This pair of perfect bound books have been eagerly awaited by fans of "The Knights of the Dinner Table" (KoDT) comic, allowing players to use the same system they see each month in glorious line-art-o-vision. This is not a straight forward pair of books to review. On one hand you have a customised amalgam of AD&D 1 & 2 , on the other it is a parody of games, gamers and gaming companies. Of course if you never heard of "The Knights of the Dinner Table" (KoDT) then the whole parody thing might pass you by.
Simply put the Knights are the gaming group from hell, three of the five of them are the worst kind of rules-lawyering, decision challenging (/"What do you mean my 1st level thief gets killed by an 80 foot fall onto spikes. He was holding that 2 shield he stole"/), advantage weaseling hack'n'slashers ever to afflict a GM whilst the publishers of their favourite RPG, HackMaster, Hard Eight are exploitative, have no respect for their players or for consistency . Headed by Gary Jackson, Hard Eight is protective of their product line decrying any "unofficial" modifications or clarifications of their rules. If the player
perceives inconsistencies or errors then the fault is the player's, not Hard Eight's. This is important as the "voice" used in the text is of Mr. Jackson who gives full vent to his opinions.
*/ "..there are certain individuals who are of the opinion that a great many rules in HackMaster are contradictory, flawed or even broken. Rubbish!!
"Let me say it again... There are no contradictions in HackMaster - only apparent contradictions... If you run across a rule that you feel is in contradiction with another rule you should remind yourself that it is your mastery of the rules that is deficient."/*
HackMaster is, as the name suggests, a game where combat is not only a major thing it is effectively the only thing, Actually that's not strictly true, we are told that "combat is not the most important thing, winning combat is." Anyone familiar with the KODT knows that the players are more interested in the e.ps and power that combat bring them and that they will use any trickery, player-only "advantage codes"and obscure rules to achieve them and this seems to be entirely within the spirit of the game. In one of the contradictions (that don't exist, obviously) players are told that the "To-Hit" charts and the monster descriptions and statistics are purely the province of the GM and that players should not see them and yet, later, in the Combat section ...
*/ "While the GMs guide is technically off-limits to players, I cannot recommend more strongly that you buy a copy and GM one time for your little brother, nephew, mom or somebody (thus making you a GM at least temporarily). This will give you access to the to-hit tables. Memorize them... Of course you will have to memorize all of the monster's Armor Classes as well... You must know your enemy to defeat your enemy"/*
The rest of the satire is of this level, the game is handled, apart from a few Kenzer related details, as a real game from a real company, so the humour is aimed at the long-term gamer, particularly one who has at least been gaming since TSR's heyday in the late 1970s and early 80s. In particular those gamers that remember company's tirades against variant rules and non-official products and so this will bring a wry smile rather than an uproarious guffaw.
The gentle satire extends into the monsters of the Hacklopedia. Just as AD&D became bloated with ever more monsters and sub-types of monsters, humourously illustrated. The picture of the giant Beaver gnawing on one warrior whilst despatching another diffidently
with the upswing of his tail will cause your players not to snigger at the phrase "you see a Giant Beaver in front of you" ever again(*). Well. Maybe they'll stifle the laugh. The humour continues in the nature of some of the deranged creatures on HackMaster's
"Garweeze Wurld", the "Incessant Babbler", the "Attention Getter" (who uses his powers of distracting parties in a symbiotic relationship to allow other monsters to kill them whilst their backs are turned) and the "Carrion Camel".
Kenzer have even gone a stage further in allowing players to start meansuring themselves against other players. Not by the skill and experience of their characters, but by actually gaining points as members of the "HackMaster's Players Association" by attending conventions and playing in tournaments. Of course unofficial tournaments only gain half points. However by going this far perhaps Kenzer should be examined for practices a little too close to that of the domineering Hard 8, whose company motto, "What do you
want to Hack today?", is eerie similar an obvious reference to the motto of MicroSoft Windows. I'll say nothing more for fear of lawyers.
In the comic they killed off (albeit possibly only temporarily) Gary Jackson, and then dedicate this "4th edition" Hackmaster to him. The rulebooks the are releasing just now are the *CORE* system. What they reckon the minimum you have to have to play. I'm aware that a player could just have the Player's Handbook but that one book is not playable. Key elements, such as the To-Hit tables, are only available in the
Gamesmasters book [not out yet, ah memories from long ago with a 1st ed PHB and the DMG not out yet], and remember, the players book is 400 pages long, larger than many complete RPGs. In addition the Player's book there is the as yet unreleased Gamesmaster's book and the Hacklopedia of Beasts. Except that later comes in *8* volumes [/I emailed Kenzer *twice* to check/] and, rather than produce a core volume to get you started then specialist beasties afterwards, the volumes are released in alphabetical sections, so the GM running a low level undead adventure, say, will
need two volumes, the one that has skeletons in it and the one that have the zombies. This means that the *CORE* books alone will cost about £150/US$220 to buy, more
expensive than D&D 3rd edition, which seems extraordinarily expensive for a satire. My only hope is that the Gamemaster's guide will contain the bare bones information on monsters for the GM on a budget.
The books are professionally and clearly presented and the internal illustrations are workmanlike but Jolly Blackburn’s (creator of the Knights) work does not seem to appear though some of the individuals in the illustrative diagrams seem to have inherited the nose of the KoDT’s long suffering GM, B.A. Felton.
I also noticed that the Hackmasters Players Association is to have a magazine, the "Hackjournal" for which submissions earn its members points. Nothing wrong with that but *instead* of taking only first print rights, a standard term with professional
magazines that allows the author to use the article elsewhere after a period of time, they are to become the total property of Kenzer and Company. Considering that there is no suggestion that HMPA points can be redeemed for anything other than kudos this means that authors are assigning their work to Kenzer for free to do with whatever they want. Presumably this means printing it again and again with no recompense to the author. *VERY* Gary Jackson.
Jolly Blackburn has stated that they were trying to produce a playable game which, no matter what your opinions on AD&D are, this is, but the use of the parody to deliberately structure the release in such a way as to garner the most revenue from their fans is
inexcusable, and the satire itself might be lost on newer gamers and those not familiar with the "Knights of the Dinner Table" who, interestingly, do not make an appearance in the game illustrations. It's funny, but not that funny. I'd recommend "The Munchkin's
Guide to Powergaming" and the "Random Polearm" tables in the back of the "Murphy's Rules" with a second hand copy of AD&D as a cheaper alternative.
Colin D. Speirs
(*) OK it's actually a "Great, red maurauding beaver" but c'mon...
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