"What is a human but a bundle of memories?”
-Alassra the Symbol, Elminster in Hell
On odd turn of phrase considering the source, namely the Symbol and one of the Chosen. They – the Chosen that is – are human in only the strictest of terms. In more general terms – namely, in terms useful on a daily basis to player characters and characters in novels – the Chosen are vehicles for divine wrath, mortals made into angels.
Digression aside, “Elminster in Hell” is the latest offering from Ed Greenwood, creator of the Realms in general and the Chosen – El included – in particular. This story, an anthology of sorts, follows on the heels of “The Summoning,” by Troy Denning. In that book, Netherese shade wizards battled Elminster. In so doing, a gate to hell was accidentally opened. Elminster went through the rip to repair it from the other side.
And thus went to hell.
“…yet I also nurture and defend and treat with kindness.”
-Alassra the Symbol, Elminster in Hell
The above quite is the only lie the Chosen – normally, not a group of people noted for relating the truth – tell in the book.
Once Elminster is in hell, the exiled devil Nergal captures Elminster – who has exhausted most of his spells and is far from Mystra’s power. Nergal promptly begins rummaging trough the Big E’s memories for the secret to spellfire – the ability to make a pyrocluastic cloud come out of your fingertips. Elminster, naturally, resists this effort.
This is where the anthology part of the book comes into play. Namely, the memories. Each memory is a bit of short fiction or even flash fiction. They range back to when Elminster was galloping around Myth Drannor to when he is hanging around his tower in Shadowdale. They also include memories of other individuals, including the memory of a couple of Laerel’s and the one and only Mirt. They are, in short, the summation of what appears to be philosophy behind El.
Not getting what he wants, Nergals tortures Elminster horrifically; such as ripping his arms off, dropping him from high places, letting devil maggots eat his flesh, mentally inflicted torture, flaying him with devil whips, making him watch “Ishatar,” “Dungeons and Dragons the Movie,” and “Battlefield Earth” back-to-back with out a pause.
Elminster, clever old git that he is, manages to signal his allies, who attempt to mount a rescue. These include the predictable ones, such as the Symbol, Storm and Laeral. It also includes surprises such as the Srinshee and Halaster the Bonkers.
Along the way lots of devils get blow up, Halaster get squashed in hell more than once, a royal guard in Aglorand plays with a mouse and the Symbol runs around hell naked.
“HUMAN, DO YOU DARE THREATEN ME?”
-Nergal, Elminster in Hell
It would be a mistake to call this book “usual fair,” for Greenwood or Elminster. The story is flatly uglier than others Greenwood has written about the Big E, whom himself is debased and humiliated – repeatedly.
This is a change of pace from the stories where Elminster strides across Fearun, mighty, infallible and unquestionable. Where as he can usually be called upon to blast the bad guys into flinders and then ridicule any good guys present, the situation here is reversed. Elminster is humbled.
This is perhaps the purpose of the entire book. A great many complaints by fans have been made about Elminster, his power and they way he comports himself – or rather they way he is depicted as comporting himself. Succinctly as possible, he is too powerful and takes too much pleasure in using and abusing those around him. To say he is getting his comeuppance in this book is not quite accurate but reasonably close to the mark.
“WELL, THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE. NOT USEFUL, BUT AT LEAST IMPRESSIVE.”
-Nergal, Elminster in Hell
However, even if this is the purpose of the book, it would seem to miss the heart of the matter for a great deal of the complaints.
The Elminster in the stories – beyond being so powerful and infallible, traits guaranteed to create resentment in readers – is frequently depicted as getting off on humiliating people, his “allies” and “friends” included. The Elminster in the gaming materials in nothing more and nothing less than a big stick for DM’s to use to beat the player characters with – and make certain that the PC do not fight back. If they DM has Manshoon show up and kick the PC’s in the balls, then they are entitled – and expected – to fight back, no matter how futile the situation. If the DM has Elminster show up and kick the PC’s in the balls, then the PC’s are just supposed to say “Thank you sir, can I have another!” in a squeaky voice. After all, Elminster is the good guy, Chosen of the goddess of magic and Can Do No Wrong. So to resist him, in any way, must be evil, even if he just kicked you hard in the balls for no other reason than just to see your eyes go all buggy. Further, having him so powerful and the one who supposedly manipulates the PC into doing what ever they are doing degrades them – and thus the players – and strips their accomplishments of meaning and value. Reducing his power level or having him go through some event to justify an alteration in his temperament would have better served the situation and addressed the issues behind the complaints.
Above and beyond this, even if you do not like the character, it is still unsettling to read passages where his arms are ripped off at the elbows and he is then made to crawl around hell on what now passes for all-fours. This reviewer, at least, does not enjoy reading the graphic details of the torture of anyone.
That is the external analysis of the book. There are some internal elements to consider.
This is not the first time Elminster found himself trapped, without help from Mystra, in an ugly place. In the Time of Troubles series, very nearly the exact same situation saw Elminster trapped in hell or the abyss. Nevertheless, he showed up a few weeks later, not really the worse for the wear. Apparently, the first time was not much of a learning experience for him. This supposedly supremely clever mage left no safe guards in case he became trapped in the pits. This is particularly glaring considering it has happened to him at least once before.
Secondly, why would Mystra personally intervene? Does she not have any celestial-like servants that she could have dispatched to hell to get Elminster? Why does she have to personally show up or send mere mortals to hell?
In addition, the devils acted more like demons. Granted, nearly all the ones depicted in the book were described as “outcasts,” but still they were remarkably chaotic and capricious considering they were all supposed to be *lawful* evil.
Moreover, once again, the Symbol runs around butt naked – in hell, no less – for no other reason than just to titillate the fans. Which is somewhat insulting, as if reading about breast will make us forget weaknesses in the story, not to mention stupid in the context of the story.
The anthology stories/memories are quite good, depicting Faerun back and forth geographically and through different times. The Srinshee make her return in the book as well. Greenwood also does some interesting things with Halaster, not the least of which was Mystra promising to try to restore his sanity.
“’Tis done – and hear this, lady of my heart: I vow henceforth to spend more time with thee and let Faerun run more of its own affairs without my meddling.”
-Elminster, Elminster in Hell
If only he meant it. The book is a departure, however, by the end it has the feeling of same-old same-old.
The book is reasonably good, but not Greenwood’s best story or his best depiction of Elminster. Wait for it to come out in paper back.
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