The Inside Scoop on Gaming

The recent release of the Phantom Menace on video has prompted me to do a review. Although I don't necessarily believe that RPG.NET is the place for movie reviews per se, I think the Star Wars series is one of the few exceptions since there is a roleplaying game based on it by Westward Games (which is now defunct) and a new one coming out by Wizards of the Coast. Much of the material that will be appearing in the new Star Wars game will undoubtedly be from the new Phantom Menace.

Phantom Menace is, for those of you either in a coma or out to lunch in a very metaphorical way, is the 1999 prequel to the Star Wars trilogy of the 1970s and 80s. I saw Star Wars in the theater the first time it came out (in 78 or whatever year that was) and it was the movie that got me into science fiction. I also saw the enhanced versions that appeared in the theaters a few years back and I enjoyed them immensely.

Imagine my disappointment, then, when I saw Phantom Menace. First of all, the original Star Wars movies, while suitable for children, were made for adults. Lucas, having adopted a variety of children who are still young, made this movie for his kids (and he said so on 60 Minutes). As a result, it is a kid's movie and, while I have nothing against that genre, enjoyable only if you happen to be 13 and under. This was the first of many things that went wrong with this movie.

Its script was a disaster from beginning to end, and the directing was pathetic. The dialogue was poor, the various attempts at dialect a mess (the Chinese accents and sports announcer voice annoyed me the most), and the acting pathetic. The special effects were good but they weren't anything ground breaking.

Now, as I mentioned at this review's beginning, I am reviewing this game because it has a direct impact on the roleplaying industry. I am interested to see how TSR is going to deal with the various inconsistencies that this movie presented. Why is Obi Wan Kanobi being trained by this other Jedi Master guy? Obi Wan told Luke in The Empire Strikes Back that Yoda, not this other guy (whose name escapes me), trained him.

Another question: how old do you have to be to become a Jedi? Yoda says that Anikan Skywalker is too old to start Jedi training. He can't be more than 9 or 10. Do you have to be in diapers to start training?

Is there going to be a rule that the fight scene at the end of the movie must involve a large complicated area that seems to serve no real purpose, has no people around, and randomly produces force fields every so often?

Is there going to be a chapter dedicated to mixing primitive weapons with modern ones, as demonstrated in the battle between the battle druids and Jar Jar Bink's people.

A lot of people said that this movie was good--then they add, "Except for Jar Jar Binks." Jar Jar Bink's was the least of this movie's problems. It amazes me that old time Star Wars fans or anyone over 13 actually liked or enjoyed it. I think the trouble is that a lot of fans want it to be good and won't admit that it's crap. They are definitely having some serious delusions if they think this movie qualifies as anything close to good. It certainly doesn't stand up to any other Lucas projects. In fact, the only good thing I can say about this movie is that it eventually ends.

Howard Stern, a self-proclaimed fan of the Star Wars movies, recently said that George Lucas shouldn't be allowed to make any more Star Wars movies. I'm inclined to agree with him. They should beat Lucas over the head senseless and let Spielberg or someone good make the next one.

I could go on for a long time explaining why this movie was in fact crap, but I'm not wasting one more moment on it!

Style: 1 (Unintelligible)
Substance: 1 (I Wasted My Money)

Phantom Menace
Author: George Lucas Category: Movie Company/Publisher: Lucas Films Ltd. Line: Star Wars Capsule Review by Mark Strecker on 04/18/00. Genre tags: Fantasy Science_fiction Far_Future	The recent release of the Phantom Menace on video has prompted me to do a review. Although I don't necessarily believe that RPG.NET is the place for movie reviews per se, I think the Star Wars series is one of the few exceptions since there is a roleplaying game based on it by Westward Games (which is now defunct) and a new one coming out by Wizards of the Coast. Much of the material that will be appearing in the new Star Wars game will undoubtedly be from the new Phantom Menace. Phantom Menace is, for those of you either in a coma or out to lunch in a very metaphorical way, is the 1999 prequel to the Star Wars trilogy of the 1970s and 80s. I saw Star Wars in the theater the first time it came out (in 78 or whatever year that was) and it was the movie that got me into science fiction. I also saw the enhanced versions that appeared in the theaters a few years back and I enjoyed them immensely. Imagine my disappointment, then, when I saw Phantom Menace. First of all, the original Star Wars movies, while suitable for children, were made for adults. Lucas, having adopted a variety of children who are still young, made this movie for his kids (and he said so on 60 Minutes). As a result, it is a kid's movie and, while I have nothing against that genre, enjoyable only if you happen to be 13 and under. This was the first of many things that went wrong with this movie. Its script was a disaster from beginning to end, and the directing was pathetic. The dialogue was poor, the various attempts at dialect a mess (the Chinese accents and sports announcer voice annoyed me the most), and the acting pathetic. The special effects were good but they weren't anything ground breaking. Now, as I mentioned at this review's beginning, I am reviewing this game because it has a direct impact on the roleplaying industry. I am interested to see how TSR is going to deal with the various inconsistencies that this movie presented. Why is Obi Wan Kanobi being trained by this other Jedi Master guy? Obi Wan told Luke in The Empire Strikes Back that Yoda, not this other guy (whose name escapes me), trained him. Another question: how old do you have to be to become a Jedi? Yoda says that Anikan Skywalker is too old to start Jedi training. He can't be more than 9 or 10. Do you have to be in diapers to start training? Is there going to be a rule that the fight scene at the end of the movie must involve a large complicated area that seems to serve no real purpose, has no people around, and randomly produces force fields every so often? Is there going to be a chapter dedicated to mixing primitive weapons with modern ones, as demonstrated in the battle between the battle druids and Jar Jar Bink's people. A lot of people said that this movie was good--then they add, "Except for Jar Jar Binks." Jar Jar Bink's was the least of this movie's problems. It amazes me that old time Star Wars fans or anyone over 13 actually liked or enjoyed it. I think the trouble is that a lot of fans want it to be good and won't admit that it's crap. They are definitely having some serious delusions if they think this movie qualifies as anything close to good. It certainly doesn't stand up to any other Lucas projects. In fact, the only good thing I can say about this movie is that it eventually ends. Howard Stern, a self-proclaimed fan of the Star Wars movies, recently said that George Lucas shouldn't be allowed to make any more Star Wars movies. I'm inclined to agree with him. They should beat Lucas over the head senseless and let Spielberg or someone good make the next one. I could go on for a long time explaining why this movie was in fact crap, but I'm not wasting one more moment on it! Style: 1 (Unintelligible) Substance: 1 (I Wasted My Money)