The Last Woman on Earth

From world renowned exploitation on a budget B-movie auteur Roger Corman comes a bowdlerized penny dreadful hybrid of the creature features cult classic The Last Man on Earth with a doom and gloom moral decay The World, The Flesh and The Devil twist.

Listed Running Time: 71 Minutes

Actual Run Time: 64 minutes

MPAA Rating: NR.

Cast: Betsy Jones-Moreland, Antony Carbone, and Robert Towne.

Director: Roger Corman.

Recommended: Yes.

For a movie that was probably shot over the course of a weekend, if even that, it's not that bad. Don't get me wrong this is most definitely not the best Corman has produced. Yet it isn't his worst work either. Rather this oddity falls somewhere in the gray area between abysmal and inspired. Picture quality of the feature itself is fair to mediocre and looks to have been sourced from a scratchy, washed out, and very dingy 16mm print. However the sound, aside from a few problems stemming from the condition of the source print, is fairly crisp and clear throughout. Alas the movie only runs about 64 minutes, while the box indicates a running time of 71 minutes, and thus may leave some feeling it all went by too quickly. Even where the similarities with The World, The Flesh and The Devil are concerned this, at best, is a pale imitation. Otherwise an intriguing film exploring the darker side of human nature and what might happen as the thin veneer of civilization is suddenly stripped away when two men and one woman find themselves the sole apparent surviving humans on earth.

Unlike the original Price vehicle the story in Last Woman on Earth, as the title implies, is not about a man this go around but concerns a woman. Only she isn't exactly alone, not by a Las Vegas long shot. While not quite a parody of the original this isn't exactly a copy either. Rather it presents a blending of genre ideas. Yet more than a few scenes within the movie are conceptually similar to those found in the Vincent Price classic, especially the ending. While both movies present a window into a cracked funhouse mirror end of the world morality play Last Woman comes sans undead. Thus the movie plays more like a melodrama. A period melodrama.

Indeed Last Woman is a period piece, not by design but rather by dating, which means this film has become a real work of the time and it shows in every scene. Since this was shot circa 1960 if you're expect flashy CGI SFX, blaring hard rock musical scores, an abundance of naked flesh, or you have a short attention span that must be fed by pointless explosions and gunplay ever five minutes this movie probably isn't for you. Otherwise not bad for a Roger Corman quickie from the sixties.

The Setting: 20^th century Cuba circa the late fifties early sixties.

The Characters: Believe it or not this film centers around three characters: Harold, his wife Evelyn, and their lawyer Martin. While that is the perfect number of characters for a one shot beer & pretzels game onscreen it's a bit uneven. When the movie opens we are treated to Harold, Evelyn, and Martin watching a cockfight. Did I mention that the trio are in Puerto Rico on holiday? Yeah, I have no idea who'd take a holiday to Puerto Rico and decide they have to go see a cockfight either. Then again Harold is apparently a gambler. How a shady business man like him wound up with such a pretty wife, not to mention a lawyer on retainer that goes with them even on their holidays, is beyond me. Then again the ways of the world are strange and mysterious.

Like what happens when the trio go scuba diving. (Ok it looks like footage taken from a marina aquarium but let's not nitpick!) Upon surfacing they all notice a sudden difficulty in breathing. What will they do? Oh, yes, they were scuba diving so they have oxygen tanks. What luck! But wait, look, when they get back to their tour boat the pilot is dead. What ever will they do now? Oh, that's right, Harold apparently knows all about boats because he owns a yacht So why were they going out in a cheap looking piece of.. Fascinating isn't it?

The Story: It's the end of the world, or rather the people, or something. That's the funny part. The characters never really question what's happened or bother to make an effort to find out, much less locate others. Then again were I to go scuba diving off the coast of a tropical island and surface to find that everyone had died of some unknown mysterious pandemic breathing disease I might not be too keen to go exploring either. On the other hand, with everyone dead, it's hard to believe that shady gangster guy wouldn't see this as an opportunity to hit the first bank he sees to empty it out or that oblivious wife-doll sot wouldn't likewise seize upon the opportunity to walk into the first liquor store she sees and do her best to drown herself one bottle at a time. As for why Mr. Opportunistic Lawyer sticks around?

The Last: With everyone dead that means there'd be more than a marina or two full of motorboats, yachts, and other assorted sailing craft whose owners are no longer around. And what about the airports? If the planes in the air were affected there should be a lot of ground devastation. (What goes up must come down.) Yet if the planes weren't affected that means an airport would seem to be one of the logical places to search for potential survivors, not to mention interesting hardware. Speaking of which what about all the equipment and assorted hardware on military bases, wouldn't it just be laying around waiting for someone to claim it?

Just try to imagine waking up one day to find no one in your city. Think of all the places you could go now that there's no people, no police, no military, no one to stop you or card you or tell you to get off the grass! Sadly the characters do none of that. In retrospect it's quite sad. If anyone survived whatever it was that killed the folks working at the tourist shops you know they would be at a military base, that's like Murphy's B-movie law #1.

The real last straw horror here is that the trio decides to just move upwind to a beachside bungalow and set-up house like nothing happened. Me, I'd be stopping at every police station, hospital, and mall looking for people then, finding no one, head out to the nearest military base. But these characters just move into a beachside bungalow! Talk about your psychological disconnects. They didn't really even bother to make en effort dig graves to bury anyone. Did the worms and flies die too?

It's this sort of mind boggling, low budget, full of holes so big a ELE hail of comets could fly through them plot that drives movie critics to the brink of insanity and makes these cheesy flicks with their cosmically credulous story lines such great viewing for the rest of us.

Moral: Being the third wheel along on a vacation sucks but finding out you're the third wheel survivor after the apocalypse really bites the big one, so bring along someone, even if you have to pay for their company; it'll save you from head bashed migraines later.

Last Woman on Earth is a psychological thriller with undertones of A-Bomb horror. The characters are very stereotypical and should translate well into any RPG with modern archetypes. For instance Harold is your shady "businessman" gangster type. Evelyn is the totally oblivious wife, who probably married him because he was rich. She not totally oblivious. Though rather than ask probing questions she drains her sorrows in liquor. Martin is an opportunist, he's the stereotypical guy along for the ride. His main interest, at the beginning of the movie at least, seems to be keeping Harold out of trouble. In other words he's the dutiful retainer, but his loyalty is probably directly proportional to how much he gets paid. As the lawyer he's probably privy to more of Harold's business affairs than the wife, though she obviously suspects something, witness her feeble attempts to tease poor Martin. With her obvious sensuality, and a sexuality that speaks volumes of needs that aren't being fully met by her hubby, one wonders why she's not left Harold. Perhaps this trip was meant as a romantic getaway. If so Harold's a real self centered SOB. Anyway that's my two cent take on the characters. The problem is what RPG would best bring them to life?

As there are only three central characters and most onscreen action revolves around the subtle, and not so subtle, interaction of the stranded trio as they eek out an existence in a tropical paradise there's probably not much GMs of more traditional RPGs like D&D, D20, Palladium, WFRP, Stormbringer, or similar genre fare designed for fantasy campaigns will find of value. This angst filled end of the world story is a fractured fairy tale that holds a smudged mirror up to the fragile human condition and reveals how tenuous a relationship civilization and morality really are. That the movie appears custom made to adapt for use with RPGs like EarthAD or Dead Inside is one of those accidents of fate, but for the price few will complain. Much.

Other potential RPGs this movie premise could be used as the basis for building a scenario for (might) include Call of Cthulhu, CoC D20, Unbidden, and any number of the smaller press "high concept" games that center more on character interaction. Or, if you'd prefer to start from the ground up, you could begin with a generic rules system like D20 Modern, A Fist Full of Dice, Action!, GURPS Lite, or, if you are so inclined, you could even adapt something like Little Fears to fit the subject matter.

You've spent the week working 40 hours for short shrift chump change, not that they could ever pay you enough to put up with the inanity of your coworkers, so when the weekend rolls around you're ready to kick back, invite some friends over, and relax to a game of hack-n-slash dungeon crawling. It's the simply things in life we gamers enjoy but sometimes we want to branch out. But who has time to sit through a Hollywood CGI blockbuster looking for game ideas when the movie wastes two hours going nowhere?

It's all too easy to become disappointed with a movie because of an overly glowing review or because a reviewer tried to gloss over a movie's rough spots to make it seem better than it was. So let me be plain, this is pure gutter dredged B-movie tripe. It has it all: bad dialogue, a plot that doesn't really make sense, characters who wouldn't dare think to do the obvious as that would take them into the proverbial "hasn't been mapped yet" area of the dungeon, and oh so much more! In other words this flick is pure undiluted schlock. Exactly what you'd expect of a low budget Roger Corman feature. Yet it also has an interesting premise. Best of all it clocks in at just sixty-four minutes, perfect for throwing on during game night!

Video Quality: B+ (Good digital transfer using a poor quality source.)

Picture Quality: C (Fair to mediocre.)

Rating: 6 out of 10 golden apples.

Perspective: Over the years Mr. Corman has released an applecart full of tasty yet mind boggling low budget B-movies on his New Horizons and New Concorde video labels. Yet his movies exist in the gray around between fame and infamy. So notoriously well known is this Director/Producer's work that there was even a "Roger Corman Presents" series of DTV movies- including my personal favorite Burial of the Rats- that were spectacular examples of schlock cinema. All of which were produced for Showtime a few years back and received the DVD treatment.

Sadly the only versions of "The Last Woman on Earth" I've seen in stores, to date, have been released by budget DVD outfits. That means PD prints likely sourced from 16mm. Granted the movie was shot back to back with Battle of Blood Island circa 1960 and plays more like a low rent episode of the Twilight Zone than a modern full length feature but the cast did go on to star in Corman's better known cult classic Creature from the Haunted Sea- another feature AWOL on DVD save for PD prints- but you'd think someone would take the time to find the original film elements to do a proper restoration.

So what happened to this all but forgotten movie with the near perfect exploitation title? That's a very good question. Especially when one realizes that most all the salacious schlock staples in Mr. Corman's vast video archives from The Arena to The Wasp Woman have garnered remakes. If something like a Deathrace 3000 (a remake of cult classic Deathrace 2000) is in the works why not a new The Last Woman on Earth? There's so must potential here that it boggles the mind! It could be shot as a straight drama, as an exploitation shocker, a brooding sexploitation comedy, or even a in your face religious melodrama exploring the usual end of the world themes with a Corman twist. Such as using ALL of the above themes as only the inestimable Mr. Corman can.

Negatives: The color is indicative of old 16 mm video transfers, meaning it's muted and slightly washed out. The sound has a few problems here and there, again indicative of problems from the source, not the digital authoring, but its otherwise decent mono.

Positives: It's budget priced. The DVD has the usual Alpha Video features of a "play" button, six chapters "index", and superfluous "catalog" gallery as an extra in addition to a printed catalog booklet insert. DVD quality is probably the best in the bargain bin.

Availability: The DVD reviewed herein can be obtained directly through Oldies dot com or from the bargain section of most well stocked brick and mortar video stores. Or, if you are strapped for cash or just can't wait, and happen to have broadband, you can download the black and white television version from archive dot org. Be aware this version is slightly different from the one reviewed here. First, the obvious, it's in black and white. Second, it has a few extra scenes the color version lacks. (Hint: Keep an eye on hairstyle in the beach scenes.) Third, video quality may vary pending which file version you download. Those are pretty much your best options for obtaining this flick.