What is this?
This is a review of the first 12 of the 2004 submissions to the 24 Hour RPG challenge. The challenge has been run for the last two years, and has only just finished for this year, and I did a review of all the first years entries that came out on the 9th of August, if you are curious about those.
http://www.rpg.net/reviews/archive/10/10542.phtmlAll the games reviewed here are available for free download from www.24hourrpg.com so check them out if you are interested!
The challenge is simply to complete an entire RPG from nothing more than ideas and your own ability within a 24-hour period. So the work you are looking at here is likely to be short, sharp and interesting, with a varying degree of polish.
Who am I?
My name is Evan. I am a 34 year old, 20 odd years experienced gamer and game designer. I have not played any of the games I am reviewing here, but are reviewing them based on a read of the rules. I have written a game for the 2004 submissions of the 24 RPG challenge, so I have a vested interest in having people look at the site. I have not reviewed my own game in this lot, because it was not one of the first 12… and I am tossing up whether I can be objective enough to review my own work in the next review. Wait and see.
A few notes on my marking system: 1=Below Average, 2=Average, 3 =Good, 4= High, 5= Excellent
I have on occasion indulged myself and added a 0 and a 6. You can figure what those might mean.
Flavor/Concept: Outline of the game concept. The score is pretty subjective. I put my personal opinion of the ideas here.
Formatting: A bit more objective, this lists the style, structure and overall set up of the piece.
Appearance: Again subjective, but with a bit more back up, points are scored for art, maps, and neat tricks with fonts or colors.
Professionalism: Spelling, Grammar, Writing maturity, and tone of the work. I have a bad eye for detail, so scores will not vary much in this one unless the game does exceptionally well or exceptionally badly…
Completeness: How easy is the game to pick up and play from what is presented, how finished does the work feel. Note that “pick up and play” is subjective. Most RPGs are built with a setting in mind, and what I am judging here is how easy it is to pick up the info here and run the game as intended. For universal type games, there needs to be enough info to allow a GM to pick it up and use it with the info at hand only in any appropriate genre.
Mechanics: How appropriate the mechanics of the game are to the game style, how innovative and clever they are and how easy to use and understand. All mechanics are judged without play testing, just from a read through.
Totals: 5/30 F, 10/30 D, 15/30 C, 20/30 B, and 25/30 A.
Note that most of these categories are subjective, so take my grading with a pinch or hand full of salt. I have tried to divide the scoring so that roughly 1/3 of the score is polish, 1/3 is factually relevant and 1/3 is pure opinion. ;)
Once Upon a Time and Long Ago by Jeffrey S. Schecter
Flavor/Concept: Characters are children (princes and princesses) in the fairy tale worlds like those of the Brothers Grimm. This is a game concept that had to happen sooner or later, and has been done remarkably well within 24 hours. I have seen a few people in Australia run games without mechanics to do this kind of thing or use Cthulhu, and by comparison, the system that OUaTaLA (bad acronym) uses is very good at reinforcing the genre. I am going to shave a point here because personally I would have liked to have some solid framework or explanation of how the fairy tale interacts with the adult/mundane world. How do the kids get into the fairy tale? Are they 198h century kids? Or, modern kids in a magic time warp? Is childhood intrinsically magical? Is it all happening in another plane? All or any of these is probably the answer, but leaving this question unasked in the description of the RPG makes my skin crawl. I admit this is a personal taste thing. I need a framework. After this rant: I put this as a High, which I am sure others would grant an Excellent. (4/5)
Formatting: Wide A4 Portrait page style, 24 pages (!), 1056kb, index, logical structure of explanation, one slow loading black and white background image forms the only art/bordering, single minimalist width column. This is clever formatting to make up the length to 24 pages. Color is black and white, easy enough to print (a little harder on the print ribbon than might be), some sections starting at the bottoms of pages because of no art to fill the gaps. Only minor quibbles here. This is high. (4/5)
Appearance: Nice choice of title font, simple font in text, background faded nicely around text (still occasionally irritating in some text areas to see background through text), no art, no tables, it is a very nice background image. Character sheet is good. I am taking a point, mostly for no art and repetition of the image makes it a little hard to slog through visually. (4/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar good, Writing style easy to read. Author talks down to reader a bit, and this actually enhances the experience, since you are going to be playing children. I can’t fault this one. (5/5)
Completeness: What is missing here? Not much. In fact, I am reaching. I have already shaved the only point for my own foibles that I will take off for this one. You could play this very easily, all system elements are described, lots of examples of spells, examples of play, character sheet, setting descriptions, notes for GM on theme… this one has it all. (5/5)
Mechanics: Classic dice to get over difficulty threshold mechanic. There is a nice simple use of counting 6s to create an extended curve for difficulties over 6, innovative. There are cute in-genre rules about tears (frustration level), stars (magic) and hearts (Health), and age vs. innocence. Innovative description about experience (growing up vs. innocence) rules here. (5/5)
Why the hell did this have to be top of the list? It has made the rest of this job much harder on the reviewer. This game rocks, OK!
Overall Mark: 27/30: A+
Dreamscape by Simon Washburn
Flavor/Concept: Characters are members of four classes of dream warrior naturally empowered to fighting demons in the dreamscapes of normal people. The idea is based on novels by Graham Masterton, and a movie with the same name as this game. This is a good idea for a one off game or an ongoing game of a small number of people. The roles are somewhat limited to the templates provided, but this helps to reinforce the setting. I think the limitations of the setting for game style, and the type of abilities that characters can have, are a bit of a railroad, while they are true to genre. I think the genre choice might actually be the problem here. I may be being harsh to give this only a good, but I am sticking to my guns. (3/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 20 pages, 1248kb, no index, touches on setting, then char generation, then rules then a gm section, good structure. There is one fast loading very faded black and white background image across whole document. There is double column with much spacing, which is another example of clever formatting to make up the length. Color is black and white, easy enough to print. Fills in space neatly, although a few pages look sparse, and one or two have imbalance. I would recommend justified text, but the thin width of the columns might have made this look worse… This is high. The most of the point is taken for the lack of index. (4/5)
Appearance: OK choice of title font, simple font in text, background blanked around text, Character art sketchy but very appropriate and evocative, tables a little sparse occasionally, it is another very nice background image, if perhaps a little off tone to the remainder of the art. Character sheet is good. High. (4/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar good, Writing style ok, trips over itself a little in getting ideas out, and lacking overview. A couple of occasions where I had to re-read three or four times to get to meanings, or guess at some assumed knowledge. The work is actually quite dense with idea content, and some of the ideas are out of order. The font of the titles and sparse issues in the formatting, and appearance of the art detract a little from this area too. Still Good. (3/5)
Completeness: This has great playability, with all bases hit, except for an experience system. Nice setting notes, beginning story idea, system descriptions, high for a one off. (4/5)
Mechanics: Random roll stats, points choice for skills. Add stat + skill + dice over challenge number. Fairly standard, with some neat innovation in that your dream self is more powerful if your real life self is weak, thus the random real world stats: Some balance issues in character design, in that some stats are more expensive to buy in the dream world, so it is still ultimately better to roll better, but this is a “meh!” comment. Lots of nice crunchy rules for things, so a very complete mechanic, not original, but for completeness I will give it good. (3/5)
Overall Mark: 21/30: B
Price of Power by Brett M Bernstein
Flavor/Concept: Characters are Heroes or Villains, Super Person types. This is the four-color comics genre. The system has some nice elements in it, and it is generic. The flavor is nice, but not overly original. (2/5)
Formatting: Landscape page style, 20 pages, 1462kb, Teaser, titles page, index, touches on setting, then rules, Char generation and some example characters, good structure. Comic book page structure, arrows point your way through, a little heavy handed, but very good for flow. There is double column with much spacing filled by art, yet another example of clever formatting to make up the length. Color throughout, but mild and very legible, Ok on the print. This is an example of consistent, excellent formatting, my reservations not enough to shave a point. (5/5)
Appearance: Cartoon style and feel, very nice, consistent, relevant art. Good font choices, easy to read, very pretty, character sheet good. Overall this is excellent. (5/5)
Professionalism: Spelling ok, Grammar ok, Writing style ok, this really needs an editor to go over it though. There are odd moments where references in paragraphs are pointing to things not quite right or left hanging. The appearance picks the professionalism up a notch. (3/5)
Completeness: This has very good playability, with some character building complexity. I think this is an issue with any supers system worth it’s salt, though. Includes experience system, conflict resolution system, example characters, some background to world concept at start and character sheet. Would have liked more setting info or play example, but the system is quite self-enforcing. I am going with Good. (3/5)
Mechanics: Points based character building, some interesting innovation with Slants and Ticks to give a character a fundamental concept and progression. This aspect is a bit more challenging, and suffers from a consistency of definition issues (editing would sort this). Not a huge leap from other systems, but very good at reinforcing the genre. (3/5)
Overall Mark: 21/30: B
UGS by Chris Daniel
Flavor/Concept: Generic system that fits inside a manila folder or the back of a GM screen. Not so much a system, as a deconstruction of system. Has the attitude of a joke entry without enough jokes. (0/5)
Formatting: Two portrait style pages, text only. 62kb. Some logical structure in outline of ideas. No index. (1/5)
Appearance: Bland. OK to read and print. (1/5)
Professionalism: The rules clarity is minimal. Colloquialism is rife. Sentence structure is so-so. Spelling is good. (1/5)
Completeness: You could pick up and play this. But there are glaring holes like the black ones at the heart of the galaxy. (2/5)
Mechanics: The two things this offers are a truly even success / failure randomizer (meh) and the concept of every skill having a success and failure mode (hm… there is something in this idea.) (2/5)
Overall Mark: 6/30: F
Irradiated Fur by Shanya Almafeta
Flavor/Concept: Furries of the Future. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles meets Twilight 2000, with more than a helping of Gamma World. Solid idea, a bit been-there-done-that though. (2/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 13 pages, 56kb, no index. Explanation of the statistics usage is deferred to the top of the lists, so not a great logical structure of explanation. There are long lists, and no tables. Topics start at the bottom of pages. This should be Printed and read. I am giving a point for the printability, may be generous. (2/5)
Appearance: Bad choice of font, no art, no tables. (1/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar so-so (iffy in lots of places), bad word choice and explanations (adding the dice is taken to mean adding the maximum roll on the dice for example) Writing style very down to earth, but in spite of that this is not terrible. (2/5)
Completeness: Well, this shines a bit here. 13 pages of stuff! Very dense stuff! Deliberately no XP system, I don’t think this would have been hard to pop in. This reads and feels like the game systems in the 1970s, with huge equipment lists and power lists and stuff. No character sheet, several quibbles, but I am feeling generous because of the amount of stuff in those lists. (4/5)
Mechanics: Different dice determine power level and ability, you choose what dice to assign where. Then you get perks and flaws to balance each other out. Resolution is add dice to get higher number. Not new, works, quite solid and consistent. (2/5)
Overall Mark: 14/30: C
Kaffe Insomnia by Davide Mazzocchi
Flavor/Concept: Near future cyberpunk-esque world where everyone is hooked on a caffene type drug able to be taken in many ways... Includes lots of setting / flavor description (no pun intended). Limited idea but has some interest. (3/5)
Formatting: Landscape page style, 10 pages, 319kb, no index. Setting, then character archtypes, then system then addiction levels…Structure OK. Some blanks left on pages, writing goes into the graphic image, which is weird, and almost works. Page background from MS word, not bad, Nice graphic image repeated on each page. A bit repetitive. Not good for printing, but nice enough on screen. (2/5)
Appearance: Nice font, nice title font, nice image on each page, no tables. Good. (3/5)
Professionalism: Originally written in Italian and translated for submission. I am not going to mark down for grammar or word choice, actually creates an interesting headspace given the game style idea. Spelling good, solid effort. (3/5)
Completeness: Glaring holes here. The system is simple enough to allow pick up and play, but there is not enough done to explain addiction or experience. The setting is nicely fleshed out though, if a little creepily. (2/5)
Mechanics: characters get to roll a number of dice equal to their caffene level. If the highest number plus modifier is over a target number, they succeed. Nothing to write home about here, and a bit broken. (1/5)
Overall Mark: 14/30: C
Blood Royal by Gordon Fay
Flavor/Concept: Characters take the role of royal blooded individuals in a week of Machiavellian maneuverings in a fairy tale court as the possible successors lie cheat and steal in order to be the next Monarch. Nice idea, limited scope is not necissarily a disadvantage in a short game like this. I like it. (4/5)
Formatting: A4 portrait style, 24 pages (how big!), 336kb (how small!), no index. Minimalist title page (works) vignette, then setting, then character statistics and system explanation, then fleshing out the setting and ideas for the game. Overall structure good. Some blanks left on pages. Prints ok, lots of black in art. (3/5)
Appearance: Nice font but too much in all the text, not great to read. Nice title font, Excellent black and white impressionist art (3D effect, sucks me into screen). There are no tables, some maps but appear sketchy. Good. (3/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, grammar good, some of the explanations of the system are fuzzy. Nice style to the piece though. (3/5)
Completeness: Mega points for setting, with lots of fleshing out and great style ideas and ideas for alteration to the ‘rules of the world and succession’. Serious problems with system completeness, no character sheets, but having said that, enough to play with if you are willing to be fuzzy about action resolution. (3/5)
Mechanics: NPCs get no stats, PCs have some base abilities, but most of the game flow is determined through plot consequence actions. The latter bit is interesting, but much more fleshing out of the mechanic is warranted. I think the base method of action resolution is broken, as stats are better the further away they are from 0, positive or negative, and this means that being terrible at something is just as likely to yield a good result as being excellent at it. Giving the dice to someone else to roll does not mean that the dice will behave any differently… unless the game encourages cheating on the dice, which is not implied. (1/5)
Overall Mark: 17/30: C+
Jin-Shiato by Orion Cooper
Flavor/Concept: Characters are adventurers in a magic martial arts gun toting otherworld. Think Feng Shui without the time travel home base thingy. Percentile based system reminiscent of 1970s games (again). One neat concept with Blood, but the mechanics fall down a little in making anything of it. (2/5)
Formatting: A4 portrait style, 8 pages, 51kb, double column, text a bit small and not spaced well enough, no index. Overall structure so-so. Some elements of game handled in a slightly back to front fashion. Prints easily. Don’t like the central border. Chapters are handled in an organized way with numbering, but as there is no index this looses some value. (2/5)
Appearance: No art, no cover page, some tables that read OK, some uneven pages with blanks. (1/5)
Professionalism: Spelling ok, grammar ok, writing ok, all within average parameter. (2/5)
Completeness: Good. Items lists, good internal consistency with abilities, a good scope of abilities. But, many of the abilities do not do more than say “you can do x” where X is a mighty big category, like sorcery. I think this is a case of the idea being bigger than can be managed in the time allowed. It tries to hit all the bases, but introduces too many abilities and too many secondary stats to allow full explanation. (2/5)
Mechanics: Nice mathematics around the base statistics that make sense internally. This is competant work here. Roll dice to get stats, use them to generate secondary abilities, then choose skills and a talent. Somewhat limited in that your talent chooses the type of character you are. The blood concept is interesting as an experience / flavor idea, but the method of gaining it is too hard and random. (2/5)
Overall Mark: 9/30: D
Rings & Rogues by Craig Daniel
Flavor/Concept: Characters are people in the city of Skonn, basically a city in a fantasy world with magic et al. A neat idea of boons is included as a material in game action points. (2/5)
Formatting: It’s a text file, 7k, no index, no established structure. (0/5)
Appearance: It’s a text file! (0/5)
Professionalism: Spelling ok, grammar ok, writing ok, all within average parameter. (2/5)
Completeness: More holes than not. The author did the game in an hour, and didn’t get to do much of the important stuff. I am giving a point for the effort. (1/5)
Mechanics: Additive system, interesting years based idea for skill progression at character creation, points based character creation, cuts off before you get much more. (1/5)
Overall Mark: 6/30: D
Tim Traveler by Clive Oldfield
Flavor/Concept: Characters are actors playing characters in a 1960s tv show. Very post modern. (3/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 20 pages, 90kb, no index, show description, (long, neat) then mechanics and character generation, simple and effective. Single column, numerous blanks, but forgivable, prints easy. (2/5)
Appearance: Nice choice of title/intro font, simple font in text, no art, some big tables at the end, doesn’t try too hard or fail. Character sheets are sparse but so is the system, so works. Feels a little like a script in style, which is cute. (2/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar good, Writing style very easy to read. Very good style of getting into the piece with much color and concept at the beginning. (3/5)
Completeness: Solid setting description, character sheets OK, system description is weak point in this one. Still, I have to give a bonus point for the episode listing. Very neat. (3/5)
Mechanics: very simple lone d6 under stat to get things done. The interesting bit comes in with the meta mechanic of how popular the show is… and I think that the method of managing this is buggy and hard to adjudicate. This really should be the selling point of the idea, and it falls down because it is not detailed or complex enough and requires a lot of recollection after the facts. (1/5)
Overall Mark: 14/30: C
Have-A-Go Heroes by Simon Washburn
Flavor/Concept: Characters are not-so-super heroes. Based on the movie Mystery Men. This is a solid idea for a one off. (3/5)
Formatting: Landscape page style, 20 pages, 144kb, no index, no tables, one wide text column (too wide I think), Border graphic, small art on title page, overview, game structure, characters slotted in part the way through. The feel of the structure is a little all over the place and there are several large blank areas. (2/5)
Appearance: Nice front page, some clip art throughout, simple font in text, colorful border. Character sheets are ok. Text width a little awkward, this is so-so for printing. (2/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar good, Writing style OK, but some concepts not explained well. Overall this is fair work. (2/5)
Completeness: Example characters, character sheets, examples of play, scene descriptions, lots of stuff here. I think that this suffers a little from lack of overview in the system. Still high (4/5)
Mechanics: Scene based dice pool mechanic, modified by drama and desired action. Reinforces the game as mirroring the movie style. Solid ideas, if not particularly innovative. (2/5)
Overall Mark: 13/30: C-
SPAM (Super Powered Awesome Mutants) by Simon Washburn
Flavor/Concept: Characters are super powered awesome mutants. Think Clay-o-rama. No, wait, think Villains and Vigilantes. No, cross them (ew!), and then add some TMNT (ew!). And then some War of the Monsters (but that’s a Playstation game, wtf?). And then leave your brain at home and beat some stuff up! OK, this is aimed at fun. Bias kicks in. (4/5)
Formatting: Portrait page style, 11 pages, 207kb, no index, one LONG table and some smaller ones, one wide text column, small art, no index, short overview, characters generation is the big thing here, some stuff tacked on in front and behind. Page structure not bad actually, art slipped in nicely. (2/5)
Appearance: Nice monster cartoon art throughout, simple font in text. Text width a little awkward, this is ok for printing. (3/5)
Professionalism: Spelling good, Grammar good, Writing style fun and in no way serious. I like it. Not exactly professional, but gimme a break. (3/5)
Completeness: Giant character creation bit, some monster bad guy write ups, some plot (HA!) seeds, good, very able to pick up and roll up silly things. The setting consists of three lines in italics below the title image on the first page. And works. (4/5)
Mechanics: Roll up monsters. Chance determines how dangerous they are. Opposed dice for success, relatively fast mechanic suits style, a little innovative in use of the dice. Then you get to stab each other in the face with lasers. Really should be average. I want to put good. I do. I have added enough for bias to this one though. (2/5)
Overall Mark: 18/30: B-
Well, that is the first dozen. Only 13 more to go, including my own offering. Eeep!
There is a poll for this lot as well in the forums.
http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?t=137390Please vote, to let the designers know if you think their ideas deserve the recognition, and let them know if you want to see the game expanded into a full release. I am sure they will be appreciative of the feedback.
Thanks all. Hope you find this interesting!
Warm regards,
Evan
