re a fan of the race, hey, you’ll be in heaven.

You should note that you only receive XP for completing a quest in its entirety. This is annoying when you’re on a “long” or “very long” quest, and your party makes it to the last encounter, and then you get massacred by an insanely powerful Bad Guy. You may have spent two and a half hours playing the adventure, and get zippo XP for it. Not only do you get no XP, but when you die, you temporarily lose XP from the stash you already had! (That slowly comes back over time after you resurrect, but it can keep you from using some level abilities until it does.)

Something that was sometimes amusing, but also sometimes annoying, is that you can't personalize your gear like you could your PC's looks. When you get new armor or weapons, they come in a wide assortment of styles and appearances, and while a lot of them can be downright cool, some of them are pretty… ugh. My ranger bard for the longest time had to run around in magical body-fitting purple studded leather armor, with what appeared to be, I kid you not, leg warmers. My armor class was kick-ass, but I looked like Prince's cousin or something. (And I mean the 80's singing icon, not the local royalty.) Also, a lot of the hats, helms, and caps look ridiculous. Luckily, there's an option that lets you wear headgear without having the actual image of it on your PC's face.

Finally, the fact is that this is a hack and slash game at heart. While there are a few puzzles and intriguing traps and interesting NPCs to chat with, you’re not honestly going to get anywhere unless you’re ready to walk into any given quest and whack something. Even if the idea is to rescue a hostage or recover an artifact, in order to do this, you’re gonna have to get something foul splattered across the dungeon floor and leave a trail of bodies in your wake. (Hopefully not your comrades’ bodies, but hey, what happens in Stormreach stays in Stromreach…) In some of the larger dungeons, this can become somewhat repetitive, especially if, like my preferred “roguish bard” PCs, you’re not designed as a combat machine. Sure, there are strategies to avoid some combat (and yes, there is *one* quest I’m familiar with where the idea is to slay as few opponents as possible), but for the most part, you’re gonna fill up Delera’s Graveyard with hordes of hapless corpses on your way to glory and riches.

THE EVIL

The friggin’ stairs.

Seriously, if asked to immediately name the thing that induced the most spittle-flecked ranting and cursing from me during game play, it would be this: despite crafting a wondrous fantasy city, filled with floating towers and elaborate sewage systems, despite organizing the city into wards and quarters using elaborate architectural designs, despite being on the cutting edge of magical and divine research, despite having advanced metallurgical knowledge as well as flying boats… the inhabitants of Stormreach never mastered the technology of making goddam handrails for their stairs.

My fledgling PCs suffered more crippling damage from accidentally walking off the edge of a ramp or set of stairs in the harbor than from any monster in the area. It doesn’t help that PCs move in an ever-so-slightly diagonal trajectory as they run about, while the stairs and ramps lie along straight lines most of the time. And there are a lot of damn ramps and stairs in that harbor, trust me. Get to the Marketplace, and they add bridges to the list of things you can plummet off of while simply trying to walk to the armor vendor’s tent. Grrrrrr! (The best magic item I ever owned? Boots of Feather Fall. Get some.)

Lastly, loot level is very often less than thrilling. Picture this: my 11th level PC and his party spend hours of real-time play wading through the dreaded underground complex, defeating a horde of ravaging undead ghasts lead by their master vampire general and his army of soul-sucking wight minions, barely wiping out the last of the unholy savages. We've been beaten to within a hit point of our lives, had levels drained, gone through healing wands like water through a fish. After a Climactic Battle that uses the last of the party's magic, skills, and equipment, my wounded and battered adventuring team staggers up to the treasure chest to claim our prizes. I reach in and triumphantly withdraw… a 1 dagger.

SON OF A BI#@H! Are you kidding me?!

Now, you'll get more than one item from a chest, and some coinage to boot, but the other items you get aren't gonna be much better. If I were first or second level, hey, magic dagger, great! But when I'm currently two-weapon fighting with a 5 Long Sword of Backstabbing and a 4 Shocking Rapier, I'm finding it hard to work up the enthusiasm for your little 1 magic knife, there, Mr. Game Designer.

So where *does* the good stuff come from? After completing each quest, you report back to the NPC that talked you into going, and they'll give you a better quality magic gifty that you can usually find some use for. But honestly, I always got most of my high-powered weaponry and gizmos (magic lock picks, goggles of trap finding, etc) from the Auction House. That's right; I was most often reduced to bidding on cool items that other players found and put up for sale, or else spending metric buttloads of money to buy magic weapons and armor from 'used goods' merchants. (On the plus side, you can always sell your own stuff you don’t want at the Auction, or to said merchants, so at least you can make some cash for your useless trinkets.)

WRAP UP

While no video game will replace my love of tabletop rpgs, the fact that I played this MMORPG for so long speaks well of it indeed. For those of you lacking a steady flesh and blood gaming group, Stormreach can be the fix you need to explore murky caverns and spooky tombs! Heck, Turbine is usually offering a free 7 or 10 day trial period, so it won't hurt for you to give that a try before you commit. (It'll take forever to download the game from the website for your trial, but again, trust me when I say it's worth it.)

So get movin', O Brave Adventurer! What fame and fortune await you in the magical lands of Eberron? There are dungeons to explore and dangers to face! Go, meet your destiny!

(Hey, wanna buy a magic dagger?)