Last reviews
of 24 hour games before the grand act! (The weekend is July 9th-10th, with the
Sister Weekend of the 16th and 17th for those who just can't squeeze in the
previous weekend.) I hope this makes it in in time before the weekend… may end
up appearing between the two.
There was
one game that missed out on being reviewed this time around because I can’t
download it. The writer has attempted to make an audio file game… pity, Fabula
Altisonis sounded very interesting. (Get it? Ow.)
This is a
review of the last 9 submissions of games received this year in the lead up to
the grand act. If you are curious about my last reviews, you will find them by
searching for the name Evan or the number 24 in the reviews section. I
committed to reviewing all the games submitted in the lead up, and now I have
fulfilled that commitment. Yay!
And a vast
variety again this time around. In reverse order: Card / miniatures supers
game; Dungeoneering for kiddies; a Generic Universal Descriptor based RPG system;
Martial Arts; Monsters created by Mad Science (or magic); Robots trying to save
the last human in deep space; a high school for Wandering Monsters; Orcs going
through the rite of initiation on the first level of a dungeon; and Dead People
with Outstanding Issues hanging about to fix stuff the hard way. Neat-O!
All the
games reviewed here are available for free download from links available via
the www.24hourrpg.com and http://www.1km1kt.net/24hourrpg/ websites, so check
them out if you are interested.
The
challenge is simply to complete an entire RPG from nothing more than ideas,
your available tools and your own ability within a 24-hour period. So the work
you are looking at here is likely to be short, sharp and interesting, with a
varying degree of polish.
A few notes
on my marking system: 1=Below Average, 2=Average, 3 =Good, 4= High, 5=
Excellent. I have on occasion indulged myself and added a 0 and a 6. You can
figure what those might mean.
Flavour/Concept:
Outline of the game concept. The score is pretty subjective. I put my personal
opinion of the ideas here.
Formatting:
A bit more objective, this lists the style, structure and overall set up of the
piece.
Appearance:
Again subjective, but with a bit more back up, points are scored for art, maps,
and neat tricks with fonts or colours.
Professionalism:
Spelling, Grammar, Writing maturity, and tone of the work. I have a bad eye for
detail, so scores will not vary much in this one unless the game does
exceptionally well or exceptionally badly.
Completeness:
How easy is the game to pick up and play from what is presented, how finished
does the work feel. Note that "pick up and play" is subjective. Most
RPGs are built with a setting in mind, and what I am judging here is how easy
it is to pick up the info here and run the game as intended. For universal type
games, there needs to be enough info to allow a GM to pick it up and use it
with the info at hand only in any appropriate genre.
Mechanics:
How appropriate the mechanics of the game are to the game style, how innovative
and clever they are and how easy to use and understand. All mechanics are
judged without play testing, just from a read through.
Totals: 5/30
F, 10/30 D, 15/30 C, 20/30 B, and 25/30 A.
As usual,
most of these categories are subjective, so take my grading with a bucket of
salt. I have tried to divide the scoring so that roughly 1/3 of the score is
flash, 1/3 is serious, and 1/3 is bias. ;)
Shinigami
Chronicles
Megan Marie
McKnight
Flavour/Concept:
You are dead, but you have issues. A bit like Dead Like Me or the Crow… or
something somewhere in the middle. Nice Genre choice and well handled. High 4/5
Formatting: Table of Contents, only a short framing
concept, and dives into descriptions of game concepts. Format good and easy to
grasp. Good 3/5.
Appearance:
Nice font choice, clean appearance with nice spacing. Not too flash, but
effective. Good 3/5
Professionalism:
There are several colloquial moments, and some grammatical issues, but overall
solid work. Average 2/5
Completeness:
Lots of goodies in this one. Includes character sheet and several sample
characters. I did want to see some examples of play and maybe a table of
abilities. I also see some holes in the challenge rating system in that a GM
has only got implied guidelines for what numbers to set each type of challenge
to under some circumstances, and I think this is a serious oversight. Still
otherwise high, taken down a notch to Good. 3/5
Mechanics:
Fairly mundane target number mechanic that is extremely functional, but not
innovative. Average, except that there are nice character generation notes and
I admire the functionality… Good 3/5
Totals:
18/30 B-
First Level
Theodore
Ehara
Flavour/Concept:
A rules lite version of DnD where you play 1st level orcs resisting
intruders on the first level of a dungeon. Not tight enough in the rules to be
satisfying, and I don’t think it has enough grunt to be a successful mini-game
as it is (unlike Roguelike, for example). There is an interesting feel of transience
in the game in the limits of the characters and situation. It has some
crunchiness that I will give a point for, and I like the concept of playing the
other side of the dungeon crawl for another point, so Average 2/5
Formatting:
No Table of Contents, splits a story into a side text box but then jumps around
with including an NPC write up part the way through… Really badly needs
overview. Poor 1/5
Appearance:
Simple document conversion, with a couple of nice maps and several large blank
bits. Average. 2/5
Professionalism:
Not bad writing, gets the game ideas across appropriately. Story is cool,
overall OK. Average 2/5
Completeness:
Certainly enough to play here, covers all the needed material, though it skips
the needed detail on things like attacks of opportunity that take so much
brainpower in 3rd ed. 4/5.
Mechanics:
Basically this is d20 lite, with some variance. It is quite solid work, but
there is not too much more to say than that. Average. 2/5
Totals:
13/30 C-
Wandering
Monster High School
Kynn
Bartlett
Flavour/Concept:
You are going to Wandering Monster High School. LMAO. Utterly Brilliant.
Excellent 5/5
Formatting:
Nice title page, ToC, then players section, GM section and character sheet. All
clear and to the point. Excellent. 5/5.
Appearance:
Plain text conversion, some blank spaces, nice font choices, and excellent character
sheet report card. Good 3/5
Professionalism:
Very well written indeed. Very impressed. A joy to read: excellent light humour
and good tone throughout the work. Excellent 5/5
Completeness:
Very complete offering, with spells, classes (as in, actual classes you go to),
grades, teacher lists, extra curricular activities and special needs
management. I would like to see some fiction, but this is a request, not a
requirement. Maybe more magic items. Me stop talking now. Excellent 5/5
Mechanics:
A very cute system of dice based on grades. Excellent light rules that are
simple and easy to understand without sacrificing usability. It has innovation
in the dice usage and character sheet, and solid mechanics from a playability
perspective. I will shave a point for the lack of management of rolling the
same number in opposed challenges, as this is a likely regular occurrence given
that all results are from 1-12 only. High. 4/5
Totals:
27/30 A+
Frankengame
Christopher
Taylor
Flavour/Concept:
Play hideous monster creations patched together in some bizarre experiment gone
mad. Kewl. Designed very much as a one-shot mini-game, with lots of gm
suggestions and some neat ideas. I would play this. High 4/5
Formatting:
ToC, notes, Intro, what is role playing then into the chargen. All laid out in
easy to find fashion, except for the blank bits where new chapters start part
the way down a page (you can fix this in word with section breaks… email me if
you need help with this). Good 3/5
Appearance:
Very nice titles, colours and font choice. Mentioned the large blank spaces. A
good character sheet, overall Good 3/5
Professionalism:
Good writing style. Some equivocation can be seen here and there in the
writing, which is a bit of a failing in a system piece. There are occasional
moments that need a little more clarity or revision (e.g. critical error in
character creation says you can only add 2 to any one stat, then shows in
examples you can add more). Still Good 3/5
Completeness:
Solid playability, with as much info as needed, and more in terms of
suggestions for GMs and so on. Even though this is a short game, because it
limits itself to this scope rather well, High 4/5
Mechanics:
A very solid number of successes mechanic is the backbone of this work, with
some rather nice random character trait generation notes at the beginning. I
like the writing of traits and the pulling them out of a hat, cute. The
complexity and subtlety of how to manage contests is remarkably high for such a
simple system but nevertheless relatively easy to grasp. I would say that the
complexity of figuring out successes in opposed contests is still a notch in
the armour though. High 4/5
Totals:
21/30 B
The Last
Human
Nathan
Russell
Flavour/Concept:
You are robots on a colony ship that failed. The androids went all Hal /
Cyberdyne and killed all the humans, then left to explore the universe. But,
the left over reject droids have found one last living human child in the
vats... Excellent 5/5.
Formatting:
Good title page, framing story, Table of Contents, and simple run through of
the system in logical fashion. Some system elements are out of place in the
read through, and there are moments when the otherwise excellent formatting
spill over or leave some gaps. High 4/5
Appearance:
Very pretty indeed, in spite of no art. Includes an excellent use of colour,
font and the header and footer throughout the work. Very pretty character
sheet. Occasional gaps and bad spacing are the main concerns. High 4/5.
Professionalism:
Far too easy going for a system text on a number of occasions, but still well
written. It goes for entertaining rather than informative. Occasional problems
with checking things are evident, like making sure a text box has all the text
visible (page 5) or using the word ‘skill’ when the concept has been defined as
‘programs’. Often repetitive of some of the base concepts, but all of this is
forgivable. Good 3/5.
Completeness:
Very good for pick up and play. Misses out on top marks for not having notes
about equipment (kind of needed in a sci-fi game I think) and experience. Still
an excellent amount of material, and both of the key omissions have
justification in the character style and genre, and so much GM notes! High 4/5
Mechanics:
A nice inversion of the normal challenge rating system by simply adding more
dice the harder that a challenge is, to try to roll the addition of these dice
under stat+skill. Clever. There are some definitional problems in character
generation that are probably nothing more than things to be corrected with a
read-through. Excellent simplicity of challenges, and well suited to the style
of game. 5/5
Totals:
25/30 A
The Ten
Thousand Stances
Daniel Marble
Flavour/Concept:
Martial Artists fighting game. Not enough to inspire me, though the card
concept has some possibilities that are not really developed to its full
potential. In theory could eventuate into a M:tG style game with a bucket (nay,
a dump truck) load more work. Average 2/5
Formatting:
No ToC, leaps into system, and doesn’t explain the items in a logical format.
Poor 1/5
Appearance:
Plain document conversion. Some OK bits at the end with the cards for
maneuvers. Average 2/5.
Professionalism:
There is a lot of unprofessional language here, and the quality of the writing
in the examples in particular is a hard read, and often unclear. Poor 1/5.
Completeness:
Not a bad amount of work here. Suffers from failure of scope because it sets up
to design a system able to manifest vast numbers of martial arts but only
demonstrates one example. Still playable as is, with some difficulties, so
Average 2/5
Mechanics:
Uses a standard deck of cards as the randomizer, and pits martial artists
against each other. The system is not explained very well, but I think I have
absorbed the intent of most of it. There are some neat tactical elements to the
concepts, and some good counter-plays between possible tactics of style that
could be manifest if more work were done. As it stands, it is Average 2/5
Totals:
10/30 D
Bloodworks
Jacob X
Flavour/Concept:
Generic Descriptor / Oppositional game system designed for quick action and any
genre. The system is solid and has a lot of good ideas built in. The writing
detracts from this one a little. As with most descriptor systems, there is
heavy onus placed on GM to make judgment calls on what is a good descriptor and
how balanced they are from player to player. I do like the oppositional nature
of character abilities and the neat management of damage and combat in general.
High 4/5
Formatting:
No ToC, leaps into system. Begins badly, (assumed knowledge, no ‘hook’, leaps
into not-great system descriptions) which is a terrible mistake for a system
document to make. I didn’t want to read further than the first page. Now I am
very glad I did. Mostly explains the items in a logical method, but sometimes
skips around. Much in need of overview and revision. Poor 1/5
Appearance:
Plain document conversion, appropriate use of sectioning. OK character sheet.
Average 2/5.
Professionalism:
Begins badly but gets into the flow of describing the system after a few pages.
Neglects a couple of important elements (e.g. how many Titles, Arenas and Minor
Gifts / Bane opposites do people get at each power level… have to extrapolate
from characters listed). I will knock it up a notch for some of the maturity of
the concepts in the middle parts. Average 2/5.
Completeness:
For something that comes in a medium length document, this one has excellent
playability. Hits all bases from equipment to experience and superpowers,
crossing all genres. Excellent 5/5
Mechanics:
Uses opposed d20 + descriptor bonuses to resolve actions. Love the Face/Bane
concepts. There is a very neat way of managing how damage and success levels
work in here, and I like the simplicity. I think d20 might be too random for
the implications of the bonuses listed: A Title is a fundamental character
shifting ability that might shape an entire life path, and gets +6 on a d20
roll. I would say this one needs a smaller dice and maybe a bell curve to base
the randomizer on. This is tuning, however. Manages any genre and a variety of
game styles with ease. High 4/5
Totals:
18/30 B-
Dungeon
Squad
Jason Morningstar
Flavour/Concept:
Simple play fantasy adventure rules designed for introducing real life
munchkins to munchkinism. Well written, excellent simplicity of rules and
abilities, good job. High 4/5
Formatting:
No ToC or sectional referencing, but is only 5 pages long and logical in its
structure. Small size works in its favour here. Good 3/5
Appearance:
Plain document conversion, with an excellent use of clip art dice and simple
& effective character sheet. Good 3/5.
Professionalism:. Has a bit of indecision in the writing style
in that it occasionally tries to speak to the player in a simplified way, and
at other times speaks to the adult game master. Aside from this style concern,
the work is well written, clear and easy to grasp. Good 3/5.
Completeness:
Given how short this is, I think the writer would have had time to do a
‘player’s handout’ rather than just a GMs system walkthrough. But it is an
excellent piece of playable game in every other way, well scoped and well
written, and tight. High 4/5
Mechanics:
Excellent character generation by allocating a prime area of ability to a dice
type. Has a very good simplicity in the mechanic with a ‘roll over’ target on dice as the resolution
method. Excellent matching of system design to style of game. Intuitive, and
very, very appropriate. Excellent 5/5
Totals:
22/30 B+
Sky Ace
Jeff Moore
Flavour/Concept:
A supers card/miniatures game designed around the standard 52 card deck.
Includes tactical play rules as one-off mini game and RPG rules for those that
want to take it into the next level. Conceptually very clever indeed; it works
well as is and I see plenty of potential for more work to fill it out into a
complete RPG. High 4/5
Formatting:
Excellent job in organizing the material into short play rules then RPG rules.
Good intro. Good use of ToC and credits. Well designed call-out boxes to
highlight important rules. Excellent work here. 5/5
Appearance:
Well structured page by page to fill in space and make appealing. Excellent use
of art (all from Devil’s Workshop Image Portfolio Anthology, which has been
paid for, so technically is not valid within the scope of the 24 hour game. As
such I will pretend the art was blank spaces in my grade). Good, because of the
excellent clean style, great card pictures, and well done character sheet. 3/5
(And +2 if you don’t have foibles about using paid art in this challenge (which
I do)).
Professionalism:
Manages to do the “what is RolePlaying” thing in a really clever way by
introducing the ideas via the short tactical play rules. Writing is
occasionally a little in need of proofing for style and clarity, but overall
very good. Good 3/5.
Completeness:
The tactical play rules are spot on. The Role Play rules peter out toward the
end as energy levels of the writer fade, so it starts to get the odd gaps
(skills for example). Still includes most of what is needed for the RPG, so
well done. For the scope failure will take it down a couple of notches, then
will up it one for having excellent playable tactical card game rules. High 4/5
Mechanics:
Some very clever manipulation of cards in the rules here. The method of how the
tactics of the game manifest by suit are really neat and I can immediately see
some associations that might get drawn (hearts in building are strong, easily
defensible structures, spades have all kinds of things that can get picked up
and used in combat, Diamonds are buildings with lots of glass that allow
clarity of vision for far attacks, and Clubs are ones with lots of bridges or
access ways to other buildings…). Unfortunately, the cards are counted in
different ways depending on whether they are used in challenges or on the deck
as the map, and this level of complexity seems unnecessary. I will take it down
a notch from Excellent because some clarity is missing about running out of
cards and other similar concerns. High 4/5
Totals:
23/30 A-
That’s it.
Thanks for reading. Join in, the event is on!
Warm
regards,
Evan
