"Know this. I am the last line of the great teacher, Grodorion. I am the final heir to the throne of Anhelm. I am the leader of what little hope we have. Therefore, realize that I speak with authority and wisdom. Consider yourself wise only if you read and believe my words."
MetalMan's Review of "Eldritch Ass Kicking" by Nathan Hill
The Premise:
The kingdom of Anhelm was once a bastion of peace and prosperity until ancient evils drove their powerful wizards mad. They wrecked untold destruction until neighboring kingdoms, fearing for their lives, banished the kingdom into another plane. These mad displaced wizards still continue their battles to determine the fate of Anhelm for good or ill. Mystic Ages Online offers a
free version for download if you'd like to try before you buy.
What Ya Get:
Eldritch Ass Kicking (EAK) is a twenty-four page PDF file. You will need the Adobe Acrobat reader program or a similiar third-party program capable of rendering the PDF file format to make use of the game.
Cost:
EAK will set you back $5.00 USD and is available through RPGnet Mall.
Appearance:
EAK is technically a forty-eight page game due to it printing as horizontal half-pages (two game pages per actual piece of paper) which is often called digest size. Personally, I'm split on my feelings about this which basically means that I can deal with it. There is only one interior illustration on the character sheet of a wizard used as a watermark.
The Game:
The real joy of EAK comes when you read through the rules and start to consider the opportunities that it presents for gaming. Its extremely dual-natured. You can treat it as an extremely tongue-in-cheek fantasy action-fest or you can actually use it for far more serious roleplay sessions. It easily accomplishes both. Do you know a card gamer or someone else (maybe a young adult) that you've wanted to try to ease into tabletop gaming? EAK could be your ticket.
Character creation is simple and quick. After coming up a general concept and name, you then purchase twelve points into three attributes: Speed, Endurance and Concentration. From these three attributes, you derive the character's Movement, Life Points and Focus. You then recieve twenty-five points to divide between the four skills: Earth, Air, Fire and Water. Next you finalize the character with a Word of Power (a word that gives you a bonus to your rolls whenever you invoke it during play), a description of the character and their major and minor life goals. If you're going for a simple game (combat exclusively) and want a quicker chargen, you can always strip out character concept, description and goals. These are primarily only going to be used if you go for more of a story-oriented game or just want the flavor.
Task resolution is determined by rolling 2d10, adding in any relevant skill score and getting a bonus or penalty based on a magical and/or situational modifier. This final total is checked against a target number. The degree of success is determined by the amount at which you exceeded the TN. The rules recommend a TN of 15 for uncontested actions and the TN for contested actions is the opposing character's total.
Combat is likewise easy. Initiative is determined by rolling 2d10 and adding in the Speed attribute. Play goes from highest total to lowest. Attacks can be one of three types: a normal attack, a preventive attack or a mega attack. Preventive attacks prevent another player from acting this round. Mega attacks take a penalty to their attack but, if successful, deal tripe damage. However, each character also has three types of defense: evading, parrying or blocking and counterspelling. If you parry or block, you get to add in your appropriate magical skill. If you counterspell (and take the penalty to your roll), you get the chance to turn the attacker's own spell against him! Combat can definately involve a little bit of strategy when dueling which is far more refreshing that just unleashing against the other target to see who runs out of Life Points first.
Character empowerment is touched upon through defeating opponents and stealing other's Words of Power when they are defeated in single duels. Guidelines are also provided for awarding resolutions to life goals as well as adding new ones. Rules and associated quests are provided for binding a demon to the character to boost their power. The pitfalls of attempting such a maneuver are also addressed as is success.
What follows next is the expected "gear" section. It starts off with detailing the three types of magical constructs (Battle, Defense and Simple) that are available to the player as well as their associated Focus cost and benefit to the PC. Next up are magical artifacts that can be used to enhance the character in various manners. These are typically obtained by looting them off of the smoldering corpses of your adversaries or questing for them in the ruins of Anheim depending on the type of game you're using. The Wizard Eating Bush of Talbou deserves special mention for just being funny. No rules are given for characters making their own magical items which is a bit of a letdown but I'm guessing that the destruction of Anhelm and the chaotic life that most wizards are having to live now make item creation difficult.
The Gamemaster section deals with some general GMing tips as well as how to construct a EAK adventure. There is extremely little in this text that any experienced GM who makes up his own adventures isn't going to know but it is written in an engaging manner. Also included are guidelines for creating NPC villains of both lesser and greater power than the PCs and suggestions for constructing various normal and unnatural beasts for opposition.
EAK wraps up with two appendixes and the character sheet. Appendix A details four premade NPCs and three of the more notable taverns remaining in Anhelm that are frequented by those of a mystic bent: The Tavern of Magick & Mystery & Madness, Cudgel's Place and The Arcane Bar & Grill. Appendix B is a full EAK adventure called "The Tome of Devilish Delights" for beginning characters.
Overall Impression:
EAK is probably one of the most successful attempts at irony in a game that I have seen in some time. The wisdom and pretentiousness of wizards who not only were responsible for destroying everything around them are now the only ones who believe that they can "save" Anhelm despite the fact that the bastards can't even have a civil conversation amongst themselves. This is even more enriched when you can either play up the comedic aspects with one style of play or use it as a more lurking post-apocalyptic dread for the more serious games.
Don't let the seeming simplicity of the rules confuse you. EAK is a very open and robust system. If you absolutely must have a rule for everything, EAK is not for you. If you want a freewheeling game that a creative GM can run with, I would recommend that you give it a look.
MetalMan signing off.
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