ViO8AL#f)|05üB._7y8_|V0Ii C&`v:W7A&R-B&ow}h'9͎D[&p1376"#WJȿ) 1ǕjVTj}limyL\:{(VD!Z֨YC& Oּ]0\Ec\#5˚W/52!5oX/ţϔ̀[I|<ï' 6l͛3`0JdJ QŲ~'$-qYʔ(I>֣+V%!5Z3ɅoY .A0cZNJ}J$;1hnNKA; TL!8Ch|DrpCq نEUeS)Lc~eq(ȉ:C4\&dmd*;]l&Jw) /G@!(؊oMo}1Af#gϸ٪tDplMeڙ) ;Ab QZ!qR}>*yԗ_}WɋwxN/.żljfĴ˲]&eiWIoݨt37bY'O#ӢWTJtlh 6l&MvFl`vrg^cNk01h9J$Z׆a~*6x匏{H>;"$rWI$VG fp{vW`[{qU۪ˈE^Ͱ{Xz:M :k nG.(k"evUۺ6AD+ߎf2:OKrںdɰ$b5hS, Attached is the script for a trailer submitted by John Morrow as his entry in our "Extreme Vengeance" contest.

Vengeance is Mine

by John Morrow

Since movie trailers generally show all the good parts of any action movie, I figured I'd present my entry in the form of an action movie trailer. I hope that's acceptable. Consider this the reason why action hero Pierre Wong (played by John Clod O'Damn) should win a copy of _Extreme Vengeance_. Entry below.

[THIS PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR ALL AUDIENCES. THE MOVIE HAS NOT YET BEEN RATED BY THE MOTION PICTURE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA. NO HARM IS INTENDED TOWARDS ANY OF THE PERSONALITIES SPOOFED IN THE FOLLOWING PARODY.]

SLOW SINISTER MUSIC STARTS.

FADE IN.

CAMERA PANS OVER A LARGE SHELF OF OLD WELL USED SPI, AVALON HILL, ETC. WARGAME BOXES FOR A FEW SECONDS. DUST IS CLEARLY VISIBLE ON THE BOXES.

CUT TO A PAN OF A SUNNY TREE-LINED STREET OF BROWNSTONES.

Announcer: In a quiet American city...

CUT TO CONTINUED PAN OVER THE WARGAMES SHELF FOR A FEW MORE SECONDS.

CUT TO A CLOSE-UP OF ONE OF THE BROWNSTONES. PIERRE WONG EXITS THE FRONT DOOR, PULLS SUNGLASSES OUT OF HIS FRONT FLANNEL SHIRT PICKET, FLICKS THEM OPEN, AND PUTS THEM ON. HE WEARS A _THE GM IS ALWAYS RIGHT_ T-SHIRT.

Announcer: an unsuspecting role-player...

CUT TO CONTINUED PAN OVER THE WARGAMES SHELF FOR A FEW MORE SECONDS.

CUT TO THE BROWNSTONE PORCH. APOLLO, PIERRE'S FRIEND BRISKLY WALKS UP THE STEPS AND BOUNCES ON HIS TOES NEXT TO PIERRE.

Apollo: Hey, Pierre, my man! Where you goin'?

Announcer: on the way to his local hobby shop, to buy this new game...

Pierre: To Game Dungeon. (in an Irish accent)

CUT TO CONTINUED PAN OVER THE WARGAMES SHELF FOR A FEW MORE SECONDS.

CUT TO THE BROWNSTONE PORCH. PIERRE AND APOLLO WALK DOWN THE STAIRS AND ONTO THE STREET. APOLLO SMILES AS SOME CHILDREN RIDE THEIR BICYCLES PAST HIM.

Apollo: I'll take a walk wit ya, then.

Announcer: is about to start the quest of his life...

CUT TO CONTINUED PAN OVER THE WARGAMES SHELF FOR A FEW MORE SECONDS THE PAN MOVES AWAY FROM THE SHELF TOWARDS TWO FIGURES SITTING IN SHADOW AT A TABLE. THEY SEEM TO BE PLAYING CARDS. FADE TO BLACK.

CUT TO GAME DUNGEON. PIERRE AND APOLLO WALK IN AND A BELL RINGS OVER THE DOOR. THEY WALK TOWARDS THE BACK AND PAUSE BEFORE A LARGE NUMBER OF EMPTY SHELVES.

Announcer: to find the game of his dreams.

Pierre: What the...

THE MUSIC GETS LOUDER AND PICKS UP PACE. CUT TO THE FRONT OF GAME DUNGEON STORE. THE PIERRE PULLS THE CLERK OVER THE COUNTER BY HIS SHIRT. STACKS AND DISPLAYS OF COLLECTIBLE CARD GAMES ARE EVERYWHERE.

Clerk: Hey man! I can't make money with that stuff anymore.

CLOSE-UP ON PIERRE AS HE SQUINTS IN ANGER.

Announcer: Starring Five time Irish World Kick-Boxing Champion John Clod O'Damn as Pierre Wong...

Clerk: It ain't my fault. The kids just want cards!

APOLLO STICKS HIS FACE INTO THE CLERKS FACE.

Apollo: Yeah, right!

Announcer: Denzel L. Snipes as Apollo, Pierre's token Black sidekick...

PIERRE SHOVES THE CLERK BACK AND HE STUMBLES, FALLING DOWN BEHIND THE COUNTER. CARD DISPLAYS TUMBLE ON TOP OF HIM, BURYING HIM. PIERRE YANKS THE DOOR OPEN AND THE BELL RINGS. HE AND APOLLO PAUSE AND LOOK AROUND.

Apollo: We'll be back, fool!

APOLLO AND PIERRE EXIT THE STORE.

CUT TO A CLUTTERED APARTMENT FILLED WITH COMPUTER EQUIPMENT. PAN TO FANNIE, A YOUNG WOMAN WHO LOOKS LIKE SHE JUST ROLLED OUT OF BED SITTING AT A COMPUTER. A CAT NEXT TO HER LOOKS DISINTERESTED.

Fannie: That can't be right! At this rate...

FANNIE STARTS COUNTING ON HER FINGERS.

Announcer: Sandra Buttocks as Fannie, the city's legendary lone female role-player...

Fannie: There won't be a single role-playing game for sale in the entire city by the end of the week!

PAN ON A CITY STREET AND ZOOM IN ON A PASSING POLICE CAR. CLOSE-UP ON THE DRIVER, DETECTIVE JOHN INSANE. VARIOUS THUDS AND SCREAMS CAN BE HEARD AND PEOPLE CAN BE SEEN FLYING AROUND THE CAR. NO ONE ELSE IS IN THE CAR.

Insane: Something's wrong. I know something's wrong.

Announcer: Bruce Killus as Detective John Insane...

INSANE JERKS THE STEERING WHEEL TO THE RIGHT. A MIME IS SEEN BOUNCING OFF THE WINDSHIELD.

Insane: I know it!

CUT TO A COLLECTIBLE PLAYING CARD SPINNING IN SLOW MOTION ACROSS THE TABLE. IT COMES TO REST AND A LARGE HAND SLAMS FLAT ON TOP OF IT AND CLOSES, CRUMPLING IT. THE MUSIC SLOWS. NORMAL SPEED CLOSE-UP PAN ACROSS GARFIELD, A MAN DRESSED IN AN ORANGE STRIPED LEATHER CATWOMAN SUIT. HE SMILES BROADLY.

Garfield: I win, General sweetie!

Announcer: Tim Furry as Garfield, the feline collectible card game designer...

CLOSE-UP ON THE CLENCHED FIST. IT RISES UNTIL WE SEE THE FACE OF GENERAL MAGAZINE. HE FROWNS.

Magazine: There is no skill to dis game. It is all luck!

Announcer: ...and Arnold Schwartzkopf as the bitter wargamer General Magazine who blames role-playing for the death of his beloved hobby.

Magazine: Dis is gahbage.

ZOOM OUT. GARFIELD STANDS. THE MUSIC STOPS. GARFIELD GETS A SERIOUS LOOK.

Garfield: Don't worry General, dear. Once we've run the role-playing game companies out of business, this fad will fade and you'll have the hobby field all to yourself again. And you'll be able to sell all those wargames you've been buying up as the silly licence holders folded and signed over the rights to you.

GARFIELD SMILES. GENERAL MAGAZINE SMILES AND THEN THEY BOTH START LAUGHING MANIACLY.

THE ACTION MUSIC STARTS AGAIN. CUT TO A SCENE OF PIERRE HANGING ONTO THE SIDE OF A CAR AS THE CAR SPINS OUT OF A PARKING SPOT.

CUT TO A SCENE OF DETECTIVE INSANE WITH HIS HANDS IN THE AIR. HE SPITS TO THE SIDE AND GLARES AT THE CAMERA IN CLOSE-UP.

CUT TO PIERRE JUMPING OUT OF AN ELEVATOR WITH TWO PISTOLS BLAZING AT AN UNSEEN ENEMY.

CUT TO A SCENE OF FANNY BANGING ON HER COMPUTER KEYBOARD THEN GRABBING THE HAIR ON EITHER SIDE OF HER HEAD.

CUT TO A SCENE OF PIERRE AND APOLLO IN A CAR. THEY TURN TO EACH OTHER, LOOK FORWARD, AND SCREAM.

LONG SHOT OF A CAR SAILING OFF A DOCK.

CUT TO A SCENE OF A HELICOPTER CRASHING INTO A BRIDGE.

CUT TO A LONG SHOT OF APOLLO DANGLING FROM A FLAG POLE HIGH UP ON THE SIDE OF A SKYSCRAPER.

CUT TO AN OPEN WINDOW WHERE PIERRE IS REACHING OUT TOWARDS APOLLO AS HE HANGS FROM THE FLAG POLE.

Apollo: If you drop me, man, I'm never letting you GM again!

CUT TO A SCENE OF A MOTORCYCLE RACING OUT OF THE OPEN DOOR OF A FLYING JET AIRLINER.

CUT TO A SCENE OF PIERRE AND FANNIE KISSING PASSIONATELY IN A SHOWER.

CUT TO PIERRE TOSSING A LIVE GRENADE TO APOLLO WHO, IN TURN, TOSSES IT OVER HIS SHOULDER.

LONG SHOT AS THE GRENADE EXPLODES AND THEY DIVE FOR COVER.

CUT TO A SCENE OF A CAR EXPLODING VIOLENTLY INTO THE AIR AND FOLDING IN THE MIDDLE.

CUT TO AN OLDER MAN WALKING DOWN THE STREET WITH GROCERIES IN HIS ARMS. PIERRE YELLS FROM OFF CAMERA.

Pierre: Father!

THE OLDER MAN LOOKS UP, SURPRISED. CUT TO A LONG SHOT AS AN EXPLOSION GOES OFF BEHIND PIERRE'S FATHER AS HE AWKWARDLY RUNS TOWARDS THE CAMERA AND AWAY FROM THE EXPLOSION.

Announcer: With Harrison Bored as a man way too old to be doing action movies...

CUT TO AN PLEASURE BOAT CRASHING INTO A DOCK AND SKIPPING UP INTO THE AIR.

CUT TO A CLOSE-UP ON SOME FOUR-SIDED DICE SKITTERING ACROSS A SIDEWALK. LONG SHOT OF NINJAS RUNNING ONTO THE DICE AND FALLING OVER IN PAIN.

CUT TO PIERRE AND APOLLO RUNNING DOWN A SIDEWALK.

Apollo: I told you those things were good for something! Useful as a d30 my...

CUT TO A SCENE OF A CAR EXPLODING VIOLENTLY INTO THE AIR.

CUT TO A STEAM TUNNEL. PIERRE AND APOLLO RUN CAUTIOUSLY, LOOKING BEHIND THEM. APOLLO STOPS. THE MUSIC STOPS.

Apollo: Are you sure you know where you're going, Pierre?

PIERRE CONTINUES TO RUN.

Pierre: Of course I do. I used to play D&D down here.

THE MUSIC STARTS AGAIN. APOLLO NODS AND STARTS RUNNING.

CUT TO PIERRE CHASING GENERAL MAGAZINE ON JET-SKIS ON A RIVER CROWDED WITH BIG SHIPS ALL AROUND THEM.

CUT TO THE INSIDE OF A HOBBY SHOP. THE CAMERA PANS IN SLOW MOTION ACROSS THE STUNNED FACES OF THE PATRONS. THE MUSIC STOPS. SFX -- A HEART-BEAT.

Announcer: A Jerry Brickmeister production...

CUT TO PIERRE RUNNING IN SLOW MOTION AND DIVING ACROSS A SHELVING UNIT. SFX -- A HEART-BEAT.

Announcer: of an Alan Smithee film...

CUT TO PIERRE REACHING OUT IN SLOW MOTION AND GRABBING HOLD OF A LONE COPY OF _EXTREME VENGEANCE_ AND THEN TUMBLING TO THE GROUND. SFX -- A HEART-BEAT.

Pierre: It's miiiiiiine!

Announcer: _Vengeance is Mine_

FADE TO BLACK.

FADE IN. APOLLO STANDS NEXT TO PIERRE ON A BUSY SIDEWALK. BOTH ARE WEARING HEAVILY SHREDDED CLOTHING. APOLLO REACHES OVER AND YANKS A BOOK FROM PIERRE'S HANDS.

Apollo: I think I want to GM this time.

APOLLO TURNS AND WALKS AWAY FROM A STUNNED PIERRE.

FADE TO BLACK.

Announcer: Coming this summer to a theater near you.

Back to the other entries

[ Read FAQ | Subscribe to RSS | Partner Sites | Contact Us | Advertise with Us ]

Copyright © 1996-2009 Skotos Tech, Inc. & individual authors, All Rights Reserved
Compilation copyright © 1996-2009 Skotos Tech, Inc.
RPGnet® is a registered trademark of Skotos Tech, Inc., all rights reserved.