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It was striking, when the opening text began to scroll, the bizarre feeling of loathing I was filled with while watching those words. In that moment, I felt the concentrated and distilled bitterness and disappointment that had begun with the Phantom Menace.
We are all familiar with the narrative by now. Buck Rogers, Kurosawa's Hidden Fortress, and the Hero with a Thousand Faces. Irvin Kirshner, Gary Kurtz, and so on. For me, these factors only served as an explanation, or rationale. They did not sully the original series (and still do not).
But as this movie approached release, I actually found myself fearing it. Some people hate Lucas because his terrible prequels have ruined the 1977 series Star Wars for them. That never happened to me. They are so bad (and so inconsistent with the originals) that they occupy different parallel universes (like that Star Trek episode featuring Spock with a goatee).
But I knew from advance buzz that this movie focused on tying the first series to the second series. What I feared was a "partial success". I feared that Lucas would succeed in tying the new three to the original three and destroy them too. Turns out, I worried for nothing.
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The transition of Anakin Skywalker is (or should have been) the heart of this movie.
But Anakin, as written, is almost deliberately obtuse. He seems incapable of grasping that in his defeat of Dooku, he already avenged himself (and then some). He also seems incapable of realizing that maybe, just maybe, these Sith guys are untrustworthy and would lie to you if it is in their interest.
In watching Collateral, there were moments when I genuinely identified with Cruise's killer, with his hatred and disgust for the world he lived in, driving his nihilism. That was a far less sympathetic character than Anakin Skywalker should have been. Yet I never found myself sympathizing with Anakin, at all.
I never felt his fury. Or his fear, or sorrow.
Instead I found myself watching Anakin turn to the Dark Side in bored detachment, thinking Palpatine's brow ridges are strangely oversized. This scene was completely, painfully unconvincing. Ahh...but you see, I am forgetting something: He is supposed to.
In TPM, Anakin begins his Jedi training, because he is supposed to.
In AOTC, Obi-Wan becomes Anakin's teacher, because he is supposed to.
In ROTS, Anakin turns to the Dark Side, because he is supposed to.
In essence, this is what is wrong with these new three (leaving aside the poor directing). The writing has been broadly criticized, and this is the core. Events are not the result of natural developments, not consequences proximate to causes. Characters do not make decisions based on feelings and convictions. Taken together, these instances end up creating a story that is simultaneously boring and unbelievable. Boring because its difficult to care about these robots doing Lucas' will, and unbelievable because cause and consequence are severed from each other.
The hatred Anakin expresses toward Obi-Wan at the close of the movie could have been a powerful moment. Lucas does grasp how feelings of trust and affection can be twisted into something awful. The weakness was in progressing to that change.
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My epiphany in the closing moments of ROTS was simply this: These movies are a tribute.
It explains the plodding, colorless development. It explains why everything happens simply because it is supposed to. They weren't really movies. But the simple fact is, Georgy-porgy, after 15 years of hopes and expectations, a tribute simply is not good enough.
It was also in the final scenes that my rejection of the series set, that my fears were proved to be for naught.
Whiny Vader simply doesn't work. I am not saying its bad, or stupid. I am saying its flat-out absurd, and borders on actual parody. A gamer recently told me RotS reminded him of the Energizer commercial featuring Vader throwing a temper tantrum when his lightsaber flickers off. No amount of creepy and effective make-up work can disguise the absurdity.
There is no substitute for characters you can empathize with. There is no substitute for a compelling story.
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I have read reviewers who say that Mark Hamill over-acted at the end of Empire. That demonstrates to me that some people just don't "get" Star Wars. To them, it is simply a movie...entertaining...something to pass one's leisure time.
It was actually perfect acting. Luke Skywalker had built an image of the father he had never known. He sought to emulate his father in becoming a Jedi. To have that image of his father replaced with the most awful monster prowling the galaxy (who just cut of your hand) would have unquestionably been a shattering experience. Not to mention a suddenly real fear that he really could become such a monster himself.
Those reviewers don't "get" Star Wars. Does Lucas?
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As I was doing re-edits of this review, I debated even posting it. Much of it is negative, I know that, and if people enjoy something why rip on it? And if this is simply a cathartic exercise, why even have it posted?
This review is an analysis: an attempt, by me, to understand.
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And my analysis boils down to a divergence of reality from expectation, that is, my expectations were so COMPLETELY different. Over the 15+ years preceding this new series, I watched these movies a dozen times.
I expected to see Palpatine and Darth Vader hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights, one by one. Instead I got Stormtroopers shooting them in the back, these Light Side Jedi "masters" whose abilities are attuned for "knowledge and defense". "Knowledge and defense" was certainly on display here. I expected to see Yoda train Obi-Wan Kenobi. Instead I got this Qui-Gon Jinn guy, who after his wonderful experiences with Lucas, speculated on not doing movies anymore. I expected to see Amidala flee to Alderaan with Leia (who remembers her mother, though just barely, as very sad).
More than anything, I expected to actually give a damn about young Obi-Wan, Padme, Yoda, and so on, like I did Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie.
I could go on for pages about the many inconsistencies (despite Lucas' relentless Ret-Conning) and flaws, but its really beside the point. As I stated at the outset of this review, this series isn't Star Wars.
So I still find myself asking: how did it happen? I think the answer is two things: Serendipity, and Lucas' gift for spectacle, a gift he has not lost. He has created some of the most visually spectacular scenes in film making. The serendipity of Star Wars is found in names like Kurtz, Williams, McQuarrie, Kirshner, Kurosawa, and Campbell.
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Its over. That is what I welcome the most, that relief. Its like watching Barad-dur's final destruction. I don't feel any joy. I just think to myself, "now I can go home".
I don't have to watch my beloved Star Wars be disfigured and butchered anymore. Yeah, they'll whore what's left of the property for every dollar it can bring in, with syndication, merchandising, and the rest of it.
But I have my original Star Wars trilogy, and I can be content with that (and yeah, Han shoots first).
