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Hack For More

WEEK 30: 11/02/04

by Edward McEneely
Nov 16,2004

 

Hack For More

WEEK 30: 11/02/04

Wow. Week 30. It seems like only yesterday we were a bunch of young hippies with a dream, a talent for on-stage nudity and spontaneous singing.

Oh, wait, that's crappy Broadway staple Rent. Nevermind.

Week 30 saw me turning things up a notch in the violence department as the players found themselves dealing with 6/VIII Far Patrol of the Southern Orc League Combined Forces.

As they observed the Orcs and their baggage train arrive, the PCs dickered over what to do. Impressibvely, Erich actually decided to try and parley with them, rather than nuking the lot of them with his fireball wand. He's really been working hard to stay in-character and in-alignment, and I've really been quite impressed.

Even if, you know, it was a really stupid idea.

Erich took an arrow and beat a hasty retreat while the other PCs set about building a crude barricade in the main entryway of the keep, hoping to slow the Orcs down and kill them with ranged firepower before they could get too close. Of course, only Laura and Erich had any ranged firepower, and none of it was exactly a renewable resource.

Nonetheless, as the first squad of Orcs charged in behind a Trash Ogre, Erich nuked them with his wand, killing the entire squad and causing the Orcish attack to grind to a halt while they sent in a representative to parley.

At first things seemed to go well, but Erich and Laura both noticed that the Orc was scouting out their position as he spoke, and another squad seemed to be sneaking in. The false herald was dispatched as well as more of the Orcs, but now the numbers were becoming overwhelming as the remaining Orcs and their Ogres rushed in to attack.

Laura engaged them with Sidewinder fireballs and the party fell back to an alternate position, where they were swarmed by the remaining Orcs and Ogres. It was a tough fight, and Erich went down to 0 hitppoints for a while, but the outcome wasn't ever really in doubt. When the smoke cleared, the players had killed fifty-four Orcs and four Ogres, plus the hapless Goblins of the baggage train. This, incidentally, is more monsters in one session than in the last two sessions combined.

Once the Orcs were dead and their commander had fled, the PCs stumbled across Part Two of the plot: the payroll in the baggage train was Elvish gold. The orders that the Half-Orcish patrol commander had left behind were written in both Elvish and Orcish, and the PCs began to get a little worried.

Well, good.

Hey The Laptop Sure Takes Quotes Good:

Ed: Just by living, you're all going to die.

Ed (reading off Erich's randomly-generated spells): Ignite. Ignite. Ignite. Seth: Your spell-list is starting to sound like a Rage Against the Machine album.

Seth: Are we willing to trade our lives for the keep? Ed: That wouldn't be much of a trade, would it?

Laura: How many orcs are there? Ed: About 50. Erich: We've dealt with that many before. ...Granted, not all at once.

Laura: Do we still have that wand of stone to mud? Erich: What wand? Ed: You mean the one from Erich's adventure?

Ed: Signed, the underlord, Sak-Lar Erich: Sak-Lar? I went to school with him!

Seth (as Colonel Sanders): Why, I shall set this trident to recieve a charge!

Ed: Ah, the orcs have been carrying around a mimic for their payroll.

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What do you think?

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