The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian

I bought this because I had recently purchased the Mongoose Conan RPG, and was fascinated by the little excerpts of the original stories in it, (Basically just a paragraph here and there, tied in with what the rules were explaining at the moment), and because that didn't have much in the way of coverage of Conan's story (other than very vaguely) or the flavor of the world.

I had read several of the so called "pastiches" of Conan, and frankly, never had been terribly impressed (but had borrowed them from the library as I had nothing better to read). But I never had read the original Howard stories. The library didn't have them.

So, I went to Barnes & Noble, hoping to see if they had any. And they did. A fairly large book reasonably priced. Luckily, I had exactly enough money to buy it, so I took it as an omen, and got it.

The introduction is a great well, introduction to Howard and the Conan stories, and their history. Apparently those "pastiches" sort of re-write Conan's history. An author takes one of Howard's Conan stories, and writes it over as novel, usually ignoring the details of plot of the story, but generally keeping the location and some of the characters. Very strange - I've never heard of that done before. (At least in print.) So I was familiar with a lot of the characters in this, and so it was somewhat confusing at first. But the stories themselves are quite good.

This contains 13 Conan stories, apparently in the order they appeared in publication, not chronological order, plus about 150 pages of "Miscellanea". The first story is Conan as king of Aquilonia, the next is Conan as a young adult, there really doesn't seem to be any pattern.

I'm not sure how likable a character Conan is. When he's younger, he's kind of a jerk. For instance, in one story, after being saved by the captain of a pirate ship, he immediately plots to kill him. Not exactly honorable, even to a barbarian. But the older Conan, especially when he's a king, seems like a decent enough sort.

One thing he's not, though, is a "Mary Sue". While apparently he was something of the author's alter-ego, Conan is not the sort of character who is all-powerful, all-knowing, super-keen that makes you want to vomit. He's not Drizzt or Elminster. He's very much human. Tough, yes, to the point of being a bad ass. But not invulnerable, and not insufferable.

The types of stories are fairly varied. Yes, to a certain extent, it follows a formula of Conan meets bimbo, Conan and bimbo meet some sort of nasty monster (usually some form of ape-man), then Conan and bimbo leave. But beyond that trope, there's a story that is almost a mystery ("The God in the Bowl"), one that is fairly Machiavellian ("Rogues in the House", which actually sounds like a WB sit-com), a few that are told from the point of view as a thief, and a few other forays into something different. Really, only the stories near the end of the book tend to be overly formulaic, apparently Howard was in need of money and had to crank them out quickly(according to the introduction of the book, anyway).

While sometimes forced to crank out stuff, Howard was actually a top notch writer. Evocative, and good at describing action. I would compare him to Louis L'Amour. His dialog could be better, especially his female characters. Belit, apparently Conan's one true love, always seems to speak in sentences that end in a !, and sound like they were written by Fabio. For instance, "Take me and crush me with your fierce love!". But for the most part, his words are a pure joy to read.

Howard also seems to have some pet words, like Lovecraft did. Most notably, "Thews". That word appears in this book more times than I have anywhere else, combined. (Though I'm not sure I've seen "Thews" anywhere else, except for a friend in college from New Jersey who had a lisp. And he just said it...)

There's a lot of misc. material from Howard. Maps of the Hyborian age (drawn over a real world map, so you can get a great idea of what is where), first drafts of some stories, plot lines, character names, and an essay by Howard on the "Hyborian Age", which also appears in the Conan RPG from Mongoose.

The last major feature of a book is a long essay by Patrice Louinet (no, I haven't heard of him either), which tries to explain where Howard stole his ideas from. This has some interesting info, but the writer is somewhat arrogant, and he tends to make jumps of logic, assuming his guesses are facts. Still, it provides sources you can research for more inspiration.

The book is illustrated with lots of tiny pieces and the occasional full page. However, the art style seems to be more akin to Prince Valiant, not what I think of as Conan. He's almost got a bowl haircut in some pictures, making him look more like Conan the '60s Boy Band Musician than Conan the Barbarian. Still, the full page illustrations seem to be in a different style, and are more what I think of as Conan.

This book is really a must buy for any Conan the RPG GM, providing essential flavor that was missing from the Mongoose RPG itself (in my opinion). Besides the stories themselves, the other background information is invaluable, especially the maps.

Actually, a close reading of the stories shows why the Conan RPG from Mongoose was designed the way it was. At least many of the design decisions made in it. For instance, how armor absorbs damage, as opposed to regular d20/D&D, where it makes it harder to be hit. Time and time again in the stories, Conan (or his opponent) is struck by a weapon, but saved by his armor.

It also shows the Conan RPG's weapon finesse, that is, armor being avoided by a skillful and sneaky attacker.

It also demonstrates that hit points are not a bad way to represent the stories. In the first Conan story, Conan goes up against 20 opponents and survives, killing most of his opponents. He takes a lot of tiny wounds.

A closer inspection of the magic in the story is also possible. There's a lot of sorcerers in this book, and none are really what I would call a "scholar". So I think that point from my review of the Mongoose Conan RPG still applies. But the actual abilities seem spot on.

Still, besides the insights it gives you into the Mongoose Conan RPG, the stories should be enjoyable by any fantasy or action fan. A