“Sky Pirates Raid the Stars- And Captain Kirk is charged with Treason!”

Personal Log

“Spock! It’s good to see your pointed ears again” --Kirk (pg. 159)

I remember watching Star Trek since I was very little. To a young mind, Kirk and Spock’s adventures, seemed so real and so deadly serious. I was terrified during that cheese and meatball monster episode for gosh sakes. When I was in college, I made friends with a guy who had never seen the show as a kid. The first time we watched Star Trek together; it was a complete and total laugh fest for him. Eventually, he came to greatly enjoy the Sci-Fi concepts of the show despite its weaknesses. I felt good about converting him, but I was secretly jealous in one way. What had it been like to experience Star Trek for the first time as a comedy? I wanted to laugh like he did with my favorite Sci-Fi characters. Now with the Star Trek the Key Collections, I can!

“I don’t think Tom Paine or Winston Churchill could have said it any better!” --Kirk (pg. 102)

Product History

“Shall we say… that you made it very easy for me to pretend I loved you?” --Spock (pg. 57)

Do you really need me to explain Star Trek? If you do, then perform a web search. You’ll get a bazillion hits. This Star Trek comic series ran from 1967 to 1979 and was published by Gold Key (Whitman). The series is highly sought after by collectors for its photographic and painted covers. The series only concerns the original show as Gold Key lost the lucrative rights to publish Star Trek comics just before Star Trek: the Motion Picture came out. Additionally, no attempt was made to fit these stories into Star Trek chronology. Some disregard these comics for the creators’ lack of familiarity with the show, but that’s all part of the fun. Checker Book Publishing Group began reprinting the comic books in 2004. As of May 2006, five collections have been available with more sure to come. Check out Curt Danhauser’s website at http://curtdanhauser.com/Main.html it will answer all questions on this Star Trek comic series.

“Scotty! Bones! That thing these people worship is a statue of Mr. Spock!” --Kirk (pg. 7)

Layout

“Break it up! Get back to your assigned positions! And the next one who pops off will be wiping pipes for a month in the nuclear furnace room! I kid you not!” --Kirk (pg, 31)

Star Trek the Key Collection: Volume 3 collects issues 18-25 of the Gold Key comic book series, published from 1972-1974, into a 218 page trade paperback. It’s a slick presentation with a bright photo collage of the Enterprise, Kirk and Spock on the cover. The book has glossy pages with excellently reproduced art. You can say what you want about the content, but this product isn’t low-rez garbage like some companies put out; check out Marvel’s new printing of Secret Wars to see how really bad it can get (BARF!) The reproduction is so good it replicates color-printing errors from the original comics. This provides the book with a retro, kitsch feeling that tricks your eyes into thinking you’ve got the real McCoy (‘giggle’). Unfortunately, the original comic covers are reduced in size. The art is by the Italian, Alberto Giolitti, of Turok fame (not Kirok fame ‘chuckle’). This collection doesn’t state who wrote these stories and neither do the comics themselves (how Bob Kane of them), and so, the author remains a mystery, much like Gold Key’s understanding of Star Trek.

Quick Synopses of stories… *Red Alert, SPOILERS directly ahead!*

The Cosmic Cavemen- Primitives worship Spock as God and Scotty flirts with a psychic high priestess! Bonus: Dinosaurs!

The Highjacked Planet- Bio-Magnetic Tape can record and store anything, Human beings, Scottish Terriers, and entire worlds! A crazy actor steals the recordings and Spock gets seduced a by sexy vaudevillian. Bonus: Spock spacewalks!

The Haunted Asteroid- The crew explores a scary egg shaped mausoleum. Capt. Kirk slaps an archeologist and asks her to dinner! Bonus: Mini-Bombs!

A World Gone Mad- The Federation must save a child emperor and his subjects from crazy, comet gas by using vacuum cleaners in outer space! Viva La Revolution! Bonus: They play spaceball outside the Enterprise!

The Mummies of Heitus VII- Mad science and terror stalk the enterprise crew when 10,000 year old mummies wake up on a dead planet. Bouns: Female Romulan commander with eyepatch and miniskirt!

The Siege in Superspace- The Enterprise travels through a Black Hole, and the crew must save themselves and a civilization from Vegetable Cyborgs. Bonus: Uhura in combat!

Child’s Play- Spock and McCoy must travel across the Galaxy in five days to save Kirk, the landing party, and a planet of super genius kids from a deadly disease. Bonus: Nurse Chapel gets to do something!

The Trial of Captain Kirk- Kirk sports an Afro and scores! Oh, and there’s something about him getting framed and illegal mining. Bonus: Brain powered cerebots!

“This is frustrating! What good are two phasers against an army!” --Uhura (pg. 153)

Impressions

“It was just an uncontrolled reaction, that mental cry for help! Then as the phaser found a soft spot…” --Spock (pg. 26)

This is Bizzaro Star Trek. All your favorite characters are here but it’s a little off. It’s off in a refreshing, hilarious, fun, kinda’ way. Sulu and Nurse Chapel wear lime green uniforms, hand phasers are red, Uhura merely has a tan, and the tech talk is all-wrong. It’s as if photos of Star Trek were beamed to 1940s creators who knew nothing about the show. So, everything is very Flash Gordonish. Submarine hatches on the Enterprise? Fans didn’t make these comics and it shows, but somehow that makes them more entertaining. The art is well drawn though, and the characters usually look like the real actors. Huge inhabited asteroids, weird giant creatures, post-apocalyptic vistas, corny robots and large futuristic cities, impossible in the original show, grace these colorful pages. And Captain Kirk has temporary plastic surgery to get an Afro!

After 35 years of Star Trek, it’s nice read something without 35 years baggage. The Star Trek Gold Key comics are solo tales with no thought given to continuity, or to the show for that matter. They’re a breath of fresh air from a dusty tome, “ahhhh, splendid isolation” (cough, cough). These stories often have Deux Ex Machina, plot devices and ignore commonly accepted beliefs about reality. But, it’s fun and nostalgic to have the original Kirk, Spock, and Bones in all their four-color glory. If I had to sum up the sensation I get from reading these, it might be Ed Wood meets Gene Rodenberry with a little Bradbury thrown in. Maybe you canna’ break the laws of physics but these comics sure do, and God help me, I admire them for it!

“The animal’s physically perfect-- But his brain’s been damaged otherwise why would the wee thing be kissin’ Mr. Spock?” --Scotty (pg. 37)

Pros

“This is not the time for pessimism, Doctor! I suggest you use your tricorder in locating the herbs! It will save us valuable time!” --Spock (pg. 181)

These are the original Star Trek comics for those who want ‘60s Trek. The drawings are creative, and the reprinting is of high quality. Bizarre stuff that could never exist in the TV show erupts in these stories. They are not “canon,” thank god. This version of Star Trek will make you laugh more than it makes you think, but it’s alotta’ fun. Kirk still gets the girl. You can read them without paying an arm and a leg to the collectors market. All hail Afro Kirk!

“Rhuna was quite an amazing woman. If only infinity didn’t block our paths” --Kirk (pg. 161)

Cons

“I bring you good news! Our sensors show that a nearby star is likely to go nova within six hours!” --Spock (pg. 155)

People not familiar with Star Trek TOS won’t enjoy it as much. Some might not like the fact that the creators knew nothing about the show. Color schemes for the costumes are amiss. No famous quotes like “he’s dead Jim!” Ridiculous concepts, stories and characters throughout! (Is that bad?). Someone might see you reading it.

“Everybody back! It’s opening the anti-matter tubes!” --Scotty (pg, 123)

Who might like it?

“It’s strange, Mr. Spock, looking at your own body this way! But with our own brain patterns inside these robots, we can move freely on the deadly planet Kibo!” --McCoy (pg. 189)

Fans of Star Trek especially the original show, comic history buffs, Sci-Fi fans, those sick of continuity, GMs who want TOS material for their Star Trek games. Oddball comic book lovers, folks who can look at pictures and read at the same time, people curious about space vacuuming, and miniskirt chasers!

“I see your cave queen gave you a little posy to remember her, Mr. Scott! How touching!” --Spock (pg. 31)

Conclusion

“Careful with the transfer doctor! One sniff of that stuff and you’re off to cuckoo-land” --Scotty (pg. 103)

If you like Star Trek you could do a lot worse than these comics. They are pretty wacky but they’re “fun,” something Star Trek hasn’t been in a long time. These comic books remind us not to take our popular culture and hobbies too seriously. Moreover, the art and reproduction are first rate. On a deeper level, these dramatic stories also teach us to love and respect each other while… ah who am I kiddin’ …Captain Kirk’s got a ‘Fro!

“Right now we have to get the enterprise to the nearest Federation port! After all this, She’ll need a major overhaul!” --Kirk (pg. 135)

NOTE: Mark Martinez maintains a Star Trek comics checklist at http://homepage.mac.com/mmtz/stcomix/

Star Trek is © and a registered trademark of Paramount Pictures Corporation.