Conan: The Complete Quest
The Franchise Collection DVD
Review by C. Demetrius Morgan
This review covers the Conan: The Complete Quest edition, region 1 DVD, from Universal. This release contains the 1981 movie Conan the Barbarian (rated-R) and the 1984 movie Conan the Destroyer (rated-PG) on a single 2-sided (dual side single layer) DVD disc. Total running time is listed as 223 minutes.
Summary top
It is a time between epochs in "an Age undreamed of" that exists somewhen between the time of Atlantis' drowning and the years "of the rise of the Sons of Aryas" when "shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars". This darkly mysterious era when cities with names like Nemedia, Ophir, Brythunia, Zamora, Zingara, Aquilonia, and Hyperborea were at their heights, here resides the era of Conan, the Cimmerian, and here is the stage upon which the story is played out. More than that the movies star current California Governor, and former Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan the Cimmerian! To be more specific, while hopefully not giving too much of the movie plots away; I have summarized the movies below. synopsis
Conan the Barbarian. Nitpickers may complain that the story portrayed in this 1981 film is not Robert E. Howard’s Conan, then again neither are the Conans of the comic books or novels, and yet they are. As a self-contained story Conan the Barbarian is well done and remains internally consistent. From beginning to end Conan the Barbarian remains a dark and gritty adventure of the type one could easily find within the pages of Savage Sword of Conan or Conan Saga. The movie opens with a narrator providing an overview and retrospective of Conan’s life, a tale presented framing a central story. That central story covers Conan’s life as a child, beginning with his parents murder by a band of marauders lead by the enigmatic figure Thulsa Doom as played by James Earl Jones, better known as the voice of Darth Vader. Action then the shifts to our titular hero’s harsh years spent as a slave cum gladiator, during which time the off screen narrator provides a synopsis overview of Conan’s life during those years. From this narrative overview the action, as most mainstream moviegoers would call it, picks up when Conan is finally freed. Left to his own devices he, in archetypal adventurer fashion, goes a-wandering. Finds a companion slash side-kick, who of course he has to free from the chains in which he has been left to starve to death, or be eaten alive by wolves, whichever happens first. Along the way our two intrepid adventurers learn of, you guessed it, a great treasure locked away in a temple! Which, of course, leads to Conan finding a new companion slash lover in Valeria, meeting a usurper King played by film veteran Max von Sydow (Dune, Judge Dredd, The Exorcist), gaining a chronicler in the form of a Hermit-Wizard played by Mako (Pearl Harbor, Crying Freeman, Highlander 3), all of which helps shape Conan’s journey of revenge against his parents murderers. top
Conan the Destroyer. Co-starring Jamaican-born model and singer Grace Jones (View to a Kill, Vamp), Olivia d'Abo (Point of No Return, Live Nude Girls, Wayne’s World 2), NBA basketball player Wilt Chamberlain, and Mako reprising his role as Akiro the Wizard. It has been said that sequels are often made solely in an effort to cash in on the popularity of a blockbuster. Conan the Barbarian was hardly that. Yet here we have a sequel, an oddity considering the first movie wasn’t really a good set-up for a sequel. Worse, Destroyer is PG, which may strike some as an obvious shift away from the gritty mature story of Barbarian to what, sadly, often befalls fantasy genre films and television series: pandering to teenagers and young adults. Let’s face it adults are just too damn demanding, expect quality stories, logical plots, originality, and above all to be entertained. Well, ok, if we are entertained we can forgive a lot. Like how Conan didn’t even attempt to make his saving throw vs. Evil Enchantress Queens. What I learned from this movie: 1. Conan is the “King of Thieves”. 2. It’s possible to film a movie almost exclusively using clichéd dialog and stock phrases. 3. Heroes should never choose the lone ruin by the lake with mysterious mist enshrouded crystal palace for a campsite. top
Game: None. This is a DVD. top
Suggested System: The impact of Robert E. Howard’s Conan upon the fantasy genre, and by extension to role-playing games, has been pronounced. It is a rare fantasy role-playing game that does not contain the archetypal Barbarian warrior, and if ever there was a prototype of the Barbarian character class as found in fantasy role-playing games it is Conan. Considering that the grandfather of role-playing games, Dungeons & Dragons, included Barbarians that says a lot. TSR even published two Conan modules specifically for use with AD&D-both using movie stills of Schwarzenegger as cover art- in addition to an independent Conan RPG in the mid-1980s. Since Robert E. Howard first created Conan the barbarian has become a literary and genre archetype not unlike the movie Alien, both having inspired many imitators and clones. Yet there have been few official incarnations of the Conan property as a role-playing game. The first official RPG carrying the Conan logo came out in 1985 from TSR as a boxed set, was followed by GURPS Conan in 1989, various solo adventures, in 2001 the German language Hyperborea, 2 was published, while the most recent incarnation of Conan as an RPG title is Mongoose’s 2004, D20 edition, Conan RPG. Amongst the many thinly veiled Conan clones that have appeared over the years have also been a number of humorous spoofs, such as Cohen the Barbarian, in addition to some well conceived barbarian characters in their own right like Sagard the Barbarian, Fafhrd, and Thundarr the Barbarian, 2. However should you be unable to find a copy of one of the official Conan role-playing games fear not, there are quite a few fantasy role-playing game systems that could be used to construct a Conan themed role-playing game. For instance: Barbarians of Lemuria, JAGS Fantasy, Gods & Monsters, D20, The Riddle of Steel, Hursagmu, and let’s not forget the various quintessential compleat Barbarian handbooks that have been published over the years. top
Initial Impressions top
My first impression would probably have to be, “Wow, I totally forgot about the spewing fountains of blood and orgy scene in Conan the Barbarian!” Not that the costumes and sets aren‘t amazing. Though what really sticks out about these movies are the interaction of the cast and the landscape shots. These were movies shot on location, for the most part, and it shows. Alas Conan the Destroyer had a few scenes that were obviously matting effects, and not very good ones for a movie. True this was the early 1980s so I suppose that can be forgiven. Too, the sequel is really more of a watered down campy comic book version of Conan. But it does one thing very well, and that is portray a typical adventuring party. Honestly if the sequel does nothing else it will probably remind you of your first fantasy role-playing experiences. Rates high for nostalgia. synopsis
Appraisal top
Video enthusiasts will find plenty of reasons to enjoy the DVD in the numerous extras included while role-players and movie fans will enjoy the subtle depth of story. That said, I found the DVD for $14.99 (plus tax) at my local brick and mortar Best Buy. Now that’s about half the cost of buying the individual DVDs to get both movies. A plus in anyone‘s checkbook. Be aware that both movies on this DVD are presented in widescreen, though Destroyer is not in anamorphic format. synopsis
Negatives: It’s two movies on a two-sided disc. I don’t like two-sided discs for one simple reason, if something happens to the disc you lose both movies. But I especially dislike this format because it isn’t always disclosed on the DVD packaging, lies of omission and all that. The packaging is cheaply done; for all that it looks nice. top
Positives: Conan the Barbarian has a lot of extras, more than enough to make up for the lack of extras on Destroyer. The picture quality of both movies is clear and crisp. Conan the Destroyer is about as campy as you can get without being offensive. top
Resources: Luckily there exist numerous pulp adventures, novels, multiple comic titles, cartoons, and various graphic novels. Which means a gold mine of source material is out there. Too, there are numerous resource sites related to Robert E. Howard and Conan to be found on the Internet. A good place to start is with directory entries like Google’s list of Robert E. Howard links. However there’s a D20 Conan fan-site here with very good, if unofficial, resources covering many of the original stories. For non-gamers an excellent resource site can be found here with full bibliography of Conan novels and early magazine cover art. top
Happy gaming!
Copyright © 2004 C. Demetrius Morgan