CALL OF CTHULHU (20th Anniversery Edition)
By Chaosium Inc.
Written by: Sandy Peterson, Lynn Willis
'The Call of Cthulhu' by: H.P Lovecraft
Intro
The recent re-relese of Call of Cthulhu (CoC) has been somewhat eagerly anticipated by many. The mere thought of CoC leads many into fits of gibbering, maniacal laughter befitting of a Dark Elder God. Who can resist the thought of imminent death? The hearty smell of a freshly incincerated comrad? Or perhaps the slow spiral into madness?
However, in many respects, the anniversy edition is nothing more than a great big d100 of sanity loss.
1.
Their sneaky alright, those Chaosium boys. When I first approached the monster of a book, it soon became apparent that the lush green cover had been bound shut by a healthy dose of shrink wrap. Hence inspection of the product prior to purchase was impossible.
Nonetheless, I was blown away by the sexy hypnotic nature of the red Elder God sign on the front and the quasi-leather cover. Interest raised I inspected the price- ye gods man ! Its enough to send an investigator to the brinks of madness! A whopping $190 price tag knocked me off my feet! After being helped up by Stu (storeowner and ever faithful sidekick*), I immediatly deduced that the book should immeditally be bought.
Why you ask? Elementary. A price tag of this kind must surely confer a product of such quality as never before seen. I left the shop with a smile playing on my lips, eagerly awaiting the surprise and horror that lies within.
And horror it was my friends. Alas. For such a lengthy price tag, one would think that the pages within would be made of gold leaf, with pure silver writing and blessed by the dark gods themselves. But no, mere paper met my gaze. Reeling back in pure shock it soon became evident that the texture was abhorrent and surely fit only for the dunny out back!
A more intimate inspection revealed yet more hideousness, the kind that would send even the most hardened investigator to the brink.
2.
CoC, to me, has never been the greatest game at the best of times. To me it is more of a game that started a trend. A trend in which people actually role played. It was a game that gave the players an option not to play Dungeons & Dragons (and more importantly) got them interested in a different genre- horror.
However, CoC is past its 'Used By' date. There are other more superior Horror games out there and, quite frankly, CoC is just too hammy. Everyone knows CoC. Nobody is frightened of the Elder Gods. Theres a freakin' Christmas Plush Cthulhu Doll at the local gaming store for Nyarlathotep's sake! (oops, i shouldn't use his name in vain).
That aside, the language stunk like musky scent of a recently deceased Mi-go. The writing is hideously bland. You just can't be arsed reading it. Its like wading through a swamp. Its like being in a crap dinghy, in the middle of the amazon, padling against the tide, while piranhas nibble at your oars.
I assumed that, since they were 'remastering' the old book, they'd at least improve the language used. Spice it up a little, at a little zang. As it happens, they did a Star Wars on us. Tuned up the sound, but left Mark Hammill in.
When I finally got to the premade adventure at the end of the book I just about gave birth to Cthulhu spawn! The horror! the horror! They had inserted so called 'classic' adventure. Come now fella's I could pull a better adventure out of my pink puckered butthole!**. The first adventure is an improbable, sordid and hopeless little tale about some mad ghost. Yawn. Next we have a clunky little adventure which goes through the same tired old routine- PCs find book, accidently summon Greater Elder God etc. etc.
Been there done that. My suggestion: the players discover an old man dying of leprosy. Each day a limb falls off and each day the limb is consumed by mad raging pigs. As the pigs eat his body the grow stronger and stronger- until one day UBER OVERLORD SWINE is created! Cthulhu shows up and the two of them have a little tea party.
Ahem.
Now about the artwork. Not too impressed. The folks at Chaosisum simply rehashed old pictures from previous supplements and books rather than employ a new illustrator. Pity too, since it would have made a vast improvement. The pictures, to me, gave too much away. We want to be frightened by the creatures! Not rolling around like dentists on nitrous oxide! Now What would Edgar Alan Poe say? Hmm?
3.
Luckilly its not all bad fellow adventurers, like panning for gold one can eventually attain a source of metal, however small, and perhaps even sell it for more than its worth. Such is the case with CoC limited edition.
Apart from the inspiring cover, the very weight and size of the book is worth mention. One can simply place it on the gaming table and announce that it is the Malleus Malefacrum- or some similar nonsense. In other words the book itself makes an excellent playing aid. At worst one can use to club unruly players! Joy!
Naturely H.P Lovecrafts short story- The Call if Cthuhlu is an excellent tale. This short story is perhaps the only good piece of writing in the book. Although the other pages make an excellent remedy for insomnia.
In addition to all of this, the writers have also inserted a hideous amount of extras into the book. The worthless, substandard adventures are one. But also, more importantly, is a comprehensive list of all the spells, monsters, equipment and extra rules found in various sourcebooks.
Conclusion
As I mentioned earlier- the game is being sold for more than its worth. Chaosium have chucked the book together with only a momentary thought and jacked the price up to astronomical proportions. Its simply not justified. On the other hand it is the most comprehensive CoC book out on the market and perfect as a handy GM guide.
Now fellow investigators, I must retreat into my basement lab where I shall store my copy in a pressure sensitive, sealed, temperature controlled room. Its too freakin expensive not too!
The horror! the horror!
(* If stu ever read this i'd soon find myself in a dumpster.
**I think a more accurate picture would be hairy, perhaps flaky. But definately not pink. No.no. Mustn't misinform, the poor innocent reader.)
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