The Premise:
Uuuuuhhhhh... players are themselves beating the holy hell out of each other until there is only one badass left standing.

What Ya Get:
PVP comes in a zip file that contains two fifteen page PDFs - a print version and a "web" version. You will need the Adobe Acrobat software or some third-party software capable of rendering the PDF format to be useful as well as a program such as WinZip that can uncompress the files. Honestly, if you don't know how to use a computer yet, ask yer mamma to show you but you might not recognize her - I shaved her back.

Cost:
PvP: The Beatdown will set you back $4.99 at RPGNow, you cheap little bastard.

Appearance:
The appearance depends on which version you want to use. The print version is very well done up with a stained comb-binder look and is specially designed to be printed in a duplex printer that can handle back to back printing. The "web" version is simply one page per sheet with the registration marks included in case you want to trim it down yourself. In both cases, the design is very well done with simple but evocative cartoon figures in the vein of those industrial warning signs you see getting into all kinds of trouble. You're considering buying a book about beating the fuck out of someone else and you want to know if the damn thing looks pretty?!

Chargen:
Character generation is simple, fucktard. Each player has two main attributes: Beatdown (attack) and Cockblock (defense). You also have the option to select a third optional attribute: Meatwad, Neckpunch, Blabbermouth, Pimpinfist, Flashyerpiece, and BOOBIES!! (God help you if you don't even know what those are, you limp wristed pansy) More on these later. Now, take how many dice you have on you and divide them up between the two or three attributes you have and thats it. So simple even your imbred sister could follow them.

The Mechanics:
The mechanics of PvP are simple as you would expect. You roll the number of dice you have in either your Beatdown (when unloading furious anger) or Cockblock (when you're being a little bitch). Even numbers are "wins" and odd numbers are "losers." Wins are counted towards damage or to negate the pummeling being done to you. Critical wins (when you roll all evens) count double their number - i.e. four wins becomes eight. Critical losers (when you roll all odds) permanently costs you a die from the attribute you were rolling against. If a Beatdown roll is more than the target's Cockblock roll, they loose the margin of success from their Cockblock attribute. Basically, its harder to defend yourself when you've had the shit kicked out of you already.

The remainder of the rulebook is covered by a list of the optional attributes, the LARP rules and a FAQ. The special attributes are used in place of a normal Beatdown or Cockblock roll. Most give you some special effect but the downside is that dice used for these special attacks are lost. Some attributes have ways or regaining the dice but some do not so you'll basically have to figure out when is the best time to use them. The LARP rules are good if you don't mind the police being called in to handle a riot or domestic dispute. They consist of putting all your dice in your dice back and wailing away on everyone else's punk asses. The FAQ contains information on rules clarification and the ever-popular d20 variant of the game.

Overall Impression:
Alright. Yeah. Its a bit of joke but, admitt it, there has been plenty of times you wanted to reach across the gaming table to that prick in front of you and squeeze him around the neck until he turned blueberry. This gives you a way to do it thats non-violent (emotinal scarring doesn't count - you're a gamer - you should have plenty of that by now) and almost as satisfying. As such, its a nice little filler game and could work well especially if the night's session is full of combat to get the players into the mood to do some GBH on their opponents.

MetalMan signing off.