"Remember, after Godzilla stomped Tokyo for the first time, he kinda became a folk hero."
Run, puny humans! It's Biyugos, the giant snail from Planet X! Aaiiieeee!!!!! Everyone remembers those late night movies or weekend afternoons watching the Japanese "rubber suit" giant monster movies. Some may remember the Rampage arcade game. Either way, for some reason we seem fascinated by having massive property damage and loss of life perpetrated by giant monsters of our own creation or from "elsewhere."
The Premise:
You get to be the monster and try to destroy the other giant monsters and the stubborn humans who are foolish enough to challenge your dominance of the planet.
What Ya Get:
Here Come the Monsters! is available as a five page Adobe Acrobat (PDF) file. You will need to have the Adobe Acrobat Reader on your computer or a similiar program capable of rendering the PDF format. The file also comes zip-compressed so you will need a program such as WinZip to uncompress the PDF before you can view it. In addition, since this is a free download from Deep 7, a commercial publisher, you will need to register with them before you are allowed to access the free downloads section of their website. Its a pain, but you do get access to many cool things once you complete the process.
Cost:
Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Gratis. Thoreán. Free.
Appearance:
The five pages are all professionally laid out and in full color. The artwork leaves a little to be desired as the cover is a pretty cheesy collage job and the interior work is clip art. Still, its free and to expect original artwork is asking a bit much. The fact that there is any images at all is significant as over 90 percent of all free games on the Internet lack any real graphic presentation to them.
The Game:
Even though the complete file is five pages, only two of those compose the game. The other three are the cover, a table of contents, and an advertisement. Why a two page game needed a table of contents is beyond me, but who am I to question? Its not like I paid money for it or anything and it is a relatively quick download.
Players begin by creating their monster. 1d3 is rolled for each of the two attributes: Hugeness and Craftiness. 1d6 is then rolled for skill points and no skill can be ranked higher than three. There really are only two relevant skills: Whup-Ass and Dodge. You can come up with other skills for your monster if you like, but odds are that you won't use it very often. Roll another d6 and that gives you your Recovery score. Recovery is how much health you regain after a round of not doing anything and making a successful Hugeness check (boy, that's a loaded sentence isn't it?). Now, roll 3d6 5. This result is your Ichor score which is essentially how much damage you can take before you're dead. Popularity always starts at zero (you're a big horkin' monster trashing the human cities after all), but you can, at the beginning of each game, make a Craftiness check. If you are successful, you gain a point of Popularity and can then make a Popularity check when under attack by the military to have them call off the attack because you're "defending the city." It isn't stated in the rules but should be noted that I assume this is only if there is another monster present. Character creation is finished off by rolling on two random tables to determine what kind of monster you are and your appearance/special attacks. There is an error on Table 2 under Special Attacks in that the damage for Eye Lasers is not given.
Combat is simple. Add your attribute and skill together and roll a d6. If the result is equal to or lesser than your result, you are successful. Opposed rolls are determined by whoever has the greatest success on their roll. A one is always a success and a six is always a failure. Damage is applied by subtracting your Hugeness from the total amount. A random hit location table is given along with a rating for AP (Armor Points I assume). However, AP really isn't used in the game unless you manage to roll for Natural Armor on the creation table. I'm assuming that this means that AP is not used otherwise.
Page two is titled "For the Referee" and details some hints for GM on how to make the game more enjoyable. There is a chart on this page that lists the damage from various man-made objects. Strangely enough, a jet fighter does twice as much damage than a battleship and the same battleship does the same amount of damage as a tank. And I'm not even going to get started on how much damage a thrown flagpole does. I know the game is susposed to be "beer and pretzels" but, if you're a GM you may want to redo these numbers. Other than that, this page offers some good advice although little of it isn't things that we've seen in other contexts elsewhere. Still, a refresher now and then doesn't harm anything.
Overall Impression:
Here Come the Monsters! is a fun little game. I don't know how much replay value you'll find in it, but the general idea of it is sound. There are some oddities with the rules that I don't agree with but you may find acceptable in your game. Still, its a very good value for what you pay for it and could be a lot of fun with a little city build on the kitchen table with blocks or legos and a bunch of plastic dinosaurs. A good GM seems essential as they are going to have keep the players entertained by their descriptions of the carnage and the actions of the monsters and keep it within the movie-like context of the game without it getting repetitive (not that the movies the game is based on are all that original and groundbreaking to begin with). Your milage may vary, but Here Comes the Monsters! seems like a plesant enough diversion for a game session where everyone is just tired or not everyone shows up for your usual game.
MetalMan signing off.
GOJIRA!!! *squish*
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