Or...

The Night We Geeks Broke-In MidEvil and Fragged Each Other!

My name is Red and I am about to meet my maker at the hands of the walking dead. It wasn't always like this, I had a life once. I even had myself a fun life, a job, friends, even a girl! Then the dead started to walk the streets. That wasn't so bad though, I didn't spend all those years in the basement tossing dice and fragging other player characters and not learn a thing or two about dropping the walking dead. (Although I should have worked out a bit more, pop and chips do not make for strong smiting food). It didn't faze me too much when the government decided to crank out a couple of super-uber-monster zombies, a head shot is still a head shot baby. It did suck when the smelly buggers took my mall, that just wasn't cool, but I got by. Me, my girl, and all my friends. We had made it. Figured it was time for a little vacation. You know, with all those horror flicks I watched, you'd think I would have known not to go to that creepy old cabin in the woods. Course, it wasn't me who read that friggen book, so none of you go whining about how the undead apocalypse was my fault!

I'm getting ahead of myself, and since I'm about to bite it, I better hurry.

Everything started off just peachy. We were all sitting around in this cool old cabin. Sure, it smelled it little, but the creep factor helped us dudes out in the sweet love department. You know what I mean. Anyway, my buddy Green finds this book and figures it would be a good idea to read from it, in his best Vincent Price voice, kinda’ help set the mood. Yea, that turned out to be a genius move. Next thing I know, this big ass hole opens up in the sky and the five of us are sucked into some twisted version of Dorothy’s twister. Only, we don't land in Kansas...Hell, we don't even land in Oz. Nope, we land in some backwards renaissance faire gone bad. Up to our armpits in skeletons.

The not completely still kind either. No, these were your Jason and the Argonauts type skeletons!

I take off like a mad man and I'm only a little ashamed to admit that I have no idea what happened to my girl. Oh well, sorry baby.When the bones are looking to take a bite out of my hide, its every person for himself...or, um...herself I guess. What? Like you would have stuck around and tried to play hero! Bull honky, you would have run too and if you didn't... Well, then you're as big a fool as Green. Poor dude, never made it out of the alter area. The last thing I remember hearing from him was some smack talk about "schooling these crusty mothers", then, a crunch. Heh, yea, someone got schooled buddy. Note to all you would be monster hunters. If you find yourself surrounded by the undead: Run! You'll have plenty of time to fight back once you've put some distance between yourself and the slower members of your party.

Alright, so everything was going fine, I mean, apart from the whole trapped in the past and skeletons trying to kill me. I knew what I had to do. I had to find that damn book that sent us back to this infernal time in the first place. If I could find it, then maybe I could go home. Things were going good. Orange and Yellow were off playing Conan or something as they hacked away at skeleton after skeleton. Okay, so maybe my body count wasn't the highest but at least I wasn't getting bitten every other minute by them walking cadavers. Then, it happened. I rounded a corner and came face to face with a virtual wall of bones and behind me, White laughing his arse off at me! Okay buddy, soon as I take care of these skeletons, I'm coming after you! I'll teach you to summon extra dead against me. Turning my attention back the dead, I grinned and started swinging...

One. Two. Three.

Yea baby! The dead were dropping like flies. These shambling bones got nothing on ‘ol Red! Bring it! Bring it! One of them dropped something. I looked down to see what mister boney smiles had in his hand. Ah sweet... A mace! Nothing like cold hard spiked steel to warm this old school fragger's heart. Although, I think I should have been paying more attention when I bent down to pick it up. Damn, that boney claw is going to leave a mark. As I started to get my bearings, I heard a voice that sounds familiar. It’s Green! don't ask me how, but Green must have found a way out of that pile of bones that had him covered a few minutes before. He ran past me, smiling the whole time. Oh sure, don't help a brother out or anything! Jerk, I took out all those dead for him and he runs in and takes all the booty. Well, at least I can get out of the town square on my first try! Noob.

In the distance I hear a horse start to gallop, Orange is off and riding. She isn't hitting too many dead but it doesn't seem to matter. She is riding too dang fast for any of them to tag her. Dang, I gotta’ get me a horse...and I will, she has to dismount the beast sometime. I better pay more attention; don't want to end up worm food in the land of primitives. I stood back and watched as White yanked a crossbow from Yellow and started picking off a bunch of walking dead inside the Blacksmiths show. Poor Yellow, left for dead and without a weapon. Hey now, it looks like he still has himself a polearm. Boy, I sure could go for a polearm. Okay, so making him miss a few of the skeletons was a dirty rotten trick, but I needed me some more weapons and Yellow wasn't paying attention. White cleaned out most of this section of town, course, he did it with Yellow’s crossbow. Still, a clear space is a clear space and I wasn't going to knock it. White cleared a nice path for me to run through. Then, in the distance, I heard it. Green! Friggen Green! He kept screaming and yelping that he’d found the book. Of all the people to find the book it’s that poor fool who couldn't even get out of the town square in one attempt! Clearly, a book as powerful as the Necronomicon doesn't belong in the hands of such an unlucky lummox.

So I just had to steal it!

I saw Green in the middle of the graveyard, the Necronomicon in one hand and a severed skeleton arm in another. Hope he’s good with that there bone club, because he’s up to his beady little eyeballs in undead! I really should've helped him; after all, that book is the key to our salvation. Well, it’s the key to my salvation. On second thought; I'll let Green do all the heavy lifting. I watched Green take a few more swings; poor dude wasn't looking too good. Then, suddenly, a crossbow bolt few past me, darn near taking my ear off. Aright Whitey, I see how its going to be. You want to play rough? ‘Ol Red can play rough! Not caring one bit how many skeletons were shambling about me, I slipped in and out of their boney arms and before you can say "All your bases are belong to me", I snagged the book from Green’s hands. He yelled at me about something, like I care! White is busy reloading as I made my way past him. Yellow made a run at me; I popped him in the face, that'll teach him. Orange leans down from her horse, I dodge her once. I better come up with a better plan, no way in hell I can keep outrunning Orange and her four-legged ride. Turns out, I didn't need to. Green must have picked up a few tricks when he grabbed the Necronomicon. Before I know it, skeletons were coming from every nook and cranny I could see. Orange is dragged kicking and screaming from her horse. Sorry baby, promise if we make it back to our time alive, I'll take you to Olive Garden or somewhere, you know, classy. Sure, I feel kinda’ bad for leaving her again, but you know, when I get back to my time I can sell my story to the highest bidder. I'll be famous.

At least I would have been.

I was crossing the bridge near the town square, towards the alter, All I had to do was get the book back to alter and it would have sent me back home. I had it all worked out. Then came White. Somehow, he was able to get some of them skeletons to block my path. He had some kind of wicked look in his eye, before I knew it the Necronomicon was yanked from my hands and into his. I was able to get a few good whacks in before he slipped away from me. I just threw my hands up in the air as I watched White disappear from this hellacious time, back to where he belonged. Hell, back to where I belonged. Guess I should go find Orange, see if I can get her to forgive me for leaving her for dead amongst the walking skeletons.

Assuming this mob of undead doesn't do me in first. Hell of a day.

MidEvil is the newest variable tile game from Twilight Games, the folks who produced the extremely enjoyable Zombies!!! series of games. While not a fully compatible game with Zombies!!!, MidEvil uses a vary similar set of rules but has added more options for weapons and abilities. Although I am certain there are a few gamers out there who have already devised rules for combining all the games into an undead free for all! MidEvil, as you read above, encourages more player versus player action. While your fellow players in Zombies!!! didn't go out of their way to help you, they often didn't try to hinder you either. Such is not the case in MidEvil. During a game of MidEvil, it is every trash talking skeleton fragger for themselves!

There were a few confusing issues with the rules as provided within the game, the folks at Twilight Games were clearly aware of the issues as a free FAQ appeared online almost immediately. While you don't need to download the FAQ to enjoy the game, it does make it simpler to teach a large group of players, as it explains the rules in better detail. Another small gripe comes in the form of the character tokens: A few of them match the same color as the skeletons and it can make for some confusing moments. Again, this isn't that big of a problem, just make sure you move your token and not a skeleton. Like Zombies!!!, MidEvil makes an excellent party game for folks who like their board games a little on the weird side. As always, the variable tile system insures that no two games of MidEvil will ever be the same.

Twilight Creations has produced another stellar game that gamers of all experience levels will enjoy. Try and find a copy at your local gaming or comic book store or at the RPG.net store.

* My apologies to Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell for blatantly ripping off their movies for this little review…