CTV/Paranormal
Paranoia
West End Games
[sterling]12.50 - (approx.)
120pp
Good morning trait.... that is, good morning loyal citizens. This is your
friend, the computer speaking.
Today I want to tell you about some new adventures you might have in wonderful
Alpha Complex, but only if you are tough, loyal Troubleshooters.
"Adventures" imply that something is wrong here in wonderful Alpha Complex.
Anyone believing this broadcast is traitorous and should report to their
nearest termination centre immediately. Anyone not believing this broadcast
believes the Computer to be lying. Therefore they should report to the nearest
termination centre immediately.
Listen up, all you remaining loyal citizens: there may be a test later. These
wonderful new advent- missions - include infiltrating Alpha State on behalf of
your friend the Computer, where you will discover just how different the
traitorous scumbag commie citizens of Alpha State are from the loyal citizens
of our own dear Alpha Complex; journeying to Class-L Alpha Complex, outside
Alpha State.
Clones believing rumours about outside are traitorous and will be terminated.
Clones disbelieving the computer are traitorous and will be terminated.
Anyone suggesting that these events ramble on a bit, shove any old thing in
even if it doesn't really fit the theme and don't have a climax to call their
own are definitely traitorous and will be terminated as soon as they have
finished this review.
And anyway, once you get through serving the computer there, there's another
three ad - sets of events - to go.
Clones noticing similarities between the events about to be described and Old
Reckoning television have been listening to rumours. Or they are part of a
secret society. In any event, you know what's going to happen to them. And if
you don't, you haven't been listening. Not listening is punishable by
termination.
Listen up, loyal citizens. This may be your last chance to acquire additional
briefing points. In the first of these I'm-not-calling-them-adventures, you
serve the Computer by infiltrating communist-like goings on in Junior
Programming. This will require the services of Junior Troubleshooters (please
don't say there's no such thing: you know what will happen to you, and the
termination centres are overworked today).
In the next, your services are required to test the defences of Camp STG-13,
where all those nasty traitorous scumbag commies are kept prior to termination.
Clones failing to enjoy this mission are undoubtedly traitorous. Clones
suggesting that such a free form setting may be difficult to control are
undoubtedly traitorous. Clones found wandering off to look for something to
read are undoubtedly traitorous and will probably be sent out to get the
pizza.
Finally, loyal citizens, you may be given the chance for a little R&R and
vid-glory. Yes, if you complete all your missions successfully, you will be
given the chance to compete in Annihilators, you lucky, lucky clones.
One final thing. Clones suggesting that certain references - e.g. HOE-G-UNN's
Heroes (later HOE-G-UNN's Traitors) - aren't funny, are either showing their
extreme youth, or they're implying THERE IS SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE OF ALPHA COMPLEX,
where these references would make sense. But don't panic. Simply laugh
manically all the way through. Even when you don't get the joke. That'll fool
them all. Except me. And I'll just order you to the termination centre.
This has been the voice of your friend the Computer. Have a nice day, loyal
citizen.
Review by LIZ-E-HOLIDAY
Product terminated by HOBB-E-GAMES
