When I reviewed issue 31 of Games Workshop's magazine of 'Tales of Fantasy and Adventure' I came to the conclusion, after some tightarsed quibbling about the price, that
Inferno! was
almost worth reading. The average issue contains one good story, two merely decent stories, and the rest are typically dross. It's as if the editor, Marc Gascoigne, went out of his way to maintain this level of mediocrity lest the stars fall from the firmament, day become night, and up become down, so finely was it balanced. Issue 32 is the first issue with new editor Christian Dunn at the helm, and hopefully he can improve things.
As far as the typical content of the stories, I'm going to be lazy and egomaniacal and quote myself: "The focus is on action and adventure, pulp stories with blood and battles and vicious twists, but the occasional more thoughtful piece sneaks in." That sums it up, so without further ado here's what the latest issue has to offer.
On Mournful Wings, by Si Spurrier, is the story of twin brothers who are subjected to a trial of ordeals to judge their worthiness to enter a Space Marine chapter called the Doom Eagles. I didn't think it was possible for Games Workshop to come up with a lamer name than 'Blood Angels', and I was wrong. Anyway, the Doom Eagles believe that everyone is dead already and just doesn't know it yet -- life is cheap and meaningless, and they don't mind if a bunch of kids get killed trying out to make their team. Why, with such a depressing outlook, they go on to fight against the enemies of the Empire of Man is not explained. Perhaps future Doom Eagles stories will flesh out the chapter's philosophy, but like the despairing characters in this story I don't care. The idea of an existentialist boy's own adventure tale is intriguing, but this story is not.
A Good Thief, by Simon Jowett, is set in the Old World. The protagonist, Villon, is a poet and a thief who makes his living by whichever happens to be easiest in his current situation. The problem with having a poet as a central character is that we expect to hear some of his work. In A Good Thief we are teased with the openings of rhymes but never hear the full deal; I can only assume that Jowett didn't think he was up to the task. Villon is forced into giving up poetry for theft once again to steal a mysterious object which his skills make him perfectly suited for, and twists and action follow in due course. There are numerous attempts at humour which give the piece an oddly light-hearted feel without actually being laugh-out-loud funny, but without grating either. I'm curious to see is Simon follows this story up and gains more confidence in his ideas.
The Miner's Tale is part of the Tales of the Ten-Tailed Cat series of comics, each set in the same Talabheim inn. It's a slight tale, running to only five pages, about a dwarfish patron who inherits an old mine which isn't as empty as it seems and there's an amusing twist in the tail. It's written by Jonathan Green who has been responsible for some atrocious writing in the past but does okay here, although he must have gone out of his way to put the bold-type emphasis on exactly the wrong word every fifth sentence or so. Roman Sydor's artwork is crisp and amusing.
Graham McNeill's Payback appears to have been written immediately after a Judge Dredd binge topped off with a viewing of Total Recall. It's a hardboiled noirish sci-fi story about an arms dealer who shoots some people and gets shot and shoots some more people. It reads like there was an explosion at the cliché factory which McNeill was fortunate enough to capture on paper. The very act of writing about it is depressing me and I'm going to stop.
Rest for the Wicked is written by James Wallis. For those of us still wearing black armbands in mourning for Hogshead Publishing this story is a tiny ray of hope, appearing to be the first chapter of an ongoing work by the head of Hogshead. It's an urban fantasy mystery, like the excellent Brother Dieter stories from earlier issues, and it features Dirk Brenner and Karl Johansen, two members of a secretive organisation called the Pallisades who protect the nobility of the Empire. In this story they uncover an assassination plot against an Elector in the city of Altdorf and race against the clock to prevent it. It has everything you could want in a Warhammer story, deceit, moral dubiousness, black humour, and a sense of the larger world outside the constraints of the plot that good roleplaying scenarios should emulate.
The artwork which introduces each story has a tendency to contradict the details of the writing; a character described as having his torso disintegrated and body torn to pieces appears relatively whole, a naked mutant prostitute is given underwear, a character who escapes by leaping out a window is shown escaping by running down a street -- don't the artists have time to read the stories? If the pictures aren't related to the words then GW may as well use stuff from whatever supplement they're hawking at the moment, like they do with the cover each issue.
To sum up: Rest for the Wicked is good, A Good Thief and The Miner's Tale merely decent, the rest dross. The stars remain fixed, day and night alternate regularly, up is up and down is down, and Inferno! is still only almost worth reading. Perhaps a slower publication schedule would help.
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