The Inside Scoop on Gaming

"People love to watch members of their own peer group get carved up by masked killers with chainsaws - especially when the victims are "the popular kids" and the average horror film nut is a pimply-faced, socially disaffected teenage boy."

"Ironically, this is the audience that RPG manufacturers are aiming for."

MetalMan's Review of "Squeam 3" by Jared Sorensen

As if Squeam 2 wasn't enough... Mr. Sorensen has delved into the deepest bowels of fine cinematic history to produce the capper to his trilogy of games based on the juvenile slasher flick. Everyone please don your aprons, rubber gloves and safety goggles and we'll begin... You in the back - put down the waffle iron and I don't even want to know what the chicken is for.

The Premise:
Players assume the role of unwilling participants in future industrial accident documentaries. The object of the game is to survive the game despite everyone's complete ignorance of horror movie cliches and inability to think rationally.

What Ya Get:
Squeam 3, like its predecessor, is all HTML text. A complete printout of Squeam 3 will run ten pages out of your printer. Either way, its a quick printout regardless of what kind of printer you have. Netscape users remember to change your settings to print black text as the HTML text is white on a black background.

Cost:
Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Gratis. Thoreán. Free.

PERSONAL NOTE: Since I've already done a review of Squeam and Squeam 2 (Yes. I suffer from mental illness and I liked the D&D Movie), the bulk of this review will discuss the differences between Sqeam 2 and 3 as well as my own self-indulgent praddle. Deal with it or use your Back button now.

Appearance:
Squeam 3 doesn't differ from the previous versions. Text is white on a black background. There are some errors namely text left over from Squeam 2 that weren't removed for the Squeam 3 version and that still refer to the need for monopoly money. The only graphics are, again, used by the game logo that cleverly has an inverted number three. Now, I rarely expect such staggering innovations in game design from such a nuevo-hipster such as Mr. Sorensen, but the implications of inverting numbers can't be understated. The potential implications on RPG design are simply mind boggling. Next thing you know those crazy kids will be flipping the alphabet backwards.

The Game:
The types of Dead Teenagers, Adults, character creation and the attributes for each as completely unchanged from Squeam 2. "Task" resolution is carried out by rolling over your relevant attribute on a single ten-sided die. This is the same as from Squeam 2, but Sqeam 3 adds in an additional rule. If you roll a zero, you roll again. If it comes up zero again, you lower that attribute by one. If you roll a nine and then another nine, you raise that attribute by one. This provides a simplistic way of showing a character becoming hardened to blood n' guts or a representation of their decaying mental stability.

The concept of Challenges has also been added. They seem to be a replacement for the old "mode 2" game from Squeam 2. They only come into play when you roll your attribute exactly. When this happens, you have the option to either fail your roll normally or accept a Challenge. There is a different type of Challenge for each of your four attributes. I won't spoil the fun of what they are, but, if you've ever been to camp or played a game of "Truth or Dare" in college, you shouldn't have any problems with them. Although, I'll agree with Jared that the Naivete Challenge could lead to some lengthy therapy. *shudder*

Characters can still cheat fate by screaming really loud, but there is a new method for calculating it since the game has been moved completely over to a d10. You roll a d10 and halve the number. That's how many times the player can cheat fate and live. The list of bad guys has been expanded a bit with the addition of the mutant critter, alien monstrosity, plesantly bland serial killer, and the creepy kid/evil doll combo. Once again, however, veggie burgers were left off the list.

Overall Impression:
Squeam 3 is a definate improvement over 2 in my opinion. The mechanics system has been made more robust as well as the inclusion of the Challenge system to liven up gameplay. All of these factors make this the absolute coolest game ever. Run right out and look at it and then send Jared a large sums of money. Okay, Jared, happy now? Will you let my family go and destroy those negatives?

MetalMan signing off.

Squeam 3
Squeam 3 Capsule Review by MetalMan on 29/05/01 Style: 4 (Classy and well done) Substance: 4 (Meaty) Oh God, why again?! Squeam: The Final (unless popular) Chapter! Product: Squeam 3 Author: Jared Sorensen Category: RPG Company/Publisher: Memento Mori Theatricks Line: Free RPG Cost: FREE Page count: 10 Year published: 2001 ISBN: SKU: Comp copy?: no Capsule Review by MetalMan on 29/05/01 Genre tags: Modern day Horror	"People love to watch members of their own peer group get carved up by masked killers with chainsaws - especially when the victims are "the popular kids" and the average horror film nut is a pimply-faced, socially disaffected teenage boy." "Ironically, this is the audience that RPG manufacturers are aiming for." MetalMan's Review of "Squeam 3" by Jared Sorensen As if Squeam 2 wasn't enough... Mr. Sorensen has delved into the deepest bowels of fine cinematic history to produce the capper to his trilogy of games based on the juvenile slasher flick. Everyone please don your aprons, rubber gloves and safety goggles and we'll begin... You in the back - put down the waffle iron and I don't even want to know what the chicken is for. The Premise: Players assume the role of unwilling participants in future industrial accident documentaries. The object of the game is to survive the game despite everyone's complete ignorance of horror movie cliches and inability to think rationally. What Ya Get: Squeam 3, like its predecessor, is all HTML text. A complete printout of Squeam 3 will run ten pages out of your printer. Either way, its a quick printout regardless of what kind of printer you have. Netscape users remember to change your settings to print black text as the HTML text is white on a black background. Cost: Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Gratis. Thoreán. Free. PERSONAL NOTE: Since I've already done a review of Squeam and Squeam 2 (Yes. I suffer from mental illness and I liked the D&D Movie), the bulk of this review will discuss the differences between Sqeam 2 and 3 as well as my own self-indulgent praddle. Deal with it or use your Back button now. Appearance: Squeam 3 doesn't differ from the previous versions. Text is white on a black background. There are some errors namely text left over from Squeam 2 that weren't removed for the Squeam 3 version and that still refer to the need for monopoly money. The only graphics are, again, used by the game logo that cleverly has an inverted number three. Now, I rarely expect such staggering innovations in game design from such a nuevo-hipster such as Mr. Sorensen, but the implications of inverting numbers can't be understated. The potential implications on RPG design are simply mind boggling. Next thing you know those crazy kids will be flipping the alphabet backwards. The Game: The types of Dead Teenagers, Adults, character creation and the attributes for each as completely unchanged from Squeam 2. "Task" resolution is carried out by rolling over your relevant attribute on a single ten-sided die. This is the same as from Squeam 2, but Sqeam 3 adds in an additional rule. If you roll a zero, you roll again. If it comes up zero again, you lower that attribute by one. If you roll a nine and then another nine, you raise that attribute by one. This provides a simplistic way of showing a character becoming hardened to blood n' guts or a representation of their decaying mental stability. The concept of Challenges has also been added. They seem to be a replacement for the old "mode 2" game from Squeam 2. They only come into play when you roll your attribute exactly. When this happens, you have the option to either fail your roll normally or accept a Challenge. There is a different type of Challenge for each of your four attributes. I won't spoil the fun of what they are, but, if you've ever been to camp or played a game of "Truth or Dare" in college, you shouldn't have any problems with them. Although, I'll agree with Jared that the Naivete Challenge could lead to some lengthy therapy. shudder Characters can still cheat fate by screaming really loud, but there is a new method for calculating it since the game has been moved completely over to a d10. You roll a d10 and halve the number. That's how many times the player can cheat fate and live. The list of bad guys has been expanded a bit with the addition of the mutant critter, alien monstrosity, plesantly bland serial killer, and the creepy kid/evil doll combo. Once again, however, veggie burgers were left off the list. Overall Impression: Squeam 3 is a definate improvement over 2 in my opinion. The mechanics system has been made more robust as well as the inclusion of the Challenge system to liven up gameplay. All of these factors make this the absolute coolest game ever. Run right out and look at it and then send Jared a large sums of money. Okay, Jared, happy now? Will you let my family go and destroy those negatives? MetalMan signing off.