The Inside Scoop on Gaming

RPGnet, the noted role-playing industry site, reported on an astounding new marketing 'secret' discovered just this past month. Editor Sandy Antunes immediately set about implementing the new "Hot Chicks Who Games" look-and-feel for the site.

The astounding secret was discovered when Sandy's 'soapbox' about starting an internet business drew only 2000 readers and 3 forum threads. Meanwhile, the debut of Hot Lesbian Action in Conan's "They Kissed" registered an astounding 500,000 readers and over three thousand forum threads, nearly melting the servers.

"Clearly this is a need we did not anticipate," noted Sandy. Sandy went on to indicate future changes for the roundup of columns as a whole, citing the need to maximize return for the site's shareholders.

"Hilary and Meera's columns-- you know, we were thinking of setting them up with a two-way, something like that. The 'Fantasy' column will be totally redesigned under this new principle, and even 'Horror' can be expected to add a few 'naughty' elements."

Changes are also in the works for 'Bag o' Nifties' and 'Hard Science', and of course 'Fiddly Bits' will get some special revamping. "We're trying to get Sergio to let Mendes Pinto visit some mermaids during his 'voyage', if you get my drift," added Sandy with a wink.

"It's simple business. Give the people what they want!" perked up Emma, the curvaceous owner, who then had to quickly dash off to help Ivy strip off all her clothing.

Works by Jocelyn, Shannon, Chris, Aeon, Mithras, J.S., and other 'non-gendered' names-- even Sandy's-- were going to quickly be re-branded with the new 'Sex Sells' mantra. "If people can't see what we're wearing," offered Sandy, "who is to say we aren't really hot chicks who game?"

Sandy was quick to reassure readers that RPGsex's journalistic integrity and core focus wouldn't shift under this new approach.

"We're still doing hard-hitting action all day and night, furiously pumping out content to sooth your fevered imaginations, providing a way for you to reach out each night and touch your fellow gamer and deeply probe their interests."

Shares of RPGsex (New York Ticker: RPGnet) zoomed up 20 points on the news. "That's the kind of rise we hope everyone will get," quipped Sandy. Introduction of the new subscription-only pay-per-view live-video site at a low, low $29.95 per month for the best in uncensored gaming content will take place next week.

Editor's note: an earlier, unnoticed version of this piece appeared last month under the title "Statistical Analysis of RPGnet Columnist Web Trends". We apologize for any confusion that may have resulted by this re-release.

Until next month,
Sandy Antunes, sandy@rpg.net

Soapbox: About the Industry

Leading Industry Site Reports Secret: Sex Sells!

What do you think?

All Soapboxes

Other columns at RPGnet


Soapbox: About the Industry Leading Industry Site Reports Secret: Sex Sells! by Sandy Antunes September 4, 2001	RPGnet, the noted role-playing industry site, reported on an astounding new marketing 'secret' discovered just this past month. Editor Sandy Antunes immediately set about implementing the new "Hot Chicks Who Games" look-and-feel for the site. The astounding secret was discovered when Sandy's 'soapbox' about starting an internet business drew only 2000 readers and 3 forum threads. Meanwhile, the debut of Hot Lesbian Action in Conan's "They Kissed" registered an astounding 500,000 readers and over three thousand forum threads, nearly melting the servers. "Clearly this is a need we did not anticipate," noted Sandy. Sandy went on to indicate future changes for the roundup of columns as a whole, citing the need to maximize return for the site's shareholders. "Hilary and Meera's columns-- you know, we were thinking of setting them up with a two-way, something like that. The 'Fantasy' column will be totally redesigned under this new principle, and even 'Horror' can be expected to add a few 'naughty' elements." Changes are also in the works for 'Bag o' Nifties' and 'Hard Science', and of course 'Fiddly Bits' will get some special revamping. "We're trying to get Sergio to let Mendes Pinto visit some mermaids during his 'voyage', if you get my drift," added Sandy with a wink. "It's simple business. Give the people what they want!" perked up Emma, the curvaceous owner, who then had to quickly dash off to help Ivy strip off all her clothing. Works by Jocelyn, Shannon, Chris, Aeon, Mithras, J.S., and other 'non-gendered' names-- even Sandy's-- were going to quickly be re-branded with the new 'Sex Sells' mantra. "If people can't see what we're wearing," offered Sandy, "who is to say we aren't really hot chicks who game?" Sandy was quick to reassure readers that RPGsex's journalistic integrity and core focus wouldn't shift under this new approach. "We're still doing hard-hitting action all day and night, furiously pumping out content to sooth your fevered imaginations, providing a way for you to reach out each night and touch your fellow gamer and deeply probe their interests." Shares of RPGsex (New York Ticker: RPGnet) zoomed up 20 points on the news. "That's the kind of rise we hope everyone will get," quipped Sandy. Introduction of the new subscription-only pay-per-view live-video site at a low, low $29.95 per month for the best in uncensored gaming content will take place next week. Editor's note: an earlier, unnoticed version of this piece appeared last month under the title "Statistical Analysis of RPGnet Columnist Web Trends". We apologize for any confusion that may have resulted by this re-release. Until next month, Sandy Antunes, sandy@rpg.net