The Inside Scoop on Gaming

"Well, teenagers are notoriously stupid - a fact which is made even more obvious by the glut of Dead Teenager movies, depsite the fact that they're (pretty much) all terrible, low-budget, amateur hack jobs with lots of gratuitous gore and nudity."

MetalMan's Review of "Squeam 2" by Jared Sorensen

Not to be content with his creation of Squeam, Mr. Sorensen has once again gone into areas that many many fine pieces of cinema that you can see at 3am on your local TV station has treaded - the sequel. To quote him: "So naturally, a bad sequel was soon to follow. Did you honestly expect anything less?"

The Premise:
Players once again assume the role of pulpy places to put all types of power tools and sharp implements. The lucky ones (generally early adopters of the "buddy system") get to have their characters survive to meet a gruesome end another day or in another awful sequel to the sequel.

What Ya Get:
Squeam 2, like its predecessor, is all HTML text. A complete printout of Squeam 2 will run eleven pages out of your printer. Next step? Squeam the novella! Squeam action figures with the kung-fu grip Jared Sorensen with removable Casper the Friendly Sociopath mask! Then the movie deals! (Hey, it worked with Scary Movie didn't it?) I smell franchise here!

Cost:
Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Gratis. Thoreán. Free.

PERSONAL NOTE: Since I've already done a review of Squeam, this review will primarily concentrate on the changes between it and Squeam 2.

Appearance:
The author had to break the bank with this redesign. We now get a big blood red "2" for the logo and a box that encloses the text. I mean, come on! Do you have any IDEA how expensive red is for webpages?! The man probably had to make a lot of trips to the blood bank to scrape together enough coin to pay for that! Who says you don't have to suffer for your art? The only real gripe is with spelling... there are some typos in it such as "amaterur" instead of "amateur" and "except" insted of "expect." Not a big deal, but it can be distracting at times.

The big differnce with Squeam 2 is the addition of the "mode 2" game. It is another variant of the rules that the GM can use. Also the die type has been changed from using a d6 to using a d10. The mode 2 game takes characters out of the involvement in a horror flick as their characters and instead casts them as actors in a horror movie being done by the Director (the GM). Players can influence the plot of the movie by bribing the GM (or other players). This is the substitute for Fate Points from the original Squeam. To quote a rule from the author - "As the author of the this game, I must firmly discourage the use of sexual favors in order to influence the GM." GMs may consider this rule OPTIONAL depending on how cute their players are or how much alcohol has been depleated during the evening. Most people, however, will want to use the suggestion of play money from an old Monopoly set instead.

The Director starts the game with $25,000 to make the movie with. This budget has to be spent on Casting, Props. Location, Special FX, and Incidentals. The Cop, Caretaker and Old Coot archtypes are represented under Casting as well as a new one - Supportive Adult. Depending on their importance to the movie. These NPCs will be considered Major, Minor, and Trivial as to how much they will take away from your budget.

Props, Location and Special FX all work as Casting with levels of complexity classified as Major, Minor and Trivial and with varying costs associated with them that removes more money from the movie budget. Incidentals are the replacements for Fate Points. You can invest some of the budget to "purchase" extra points to increase their attributes or give them special items (who knew Bob the Jock would have a copy of the Necronomicon in his sock drawer for years?). The GM can also award "cash payments" during the game to reward good roleplaying. This cash can then be used later for "script rewrites" so that the players can change the direction of the film. No standard measure of how much this should cost is given so it is up to the GM to determine how much they're paying (remember you're under a budget limit!) and how much rewrites will cost.

The next section is on acting and covers the various types of teenagers. Here is a list of the changes made. Geeky Teen is now called The Nerd. Quiet Teen is now The Freak. Jock Teen is now easily moved to The Jock. Bimbo Teen is now The Bimbo. Lucky Teen is now The Prep. Tough Teen is now The Punk. Slutty Teen is now The Slut. Finally Good Girl Teen is called The Princess. Each of these types of characters can have bonuses to their attributes so you'll want to pay attention to those if you make that type of character.

Character creation has been revised. You now have 20 points to spend on attributes instead of the previous roll of 2d6. The range has also been increased. Instead of the one to seven range, it has been moved to a zero through nine scale. This is to reflect the move from a d6 to a d10. Zeros are good. Nines are very bad. Each of the attributes (Fright, Squeam, Curiosity and Naivete) are given a brief description as well as a "benchmark" listing a la White Woe...ah... Wolf.

The actual system mechanics (as stated in the original Squeam rules) is unchanged as is the monster listing.

Overall Impression:
So whats new? A few jokes and the mode 2 variant game along with some minor mechanics tweaks. I'm not entirely sure that I care for the Director/Actor approach but that's why the option is given for playing either way. Its still funny and should be a fun game. Although there could be more work involved for the GM as he has to keep track of money now. If you don't mind the added complexity, Squeam 2 is a worthy successor.

MetalMan signing off.

Squeam 2
Squeam 2 Capsule Review by MetalMan on 21/03/01 Style: 3 (Average) Substance: 4 (Meaty) "Why would anyone want to do that? Sequels suck!" - Randy, "Scream 2" Product: Squeam 2 Author: Jared Sorensen Category: RPG Company/Publisher: Memento Mori Theatricks Line: Cost: FREE Page count: 11 Year published: 2001 ISBN: SKU: Capsule Review by MetalMan on 21/03/01 Genre tags: Horror Comedy Vampire Gothic	"Well, teenagers are notoriously stupid - a fact which is made even more obvious by the glut of Dead Teenager movies, depsite the fact that they're (pretty much) all terrible, low-budget, amateur hack jobs with lots of gratuitous gore and nudity." MetalMan's Review of "Squeam 2" by Jared Sorensen Not to be content with his creation of Squeam, Mr. Sorensen has once again gone into areas that many many fine pieces of cinema that you can see at 3am on your local TV station has treaded - the sequel. To quote him: "So naturally, a bad sequel was soon to follow. Did you honestly expect anything less?" The Premise: Players once again assume the role of pulpy places to put all types of power tools and sharp implements. The lucky ones (generally early adopters of the "buddy system") get to have their characters survive to meet a gruesome end another day or in another awful sequel to the sequel. What Ya Get: Squeam 2, like its predecessor, is all HTML text. A complete printout of Squeam 2 will run eleven pages out of your printer. Next step? Squeam the novella! Squeam action figures with the kung-fu grip Jared Sorensen with removable Casper the Friendly Sociopath mask! Then the movie deals! (Hey, it worked with Scary Movie didn't it?) I smell franchise here! Cost: Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Gratis. Thoreán. Free. PERSONAL NOTE: Since I've already done a review of Squeam, this review will primarily concentrate on the changes between it and Squeam 2. Appearance: The author had to break the bank with this redesign. We now get a big blood red "2" for the logo and a box that encloses the text. I mean, come on! Do you have any IDEA how expensive red is for webpages?! The man probably had to make a lot of trips to the blood bank to scrape together enough coin to pay for that! Who says you don't have to suffer for your art? The only real gripe is with spelling... there are some typos in it such as "amaterur" instead of "amateur" and "except" insted of "expect." Not a big deal, but it can be distracting at times. The big differnce with Squeam 2 is the addition of the "mode 2" game. It is another variant of the rules that the GM can use. Also the die type has been changed from using a d6 to using a d10. The mode 2 game takes characters out of the involvement in a horror flick as their characters and instead casts them as actors in a horror movie being done by the Director (the GM). Players can influence the plot of the movie by bribing the GM (or other players). This is the substitute for Fate Points from the original Squeam. To quote a rule from the author - "As the author of the this game, I must firmly discourage the use of sexual favors in order to influence the GM." GMs may consider this rule OPTIONAL depending on how cute their players are or how much alcohol has been depleated during the evening. Most people, however, will want to use the suggestion of play money from an old Monopoly set instead. The Director starts the game with $25,000 to make the movie with. This budget has to be spent on Casting, Props. Location, Special FX, and Incidentals. The Cop, Caretaker and Old Coot archtypes are represented under Casting as well as a new one - Supportive Adult. Depending on their importance to the movie. These NPCs will be considered Major, Minor, and Trivial as to how much they will take away from your budget. Props, Location and Special FX all work as Casting with levels of complexity classified as Major, Minor and Trivial and with varying costs associated with them that removes more money from the movie budget. Incidentals are the replacements for Fate Points. You can invest some of the budget to "purchase" extra points to increase their attributes or give them special items (who knew Bob the Jock would have a copy of the Necronomicon in his sock drawer for years?). The GM can also award "cash payments" during the game to reward good roleplaying. This cash can then be used later for "script rewrites" so that the players can change the direction of the film. No standard measure of how much this should cost is given so it is up to the GM to determine how much they're paying (remember you're under a budget limit!) and how much rewrites will cost. The next section is on acting and covers the various types of teenagers. Here is a list of the changes made. Geeky Teen is now called The Nerd. Quiet Teen is now The Freak. Jock Teen is now easily moved to The Jock. Bimbo Teen is now The Bimbo. Lucky Teen is now The Prep. Tough Teen is now The Punk. Slutty Teen is now The Slut. Finally Good Girl Teen is called The Princess. Each of these types of characters can have bonuses to their attributes so you'll want to pay attention to those if you make that type of character. Character creation has been revised. You now have 20 points to spend on attributes instead of the previous roll of 2d6. The range has also been increased. Instead of the one to seven range, it has been moved to a zero through nine scale. This is to reflect the move from a d6 to a d10. Zeros are good. Nines are very bad. Each of the attributes (Fright, Squeam, Curiosity and Naivete) are given a brief description as well as a "benchmark" listing a la White Woe...ah... Wolf. The actual system mechanics (as stated in the original Squeam rules) is unchanged as is the monster listing. Overall Impression: So whats new? A few jokes and the mode 2 variant game along with some minor mechanics tweaks. I'm not entirely sure that I care for the Director/Actor approach but that's why the option is given for playing either way. Its still funny and should be a fun game. Although there could be more work involved for the GM as he has to keep track of money now. If you don't mind the added complexity, Squeam 2 is a worthy successor. MetalMan signing off.