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For years, there was talk of a legendary 6-hour-long version of David Lynch's 1984 Dune. Geeks from all over the world -myself included- believed in it and sought to own it; but it proved elusive, though everyone knew someone who had seen it for sale at a con. No one, of course, ever bought it.

That's because it doesn't exist.

Then, there came the ads, the teasers, the trailers: the Sci-Fi channel was throwing together a miniseries, a television adaptation of Frank Herbert's epic work. With its wacky costumes, modern FX and fairly obvious indoor deserts, some geeks -myself included- doubted this project's ability to tell, let alone capture, the breadth of the novel.

Myself included.

Folks, I'm here to admit to you, publicly: I can be a real moron sometimes.

That's becuase I've seen Dune: The Miniseries. And now, I know better.

Brass tacks, now -- in 228 minutes, this TV miniseries does much, much, much more than David Lynch's 4-hour TV-only cut ever could. It's solid, it's well-paced, it's surprisingly well-acted, it's fairly complete, plenty complex, sounds good, looks good, feels good and the chick that plays Irulan is a turbo hottie, even when she's covered with butterflies.

Just so everyone knows, I never finished reading the book. Nothing to do with the book's own quality -- I never finished it due to a very long and tragic tale of failed romance, a cruel woman and mountains in Colorado. I've read half of it, or so. But my GF, who actually scored the tape (legally -- it's a full-length screener for the videotape release due in January) has read the whole thing, so we checked notes on the series' completeness.

SPOILER ALERT -- IF YOU'VE NOT READ THE BOOK, SKIP THIS! There's a LOT here, especially a lot of stuff that wasn't in the 1984 attempt: Stilgar spits on the floor. Paul and Chani have a son, whom the Harkonnen troops kill. Irulan seduces Feyd and argues with her father. Vladimir makes it with boys (off-screen, thankfully). Paul threatens to blow everything up, so Irulan marries him. Wow. END OF SPOILERS! KEEP READIN'!

The film is well-acted, and, strangely, well-cast. Alec Newman, a newcomer I believe, plays Paul on his way from bored rich kid through guerrilla warlord to god-like being with ease, not to mention convincingly. As I mentioned before, Julie Cox (Irulan) is stunningly beautiful and does a very good job of being a multi-faced, cunning princess -- the scene between her and Paul, where they flirt with each other, is a delight. Special kudos go to William Hurt's Duke Leto Atreides and to Ian McNeice as Baron Vladimir Harkonnen, as the heads of the warring houses, because these two just plain rock. McNeice plays Vladimir just over-the-top enough to seem nuts, and yet nowhere near campy -- in fact, the man is in constant control of himself and, by extension, of the audience. I don't know who plays Dr. Kynes (a full cast list is, sadly, unavailable to me), but even though he looks like Marty Feldman, his presence is uncanny; many was the time when my companions and I 'heard' him speak his lines with no more than a glance.

Hubba.

The pacing lags a bit here and there, but it's never boring; and the cinematography is sometimes downright gorgeous. Some shots I actually found myself envying. Yowza!

Visually, the film (I'll call it a film) is tasty. The costumes are from all over the place, and are otherworldly without straying into cheese-town. Irulan (again!) wears a variety of wacky headgear to great effect; the Sardaukar look like weird, evil French bakers, but no one minds; the Harkonnen costumes have an odd Japanese motif running throughout; it just goes on and on. Stillsuits that don't look like Firestones. It's great.

And the ships! Nowhere here will you see a spaceship that looks like, say, a wedge of cheese, a toaster or the fender of a '57 Chevy. The Ornithopters look, oddly, like houseflies, but to excellnt effect, while the Harkonnen fliers are like birds of prey, swooping stealthily through the air. And don't get me started on the Guild ships or their navigators, because I won't shut up.

In fact, I want to say very little more. I want you to see the thing for yourself.

Is it perfect? No. I have my nits to pick:

- The variety of accents used in the film, while realistic, is hard to keep up with.

- Why don't the Mentats ave red-stained lips?

- Chani never calls Paul "Usul".

- Eeek! Cute Desert Mouse Alert! It's OK, I like cute mice.

There are some abridgements, but they're minor, and do not disrupt the film. Hardcore fans may find more to worry about, but I doubt it.

Don't get Sci-Fi? Me, either. The home video release is scheduled for 23 Jan 2001, with a DVD (yum!) to follow in March.

David Lynch once kicked his college roomate out of their dormroom because he thought the guy was too weird. The roomate? Peter Wolf, former frontman for The J. Geils Band. Lynch is a fruitcake.

And his Dune is sad in comparison unto this one.

Dune fans, your Messiah has come.

-- Rotwang! (The Kwisinart-Hatrack)

Style: 5 (Excellent!)
Substance: 5 (Excellent!)

DUNE
Author: John Harrison (Director), based on Frank Herbert's book Category: Television Mini-series Company/Publisher: BetaFilm GmbH/New Amsterdam Entertainment Inc./Tandem Communications/Victor Teevision Productions, Inc. Line: Umn....Dune. Cost: varies Page count: 228 minutes Playtest Review by Dr. Rotwang! on 11/28/00. Genre tags: Science fiction	For years, there was talk of a legendary 6-hour-long version of David Lynch's 1984 Dune. Geeks from all over the world -myself included- believed in it and sought to own it; but it proved elusive, though everyone knew someone who had seen it for sale at a con. No one, of course, ever bought it. That's because it doesn't exist. Then, there came the ads, the teasers, the trailers: the Sci-Fi channel was throwing together a miniseries, a television adaptation of Frank Herbert's epic work. With its wacky costumes, modern FX and fairly obvious indoor deserts, some geeks -myself included- doubted this project's ability to tell, let alone capture, the breadth of the novel. Myself included. Folks, I'm here to admit to you, publicly: I can be a real moron sometimes. That's becuase I've seen Dune: The Miniseries. And now, I know better. Brass tacks, now -- in 228 minutes, this TV miniseries does much, much, much more than David Lynch's 4-hour TV-only cut ever could. It's solid, it's well-paced, it's surprisingly well-acted, it's fairly complete, plenty complex, sounds good, looks good, feels good and the chick that plays Irulan is a turbo hottie, even when she's covered with butterflies. Just so everyone knows, I never finished reading the book. Nothing to do with the book's own quality -- I never finished it due to a very long and tragic tale of failed romance, a cruel woman and mountains in Colorado. I've read half of it, or so. But my GF, who actually scored the tape (legally -- it's a full-length screener for the videotape release due in January) has read the whole thing, so we checked notes on the series' completeness. SPOILER ALERT -- IF YOU'VE NOT READ THE BOOK, SKIP THIS! There's a LOT here, especially a lot of stuff that wasn't in the 1984 attempt: Stilgar spits on the floor. Paul and Chani have a son, whom the Harkonnen troops kill. Irulan seduces Feyd and argues with her father. Vladimir makes it with boys (off-screen, thankfully). Paul threatens to blow everything up, so Irulan marries him. Wow. END OF SPOILERS! KEEP READIN'! The film is well-acted, and, strangely, well-cast. Alec Newman, a newcomer I believe, plays Paul on his way from bored rich kid through guerrilla warlord to god-like being with ease, not to mention convincingly. As I mentioned before, Julie Cox (Irulan) is stunningly beautiful and does a very good job of being a multi-faced, cunning princess -- the scene between her and Paul, where they flirt with each other, is a delight. Special kudos go to William Hurt's Duke Leto Atreides and to Ian McNeice as Baron Vladimir Harkonnen, as the heads of the warring houses, because these two just plain rock. McNeice plays Vladimir just over-the-top enough to seem nuts, and yet nowhere near campy -- in fact, the man is in constant control of himself and, by extension, of the audience. I don't know who plays Dr. Kynes (a full cast list is, sadly, unavailable to me), but even though he looks like Marty Feldman, his presence is uncanny; many was the time when my companions and I 'heard' him speak his lines with no more than a glance. Hubba. The pacing lags a bit here and there, but it's never boring; and the cinematography is sometimes downright gorgeous. Some shots I actually found myself envying. Yowza! Visually, the film (I'll call it a film) is tasty. The costumes are from all over the place, and are otherworldly without straying into cheese-town. Irulan (again!) wears a variety of wacky headgear to great effect; the Sardaukar look like weird, evil French bakers, but no one minds; the Harkonnen costumes have an odd Japanese motif running throughout; it just goes on and on. Stillsuits that don't look like Firestones. It's great. And the ships! Nowhere here will you see a spaceship that looks like, say, a wedge of cheese, a toaster or the fender of a '57 Chevy. The Ornithopters look, oddly, like houseflies, but to excellnt effect, while the Harkonnen fliers are like birds of prey, swooping stealthily through the air. And don't get me started on the Guild ships or their navigators, because I won't shut up. In fact, I want to say very little more. I want you to see the thing for yourself. Is it perfect? No. I have my nits to pick: - The variety of accents used in the film, while realistic, is hard to keep up with. - Why don't the Mentats ave red-stained lips? - Chani never calls Paul "Usul". - Eeek! Cute Desert Mouse Alert! It's OK, I like cute mice. There are some abridgements, but they're minor, and do not disrupt the film. Hardcore fans may find more to worry about, but I doubt it. Don't get Sci-Fi? Me, either. The home video release is scheduled for 23 Jan 2001, with a DVD (yum!) to follow in March. David Lynch once kicked his college roomate out of their dormroom because he thought the guy was too weird. The roomate? Peter Wolf, former frontman for The J. Geils Band. Lynch is a fruitcake. And his Dune is sad in comparison unto this one. Dune fans, your Messiah has come. -- Rotwang! (The Kwisinart-Hatrack) Style: 5 (Excellent!) Substance: 5 (Excellent!)

DUNE