Mysteries

From time to time, as you tend to do on the weekend, I pop over to a local strip mall. It has a theatre with a newsstand two storefronts down. Sure the top shelf to the left as you enter the store is a wasteland of obscuring white cardboard coverings and brown paper wrappers as that shelf is full of nothing but porno mags, but perverts have to read to, right? That was rhetorical I really couldn’t care less. No, seriously, in this day and age where it’s hard to not hit a link while surfing Google that’s been subverted by pornmeisters I really don’t know how the print mags stay in business. Besides which it’s darned annoying to have to kneel or bend down to access the bottom shelf, where all the real magazines like Asimov’s and F&SF, Biblical Archaeology Review and Minerva, and of course the two UFO magazines they carry are. But if porno mags are keeping the place afloat who am I to complain? So there I am, looking to see if there’s a new issue of Minerva or Fate or Realms of Fantasy or UFO magazine or whatever catches my fancy when what to my wondering eyes should appear? Why a magazine declaiming on the front page, in at least 72-point font no less, “Life on Mars?” Ok, so it’s not a real attention grabber. That’s probably why those three words were blown up large, as they’d go in an effort to attract the roving eye and snag a chance sale. So there I am, holding the magazine, and a quick thumb through reveals pictures of a mandrake root (?), butterflies, Stonehenge, a snapshot of the Palace of Knossos, and of course the expected photos of Mars. By now you are probably wondering the same thing I was, namely: What in the name of Sherlock Holmes is this magazine all about? It’s certainly not Twilight Zone, and yet in a way it could be a modern incarnation of that magazine sans genre fiction. A quick look at the cover reveals two article blurbs: “The Lost Golden Chain of the Incas” and “Colorado’s Haunted Stanley Hotel”. Generally at this point I’d put the magazine down because, quite frankly, the presentation is about as bland as instant mash potatoes made from spring water without the benefit of salt, pepper, or even a half-way decent gravy! But that darned picture of the mandrake’s root piqued my curiosity. And thus I ended up with my first copy of Mysteries magazine.

What is this magazine called Mysteries about? At a glance I thought it was going to be something akin to an astronomy magazine as the cover depicts a rather larger asteroid split in twain. The cover also promises reviews of books, movies, web sites, music, and an event listing. If the cover weren’t so bland and uninformative about whom this magazine’s target audience is I might have known whether to be intrigued or quietly apathetic. But that picture of mandrake root- in a magazine with pictures of Stonehenge and the Martian surface- just kept nagging me. Made me want to find out why it was there and, as I don’t like to stand around the newsstand in front of the porno mags, I tend to just grab a few magazines and leave. Hmm. Now that I think about it that could be a very astute marketing ploy. But I digress. The articles are a diverse blend of borderline mainstream topics, such as “The Probability of Time Travel”, “Placebo or Passion?: The Case for Aphrodisiacs”, and “Australia’s Mystery Animals”. Then there is stuff that makes you sit up and go, Huh? Such as the article on “Who Killed the Red Baron?” All I was thinking while perusing this article was, And I need to know this why? I suppose that was included as filler to tie into the article about Amelia Earhart. Though I am not even real sure why that article was “noteworthy”.

Criticism: There are a number of small news articles, each taking up exactly one page, all labeled “Noteworthy” to indicate they are news items. Nothing wrong there. Many magazines do this. However most, if not all, of these items appear to be comprised of edited canned copy with the sources listed at the end of the article. Again, many magazines do this, however by comparison, while these articles are technically very well presented, they are about as dull as a rusty knife dug up out the back yard.

Rating: Mysteries is a glossy, though not quite slick in presentation, magazine with typical but not entirely bland three-column layout. I feel it was overpriced and that, given the number of pages dedicated to ads, listings, and classifieds that costing more than magazines that not only look better but also actually are engaging to read. I should rate this a 4, but the articles are only a tad bland, not unbearable to read, so Mysteries receives 5 out of 10 coveted golden apples for effort.

Full Name: Mysteries: Exploring Mysteries from Modern Times to Yesteryear (Vol 2, #2, Issue #5)

Page Count: 76.

Price: $5.95

URL: http://www.mysteriesmagazine.com

If you are a player with a Game Master who likes a good mystery, or even espionage with borderline X-Files style themes, this magazine could potentially be a copper mine resource of ideas. Indeed I would go so far as to say Mysteries is close kin, content wise, to Fate insofar as there are articles touching upon archaeology, fortean phenomenon, and UFOs. For instance Mysteries has sections called Urban Legends, Haunted Heritage, Earth Energies, and Crytpozoo News. Nothing that wouldn’t fit into Fate. However the tone almost seems more mainstream, in format and presentation if not in content, witness the “In the Theatre” section where one can find reviews of Matrix: Revolution and The Haunted Mansion. The book reviews, however, are an eclectic mix of coverage ranging from titles such as “Crop Circles: Signs of Contact” and “The Ghost Next Door” to books like “The Lost Treasure of King Juba” and “The Genesis Race” Also it has a blurb on a full page ad for the magazine itself- it has never made sense to me why some magazines waste a page to try to get you to subscribe, but what do I know- which says: “Mysteries Magazine Will Make Your Blood Flow!” Puh-lease! Maybe if I happen to be holding it while immersed up to my neck in a steaming pile of bullshit, but even then I have my doubts. This magazine is trying too hard to be a little bit of everything, but the one thing it never managed to give me was a sense of what it was supposed to be about. Is Mysteries about archaeology or stories about haunting? Is Mysteries about lost artifacts, planetary studies, or fortean phenomenon? What this magazine really should be called is Questions. In all honesty I feel this magazine is desperately in need of a spiritual and contextual center. Either that or change the name to Unknown. If that sound unduly harsh that’s because it’s meant to. This magazine should rate a 10. It has the content, alas it’s focus wanders, its style is dry, and even when compared to popular newszines Mysteries is too plain a read for what should be far from mundane. Which, oddly enough, probably makes this magazine perfect for Game Masters looking for ideas.