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Conan: The
Complete Quest
The Franchise
Collection DVD
Review by C. Demetrius Morgan
Synopsis
This review covers the Conan: The Complete Quest edition,
region 1 DVD, from Universal. This release contains the 1981 movie
Conan the Barbarian (rated-R) and the 1984 movie Conan the
Destroyer (rated-PG) on a single 2-sided (dual side single layer)
DVD disc. Total running time is listed as 223 minutes.
Summary
Conan
the Barbarian
Conan
the Destroyer
Game
Suggested
System
Initial
Impressions
Appraisal
Negatives
Positives
Resources
Summary top
It is a time between epochs in "an Age undreamed of"
that exists somewhen between the time of Atlantis' drowning and the
years "of the rise of the Sons of Aryas" when "shining
kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the
stars". This darkly mysterious era when cities with names like
Nemedia, Ophir, Brythunia, Zamora, Zingara, Aquilonia, and Hyperborea
were at their heights, here resides the era of Conan, the Cimmerian,
and here is the stage upon which the story is played out. More than
that the movies star current California Governor, and former
Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan the Cimmerian! To
be more specific, while hopefully not giving too much of the movie
plots away; I have summarized the movies below. synopsis
Conan the Barbarian. Nitpickers
may complain that the story portrayed in this 1981 film is not Robert
E. Howard’s Conan, then again neither are the Conans of the
comic books or novels, and yet they are. As a self-contained story
Conan the Barbarian is well done and remains internally
consistent. From beginning to end Conan the Barbarian remains a dark
and gritty adventure of the type one could easily find within the
pages of Savage Sword of Conan or Conan Saga. The movie
opens with a narrator providing an overview and retrospective of
Conan’s life, a tale presented framing a central story. That
central story covers Conan’s life as a child, beginning with
his parents murder by a band of marauders lead by the enigmatic
figure Thulsa Doom as played by James Earl Jones, better known as the
voice of Darth Vader. Action then the shifts to our titular hero’s
harsh years spent as a slave cum gladiator, during which time the off
screen narrator provides a synopsis overview of Conan’s life
during those years. From this narrative overview the action, as most
mainstream moviegoers would call it, picks up when Conan is finally
freed. Left to his own devices he, in archetypal adventurer fashion,
goes a-wandering. Finds a companion slash side-kick, who of course he
has to free from the chains in which he has been left to starve to
death, or be eaten alive by wolves, whichever happens first. Along
the way our two intrepid adventurers learn of, you guessed it, a
great treasure locked away in a temple! Which, of course, leads to
Conan finding a new companion slash lover in Valeria, meeting a
usurper King played by film veteran Max von Sydow (Dune, Judge
Dredd, The Exorcist), gaining a chronicler in the form of
a Hermit-Wizard played by Mako (Pearl Harbor, Crying
Freeman, Highlander 3), all of which helps shape Conan’s
journey of revenge against his parents murderers. top
Conan the Destroyer. Co-starring
Jamaican-born model and singer Grace Jones (View to a Kill,
Vamp), Olivia d'Abo (Point of No Return, Live Nude
Girls, Wayne’s World 2), NBA basketball player Wilt
Chamberlain, and Mako reprising his role as Akiro the Wizard. It has
been said that sequels are often made solely in an effort to cash in
on the popularity of a blockbuster. Conan the Barbarian was hardly
that. Yet here we have a sequel, an oddity considering the first
movie wasn’t really a good set-up for a sequel. Worse,
Destroyer is PG, which may strike some as an obvious shift
away from the gritty mature story of Barbarian to what, sadly,
often befalls fantasy genre films and television series: pandering to
teenagers and young adults. Let’s face it adults are just too
damn demanding, expect quality stories, logical plots, originality,
and above all to be entertained. Well, ok, if we are entertained we
can forgive a lot. Like how Conan didn’t even attempt to make
his saving throw vs. Evil Enchantress Queens. What I learned from
this movie: 1. Conan is the “King of Thieves”. 2. It’s
possible to film a movie almost exclusively using clichéd
dialog and stock phrases. 3. Heroes should never choose the lone ruin
by the lake with mysterious mist enshrouded crystal palace for a
campsite. top
Game: None. This is a DVD.
top
Suggested System: The impact of Robert E.
Howard’s Conan upon the fantasy genre, and by extension to
role-playing games, has been pronounced. It is a rare fantasy
role-playing game that does not contain the archetypal Barbarian
warrior, and if ever there was a prototype of the Barbarian character
class as found in fantasy role-playing games it is Conan. Considering
that the grandfather of role-playing games, Dungeons & Dragons,
included Barbarians that says a lot. TSR even published two Conan
modules specifically for use with AD&D-both using movie stills of
Schwarzenegger as cover art- in addition to an independent Conan
RPG in the mid-1980s. Since Robert E. Howard first
created Conan the barbarian has become a literary and genre archetype
not unlike the movie Alien, both having inspired many
imitators and clones. Yet there have been few official incarnations
of the Conan property as a role-playing game. The first official RPG
carrying the Conan logo came out in 1985 from TSR
as a boxed set, was followed by GURPS
Conan in 1989, various solo
adventures, in 2001 the German language Hyperborea,
2
was published, while the most recent incarnation of Conan as an RPG
title is Mongoose’s
2004, D20 edition, Conan RPG. Amongst the many thinly veiled Conan
clones that have appeared over the years have also been a number of
humorous spoofs, such as Cohen the Barbarian, in addition to some
well conceived barbarian characters in their own right like Sagard
the Barbarian, Fafhrd,
and Thundarr
the Barbarian, 2.
However should you be unable to find a copy of one of the official
Conan role-playing games fear not, there are quite a few fantasy
role-playing game systems that could be used to construct a Conan
themed role-playing game. For instance: Barbarians
of Lemuria, JAGS
Fantasy, Gods
& Monsters, D20,
The
Riddle of Steel, Hursagmu,
and let’s not forget the various quintessential compleat
Barbarian handbooks that have been published over the years.
top
Initial Impressions top
My first impression would probably have to be, “Wow, I
totally forgot about the spewing fountains of blood and orgy scene in
Conan the Barbarian!” Not that the costumes and sets aren‘t
amazing. Though what really sticks out about these movies are the
interaction of the cast and the landscape shots. These were movies
shot on location, for the most part, and it shows. Alas Conan the
Destroyer had a few scenes that were obviously matting effects, and
not very good ones for a movie. True this was the early 1980s
so I suppose that can be forgiven. Too, the sequel is really more of
a watered down campy comic book version of Conan. But it does one
thing very well, and that is portray a typical adventuring party.
Honestly if the sequel does nothing else it will probably remind you
of your first fantasy role-playing experiences. Rates high for
nostalgia. synopsis
Appraisal top
Video enthusiasts will find plenty of reasons to enjoy the DVD in
the numerous extras included while role-players and movie fans will
enjoy the subtle depth of story. That said, I found the DVD for
$14.99 (plus tax) at my local brick and mortar Best Buy. Now that’s
about half the cost of buying the individual DVDs to get both movies.
A plus in anyone‘s checkbook. Be aware that both movies on this
DVD are presented in widescreen, though Destroyer is not in
anamorphic format. synopsis
Negatives: It’s two movies on a
two-sided disc. I don’t like two-sided discs for one simple
reason, if something happens to the disc you lose both movies. But I
especially dislike this format because it isn’t always
disclosed on the DVD packaging, lies of omission and all that. The
packaging is cheaply done; for all that it looks nice.
top
Positives: Conan the Barbarian has a lot
of extras, more than enough to make up for the lack of extras on
Destroyer. The picture quality of both movies is clear and crisp.
Conan the Destroyer is about as campy as you can get without being
offensive. top
Resources: Luckily there exist numerous
pulp adventures, novels, multiple comic titles, cartoons, and various
graphic novels. Which means a gold mine of source material is out
there. Too, there are numerous resource sites related to Robert E.
Howard and Conan to be found on the Internet. A good place to start
is with directory entries like Google’s
list of Robert E. Howard links. However there’s a D20 Conan
fan-site here
with very good, if unofficial, resources covering many of the
original stories. For non-gamers an excellent resource site can be
found here
with full bibliography of Conan novels and early magazine cover art.
top
Happy gaming!
Copyright © 2004 C. Demetrius Morgan
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