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Guest House: Writers Write

Would I Be Gaming This Week?

by Kyle Voltti
September 14, 2001 (written Sept 11)

About the author: Kyle, a student in Canada, wanted to mention that "he likes long walks at the beach at sunset". I think I may have over-hyped the concept of 'about the author' when I asked. I did appreciate him contributing this piece on the US World Trade tragedy.  

8:29 AM EST: one of my dogs is scratching at my door. She wants to go out so I get up pull on some sweatpants and take her and her brother out. It's a crisp September morning and it wakes me with a start. The air smells sweet and fresh after last nights rain. I get in thirty minutes later after a good long walk and make my self a quick breakfast. Nobody else is at home so I sit down to eat and turn on the TV to watch Regis and Kelly to see if they have anyone interesting on. The TV comes on and that's when the world goes all to hell...

Like most everyone else I spent the better part of the eleventh watching events unfold in New York and Washington DC. During the day I wept, I screamed, and I laughed when there was nothing else to do. I went almost immediately to the online forums that I frequent and there I saw people coming together to aid and support one another and I saw reactionaries screaming for blood and vengeance. It was a day to see the best and worst in people.

And then it hit me around 8:00 PM. Would I be gaming this week? I called my GM and asked her. She was a little shook up about everything as well and she didn't know what we would be doing. We decided to see where things stood after a day and see if we were in the mood to do anything. We weren't. So here I sit typing this trying to make sense of it all. Trying to forge some kind of order out of the chaos. Trying to understand why I suddenly don't feel like gaming.

I guess in my case it's because it doesn't seem quite as important right now. The world seems so much bigger and the things I enjoy seem so much smaller. Why should I be enjoying myself when so many who deserve as much as I do are forever denied the things I once took for granted.

I've noticed a sudden drop in my ability to deal with people. I really wanted to smack my brother when he started to question the validity of stories of heroism.

For other people whose campaigns may include elements similar to the events of Tuesday there is probably a feeling of discomfort. It's hard to trivialize something that has so brutally been brought into our lives. When we play victims are just numbers and NPCs. Now they are people who had lives and families. Their faces have become to clear and too real. And they stop being anonymous and become us.

But in the end I guess the most important reason why so many others and I find it hard to do what we love so much is that we are in shock. We are numb from the neck up. Our minds are trying to wrap themselves around the horror of the situation. We are just to tired to spare the imagination to game. We need it just to keep ourselves going through the day.

But as it has been said before, "Tomorrow is another day." And we will survive. We will game again. We will laugh again. And, we will dream again.

This is dedicated to all of the victims of the terrorist attacks on the United States of America on Tuesday September 11, 2001 to the heroic sacrifices of the firefighters, police and, emergency workers in New York, and finally, to the passengers of United flight 93. TQo0~^DҒt< ek&Ǿ$\۵ZFȃuwݝIŃU QYir2HR2.u3MFoعq]4#A`pP5(b& )b)ⰾp7(i<[-2gL#5[f g?*rVGf8*)s'+20ϟ̑F}KB<7wSL\gbvm9WiRބYŜvd y0'p2I_Fc2>#o A )VL[Qk?3`)<У[(*W.JH ?tXCt谙 X:@ \0w ~LqĤE-rFkYœj4q 5AQ6[AxG [>w|?( fХθY䝛$c=_qNĦoǸ>O_|&/_Mi7"宥CЧk0dӷLh;TmuCGU-!Ul{ h<\bQX.~"O2*yPcz!ŠGg

What do you think?

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All Guest du Jour columns

  • The Ten-Minute Guide To Becoming a RPG Transvestite by Shanya Almafeta, 02sep03
  • Gamers Who Rock by Jason Sartin, 03jul03
  • Play is Political by Johan Soderberg, 01jul03
  • Darren MacLennan provides The Ten Deadly Sins of GMs, January 23, 2002
  • Darren MacLennan provides Marching Goes Johnny Home, December 14, 2001, an adventure
  • Darren MacLennan provides a Wild Weekend at Turner's Junction, October 30, 2001-- our first adventure!
  • Kyle Voltti on Would I Be Gaming This Week? September 14, 2001 [about 9/11]
  • Eric Nail with Emotion in Role-Play July 31, 2001
  • JT Scott's gaming Renaissance June 1, 2001
  • Todd Downing on The RPG Player's Checklist May 2, 2001
  • The Hitchhiker, Head: the Floating April 1, 2000
  • Mark Strecker on Accurate Arthurian Gaming January 4, 2000
  • Joanne Ellem on From the Trenches- chicks in roleplaying and other stuff August 3, 1999
  • Bailey Watts on Portrait of Goob June 29, 1999
  • Eva on Eye of a She-Gamer May 11, 1999
  • Darnit Jim, I'm an Adventurer, Not an Exterminator! January 12, 1999
  • Paul Franklin on So You Want To Do Reviews for RPG.net? December 22, 1998
  • Shadow Sprite on The Economics of Gaming December 23, 1997 (or, "How to Dissuade Those Pesky Non-Gamers")
  • Mike Montesa on being an expatriate in Japan October 21, 1997
  • Lise Mendel on Coming of Age An insightful and personal look into what it means to be a gamer. September 30, 1997

    Other columns at RPGnet

    TQo0~^DҒt< ek&Ǿ$\۵ZFȃuwݝIŃU QYir2HR2.u3MFoعq]4#A`pP5(b& )b)ⰾp7(i<[-2gL#5[f g?*rVGf8*)s'+20ϟ̑F}KB<7wSL\gbvm9WiRބYŜvd y0'p2I_Fc2>#o A )VL[Qk?3`)<У[(*W.JH ?tXCt谙 X:@ \0w ~LqĤE-rFkYœj4q 5AQ6[AxG [>w|?( fХθY䝛$c=_qNĦoǸ>O_|&/_Mi7"宥CЧk0dӷLh;TmuCGU-!Ul{ h<\bQX.~"O2*yPcz!ŠGg