The Vampire Happening

American actress inherits European castle, discovers she looks like her long dead ancestor, who apparently isn’t as dead as she thought, which leads to a comedy of errors in which much cracked proto-Benny Hill hilarity ensues. At least that is kind of what happens in this movie, which is currently available through Oldies.com for $5.95, and was also available from Anchor Bay Entertainment for $29.98. This review is for the Alpha Video title available through oldies dot com.

Listed Running Time: 101minutes (full screen)

MPAA Rating: Not Rated. (Suggested for Mature audiences only.)

Cast: Ferdy Mayne, Betty Williams, Thomas Hunter, Pia Degermark, Ivor Murillo, Ingrid Van Bergen.

Director: Freddy Francis.

AKA Gibissin Wird nur Nichts-- Happening du Vampire.

I should probably inform everyone that this review is based on a review for a book of Vampire movie reviews that I have been compiling for some time. During the course of my review writing I have come to a simple, if not quite fully developed in black and white, conclusion about most Vampire fiction and movies. They tend to generally fit into a narrow syllabus of adjectives ranging from tales that are various degrees of silly but slightly sexy to those played purely for comedic camp value offset by the darkly gothic movies that take themselves all too seriously. While there are also movies that attempt to present gritty stories full of attitude the true contemplative movie that generates an atmospheric style that is capable of transporting us beyond our mundane reality is rare. Yet even rarer is the movie that blurs its focus to the point that you couldn‘t place it into one category than another. Or so I thought until I watched The Vampire Happening!

This movie has been referred to as a “vampire/sex comedy .. inspired by .. the Fearless Vampire Killers” and though it is true this movie does have that vibe it is a pallid reflection of Fearless Vampire Killers. Rather this movies underlying style is more in the vein of Benny Hill meets the Horny Vampires, sans Benny Hill and with vampires that are a bit on the “dropped too much LDS in the sixties” kooky side. In other words the perfect movie for bad movie night, especially during the month of October. Now on to the movie. .

This movie is sexy funny, in a borderline gratuitously campy sort of way, while maintaining a certain style that is more grainy than gritty but nevertheless full of atmosphere with attitude. It’s an odd and quirky attitude, but it’s an attitude nevertheless. However this is also one of those mood movies, the sort of flick that will play on bad movie night that you’ll either really enjoy or want to smack someone upside the head for playing. Granted that may sound like an overstatement, but just wait until you see this movie, stock footage and all!

The Setting: Some unspecified region of Europe, though the dialogue claims Transylvania. Looks more like somewhere in Spain or, more likely, Germany. Mostly it all takes place in a castle and the surrounding town. Very “Ravenloft” in that regard.

The Characters: This movie is borderline insane! There is this sexually fixated, or maybe just frustrated, Monk who sees… well you wont believe this but he sees in the cleft of a tree that which most resembles that portion of the female anatomy sometimes referred to as the navel. Not only that but it‘s animated! (The tree, I mean, not the navel.) Besides that there was a Gay Flight Attendant, Communist Vampire, a Vampire Monk, and there’re even the stock sanguine bumbling psychotic character, or two, that provided moments of near mind numbing incomprehension.

The Happening: Indescribable. It comes near the end of the movie, seems to involve a cross between a giant 70s drug party- complete with undead rock band- and a swingers get together. Did I mention that there is toe sucking and that Dracula flies in by helicopter? No? Well you’ll just have to see the movie then.

Suggested Game Uses: The underlying camp of this entire movie would make for a great spoof adaptation that could easily be used in any horror campaign as a fun change of pace. In fact the entire movie plays like the antics of a wild and wacky weekend role-playing session put to film. Who hasn’t had one of those weekend sessions where everything went totally gonzo mad nutters? Still, it would be fun to actually try to capture this in a written adventure. So why not gift your GM with this, and a not so subtle request to create a campaign scenario out of it?

This is the sort of movie that you will either immensely enjoy for the sheer camp value or want to grab the remote control in a desperate bid to find something more to your rarified entertainment tastes, like the train wreck that is reality TV. But just when you’re ready to reach for the remote to check out what’s on the weather channel be ware, for this flick can quickly reel you back in with an series of bawdy escapades that have you laughing at the so terrible it’s good- because if you weren’t laughing at the non-story you’d be crying- utterly improbable antics unfolding with deliberate pace on screen. Benny Hill this is not. Definitely a movie for mature audiences only. I recommend this for bad movie nights and Halloween parties. Hardcore armchair critics need not apply.

Rating: 7 out of 10 golden apples. (Extras would have been nice.)

Negatives: Looks like this was taken from a VHS source. Those looking for serious movies will find themselves wanting to pimp slap their friends for subjecting them to this flick, so make sure that your arm chair critics know upfront this is NOT a serious horror drama, but a lighthearted comedy spoof. In this regard the blurbs on the packaging are very misleading as they read like the write-up for some Eurotrash sexploitation title. It’s not. This is a horror spoof cum sex comedy. However it’s also very much a period piece, which means its hasn’t aged all that well. Still if you’ve ever watched re-runs of The Monkees, Laugh In, or similar comedy shows from the 70s then you should be able to follow this movie. If not then save your money.

Positives: Can’t beat the price when ordering direct. (When my brick-and-mortar Borders has it in stock they want $7.99 for it.) Don’t recall seeing any obvious digital artifacts, though some of the darker scenes didn’t quite look entirely right, but then you can usually adjust your color and contrast to fix such minor nuisances.