Hercules Against the Moon Men

In this nearly historical sword and sandal epic meteors streak out of the sky and crash into the mountains of ancient Greece bringing with them a alien race of villainous silver Owl beings bent on world domination! What, you don’t remember any of the Greek myths, legends, or historians you read about in history class mentioning that? This might have something to do with the fact this is really a Maciste film that only became a Hercules movie after American distributors purchased it.

This title is available in a budget priced version from Alpha Video for $5.95 and as a double feature chock full of extras release from Something Weird Video for $19.99. There was also a version available from Retromedia, which appears to be OOP? Only the Something Weird version is presented in letterbox format. This review is based on the Alpha Video release available through Oldies dot com.

Features:

Listed Running Time: 90 minutes (88 minutes for U.S. video version)

MPAA Rating: Not Rated.

Cast: Sergio Ciani, Jany Clair, Anna Maria Polani, Nando Tamberlani, Delia D'Alberti, Jean-Pierre Honoré.

Director: Giacomo Gentilomo.

AKA Maciste e la regina di Samar/ Hercules Vs. the Moon Men.

If you’re looking for a movie to play during bad movie night or at a pre-Halloween party here’s a not too terrible, for a movie made in 1964, flick that may be worth looking into. Granted the Alpha Video version looks to have been taken from an abused 16 mm source print but there are extras included! For those who don’t know that’s rare for an Alpha Video release. Still it’s not as many as on the Something Weird disc. But you probably don’t care about that…

Compared to studio released DVDs the picture quality is mediocre. There appear to be artifacts that some may feel look suspiciously like the source print was recorded off of television or cable. Either way this was definitely sourced from a video copy I’d guess was intended for television broadcast. That said Alpha Video does a better than average job in presenting this almost forgotten sword and sandal gem. Alas, I wouldn’t really suggest this for Halloween, unless you are planning a movie marathon and need a bit of filler to play between movies to bring the tension down while allowing your guests to get up and stretch their legs between features. Not because the movie is bad, but because it isn’t the sort of movie that you’d expect to see played along with Fright Night, Friday the 13^th, Night of the Living Dead, Waxwork, or Werewolf Shadow.

This is an Italian sword and sandal flick that was re-dubbed and re-titled by American distributors decades ago that is marred by bad video quality and laughable dialogue. It’s so bad it was good enough to have been showcased on MST3K, so you know this is a right rare gem. I’ve heard the Something Weird version is much better, video quality wise, but since it’s initial release to DVD I’ve not seen a copy on the shelves of any of my local brick and mortar stores. Still the Alpha Video version is serviceable.

The Setting: In the dubbed version they are in someplace called Samar, supposedly located in Greece. But, if you pressed me, I’d say the setting is really the guy playing Hercules. I swear that more camera time is spent focusing on him and his muscle flexing antics than anything else.

The Characters: There is, of course, Hercules and an evil Queen who appears to be in cahoots with the Moon Men and a number of beasties. The evil queen has her loyal henchman and Hercules, not to be flippant, has his loyal bulging biceps. But what sticks out in my mind is this one old guy from the beginning of the film. It looks like wardrobe was scrapping the bottom of the costume barrel for his outfit. You wont believe this but, I swear, it looks like he is wearing a Christmas tree skirt around his shoulders!

The Moon Men: I have to admit, guys and ghouls, there’s not a whole lot one can say about actors dressed up like giant silver owl creatures or Styrofoam (?) rubber rock monsters. Aside from: Wow! You just have to see it to fully appreciate it.

Suggested Game Uses: The underlying story here is great for the DM that’s been looking for an idea to use as the stepping stone to create their own off the wall campaign. If you like to mix a bit of B-movie drama with your action adventure then this is perfect for any DM who has fond memories of modules like Dungeonland or The Land Beyond the Magic Mirror. Hercules Against the Moon Men would best be adapted for use as a D20 fantasy or D&D style campaign. However other potential game rule options may include GURPS: Greece, Ancient Lore: The Gates of Troy, The Milenian Empire, or possibly the Maidenheim Campaign Set. Further options, if you can find copies, include out of print games like Hercules and Xena or Mythic Greece: The Age of Heroes, published by West End Games and I.C.E. respectively. Should you be unable to acquire any of those there are also a number of “free” games that can be downloaded that offer a fertile ground in which to plant your idea seeds. Some systems that should be worth looking into are: Heroes of Delphi, MythoSystem, JAGS, or Gods & Monsters.

However, setting pretensions of game usability aside, this old sword and sandal B-movie would be great for an RPG themed movie night. I’d suggest stocking up on microwave popcorn, root beer, and making an event of it. Invite over all your friends and be prepared to make fun, and be made fun of, and have an all around campy evening!

It’s not in black and white but the color is so washed out, and the source print so full of scratches that what little color remains is almost distracting. Which is a bit disappointing. However it is unlikely any major studio is going to release titles like this, so us B-movie aficionados are pretty much stuck with we can find. In the case of the Alpha Video DVD that appears to be a public domain print of an edit probably originally intended for television broadcast. If you play this on bad movie night you might want to have a backup title on hand, just in case those used to the crisp quality of Criterion or Superbit special edition releases complain. (see Negatives below)

Rating: 5 out of 10 golden apples based on video quality of the Alpha Video release.

Worth Renting: Yes. Then again this title is budget priced so you might as well buy it.

Negatives: Where were the dancing girls? Where were the lush sets? Why did I sit through this? Oh, yeah, it’s funny and vastly entertaining! Granted that may just be the dubbing, but then isn’t that the point of why it’s worth watching these old sword and sandal films? Sure the source print may have a few scratches and look a bit washed out, but there’s no additional digital artifacts, like in some releases! So the negatives sort of balance out. That said stay away from those 50 movie packs as they contain major digital artifacting due to compression and, in my opinion, are a near total consumer rip off. True B-movie aficionados will probably want the Something Weird release as that version is listed as offering the best video quality transfer of this forgotten gem.

“C‘mon, is the picture quality really all that bad?” I’m not sure. Remember those silver owl creatures I mentioned? Well some stills I’ve seen show them to be gold. I don’t know if that’s just how the stills and lobby cards were mocked up or if the creatures are really supposed to be gold in color. If they are then this print is really very washed out. Sadly I’ve not been able to find a copy of the Something Weird release to make a proper comparison.

Positives: Hercules Against the Moon Men would be great for a non-horror themed pre-Halloween B-movie bash and definitely something to consider for bad movie nights. Best inflicted on the unsuspecting and those you love. *Evil laughter* Both Borders and Best Buy stock Alpha Video titles in their bargain DVD sections and often have a few titles from Something Weird mixed in with their horror and science fiction titles. If you absolutely can’t find either of those in stock anywhere consider the 50 movie pack a last resort. Issues of digital artifacting aside that boxed set does contain a few gems.