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 Gaming is a Man's Hobby
Author: GoblinsManifesto (---.gtei.net)
Date:   12-07-2001 19:06

Wow, this message is going to get flamed!

Gaming is a Man's Hobby

After 20 years of being a GM at home and conventions nationwide, I have seen and played it all. And I have never had a truly great game with women around. I've had some good games with women and many of the women have been good roleplayers and good people, but invariably their presence damaged the game. And here's why: the presence of women at the gaming table changes the tone of the event and ruins the camaraderie.

First, accept that men and women are different. If your worldview demands that women are better, so be it. Either way, equal does not mean the same. We are different. Our bodies, our minds, our thoughts and our history are not yours. We are strangers to your world and you are alien to us.

Men cannot be truly at ease when a woman is there to be offended, coddled or deferred to. Society has smashed feminizing so hard into American men that even during a really good game, most find themselves altering their behavior to appease the woman or behaving in a polite manner or even acting out their frustration as jerks. Actions and conversations are guarded and edited. And the fun suffers. I hate to admit it, but I often find myself being extra attentive to a female gamer. And let's not even begin to discuss the lovely couple who games together.

Worse, we now have feminized men so pathetic that they can't cut loose in an all-guy game. I'm not even talking about playing Thrudd the Barbarian grabbing the bar wenches or screwing the Medusa. I am talking about that special camaraderie that only exists when a bunch of men can let down their guard. Don't ask a guy to explain it. There is just something right when we can all sit down as brothers.
Society (not just women) has taught so many men that any behavior or thoughts or words that their mother / nun / schoolmarm would not approve is taboo / wrong / ugly / dumb/etc. Such thinking denies their essential manhood.

For many gamers, the table is more than a gathering. It's a sacred place to bond with each other on a level quite different from other relationships. Most gamers join the hobby in junior high or high school when many of their peers are getting into sports teams. We all sought out a place for bonding of friendships between men, but so many of us have lost that place in the politically correct torrent of the 90s and today. For many of us gamers, the RPG table was our sacred place.

Some will rant that women add something to a game. Yes, that's true.
They bring a different energy and different perspective. Which proves my point. Their presence alters the atmosphere. An altered atmosphere is not a better one.

So what is a female gamer to do? I am sure they will impose themselves somewhere. Sometimes even in my games. And we will play nice and make nice and have a good game.

Am I trying to say that every "mens only" game is automaticly great? Not at all. But the potential is only there for the RPG experience to transcend the rules, the story and the characters into a moment of bonding. Many will say it is socially cruel, evil and wrong to exclude someone because of gender. Many will say that my thinking is backwards, and it is. But the truth is behind us, not with us and certainly, not ahead of us.













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 Topics Author  Date
 Gaming is a Man's Hobby  
GoblinsManifesto 12-07-2001 19:06 
 Re: RPGs and "male bonding."  new
NC 12-07-2001 21:51 
 Disclaimer  new
NCina 12-10-2001 17:35 
 I just have one thing to say.  new
Death 05-30-2002 18:40 
 Re: RPGs and "male bonding."  new
NC 12-07-2001 21:51 
 RE: Gaming is a Man's Hobby  new
Gerg Da Blind 12-08-2001 01:04 
 Woah boy.  new
Tiama'at 12-08-2001 09:00 
 you pussy-whipped, boy  new
Jeff Zahari 12-10-2001 03:57 
 Wow....  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 12-10-2001 11:56 
 RE: Wow....  new
Tiama'at 12-10-2001 13:12 
 KITSCH  new
NC 12-10-2001 16:03 
 RE: KITSCH  new
Tiama'at 12-10-2001 18:00 
 RE: KITSCH  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 12-11-2001 10:52 
 RE: KITSCH  new
Tiama'at 12-11-2001 11:00 
 RE: KITSCH  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 12-12-2001 04:40 
 RE: KITSCH  new
Tiama'at 12-12-2001 06:01 
 RE: KITSCH  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 12-13-2001 18:21 
 RE: KITSCH  new
Tiama'at 12-14-2001 06:40 
 RE: KITSCH  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 12-15-2001 00:23 
 RE: KITSCH  new
Carpe_DM 12-24-2001 20:18 
 RE: KITSCH  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 01-10-2002 03:56 
 RE: KITSCH  new
iceberg3k 02-11-2002 21:44 
 RE: KITSCH  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-13-2002 04:35 
 RE: KITSCH  new
iceberg3k 02-13-2002 18:11 
 Polyamour  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-15-2002 13:07 
 Polyamour or Fiancee?  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-15-2002 13:18 
 RE: Polyamour or Fiancee?  new
iceberg3k 02-15-2002 20:54 
 RE: Polyamour or Fiancee?  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-17-2002 07:32 
 RE: Polyamour or Fiancee?  new
iceberg3k 02-17-2002 08:59 
 Let me refute your points if you will answer them  new
Charlemagne 02-15-2002 13:38 
 RE: Let me refute your points if you will answer t  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-17-2002 07:23 
 RE: Let me refute your points if you will answer t  new
Charlemagne 02-17-2002 08:02 
 RE: Let me refute your points if you will answer t  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-19-2002 04:47 
 RE: Oh no! You've found me out!  new
NCina 12-10-2001 16:15 
 RE: Wow....  new
Gerg Da Blind 12-10-2001 23:01 
 RE: Wow....  new
blackguard 12-11-2001 01:35 
 RE: Wow....  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 12-18-2001 10:03 
 RE: Wow....  new
Mobius 01-28-2002 00:50 
 Mobius is Blackguard, BTW  new
Mobius 01-28-2002 01:13 
 Utterly random note  new
Tamoline 01-29-2002 06:53 
 RE: Utterly random note  new
Mobius 01-29-2002 20:37 
 So...You're The Greatest...  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 01-29-2002 08:15 
 So, you're the meanest ...  new
Mobius 01-29-2002 10:02 
 So, You're A Politician Now  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-01-2002 11:37 
 RE: So, You're A Politician Now  new
Mobius 02-03-2002 03:56 
 Now That....  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-05-2002 11:49 
 RE: Now That....  new
Mobius 02-05-2002 18:35 
 Do me a favor...  new
Jon 12-17-2001 15:54 
 RE: Do me a favor...  new
Tiama'at 12-17-2001 23:42 
 RE: Do me a favor...  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 12-18-2001 09:32 
 Fear?  new
Tiama'at 12-18-2001 09:57 
 Yes, Fear  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 12-18-2001 10:19 
 RE: Yes, Fear  new
Tiama'at 12-18-2001 10:50 
 Chivalry is a code of behavior  new
Charlemagne 01-30-2002 21:24 
 Chivalry is a code of behavior  new
Charlemagne 01-30-2002 21:24 
 RE: Do me a favor...  new
Jon 12-19-2001 17:59 
 RE: Do me a favor...  new
Tiama'at 12-20-2001 12:26 
 I've gamed with both (the real story)  new
Charlemagne 01-31-2002 01:28 
 RE: Do me a favor... (part 2)  new
Tiama'at 12-20-2001 12:47 
 RE: Do me a favor... (part 2)  new
Jon 12-21-2001 10:01 
 RE: Do me a favor... (part 2)  new
Mobius 01-31-2002 00:00 
 Conduct, Language, and Women  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 01-31-2002 06:42 
 RE: Conduct, Language, and Women  new
Charlemagne 01-31-2002 10:08 
 RE: Do me a favor...  new
Magnus 01-26-2002 14:18 
 RE: Gaming is a Man's Hobby  new
Quixote One 01-25-2002 17:44 
 Right  new
Azhrarn 02-04-2002 05:26 
 RE: Right  new
iceberg3k 02-11-2002 21:05 
 RE: Right  new
Jon 02-12-2002 19:17 
 RE: Right  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-13-2002 04:46 
 RE: Right  new
iceberg3k 02-13-2002 17:40 
 RE: Right  new
Jon 02-13-2002 19:35 
 RE: Right  new
Charlemagne 02-13-2002 23:32 
 Left  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-15-2002 13:38 
 RE: Left  new
Charlemagne 02-15-2002 13:46 
 RE: Left  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-17-2002 07:59 
 RE: Left  new
Charlemagne 02-17-2002 09:46 
 RE: Left  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-19-2002 05:35 
 RE: Left  new
Charlemagne 02-19-2002 11:13 
 RE: Left  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-20-2002 10:57 
 RE: Left  new
Charlemagne 02-20-2002 12:39 
 RE: Left  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-21-2002 01:31 
 RE: Left  new
Charlemagne 02-21-2002 10:50 
 RE: Left  new
Jon 02-15-2002 21:33 
 RE: Left  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-17-2002 07:50 
 RE: Left  new
Jon 02-17-2002 13:17 
 Absolutely Not RPG Topical  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-19-2002 08:22 
 I'll agree with that  new
Jon 02-19-2002 11:44 
 RE: Absolutely Not RPG Topical  new
iceberg3k 02-19-2002 11:53 
 Weasling?  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-20-2002 10:12 
 RE: Weasling?  new
iceberg3k 02-20-2002 11:57 
 RE: Weasling?  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-21-2002 01:25 
 RE: Weasling?  new
Mobius 02-28-2002 19:42 
 RE: Absolutely Not RPG Topical  new
Mobius 02-28-2002 13:31 
 RE: Left  new
Jon 02-17-2002 18:59 
 RE: Left  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-19-2002 08:33 
 RE: Left  new
iceberg3k 02-19-2002 11:34 
 RE: Left  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-20-2002 10:54 
 Oh ho ho! The truth comes out... :)  new
Mike 02-20-2002 14:43 
 RE: Oh ho ho! The truth comes out... :)  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-21-2002 01:11 
 RE: Oh ho ho! The truth comes out... :)  new
Nevrmind 02-25-2002 05:52 
 RE: Oh ho ho! The truth comes out... :)  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-25-2002 08:07 
 May I ask a few questions?  new
Jon 02-25-2002 10:27 
 RE: May I ask a few questions?  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-26-2002 09:09 
 Information from the ranter.  new
Charlemagne 02-26-2002 10:59 
 RE: May I ask a few questions?  new
Nevrmind 02-26-2002 12:30 
 RE: May I ask a few questions?  new
Mike 02-28-2002 07:07 
 RE: Oh ho ho! The truth comes out... :)  new
Nevrmind 02-26-2002 05:19 
 RE: Oh ho ho! The truth comes out... :)  new
Charlemagne 02-26-2002 08:20 
 RE: Oh ho ho! The truth comes out... :)  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-26-2002 09:18 
 RE: Oh ho ho! The truth comes out... :)  new
Charlemagne 02-26-2002 14:47 
 RE: Oh ho ho! The truth comes out... :)  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 02-26-2002 09:14 
 RE: Left  new
Jon 02-19-2002 12:11 
 RE: Left  new
Mobius 02-28-2002 20:05 
 RE: Left  new
Mobius 02-28-2002 19:46 
 The Real Question...  new
Mobius 02-28-2002 20:07 
 RE: The Real Question...  new
Mobius 03-03-2002 19:13 
 RE: Left  new
Mobius 02-28-2002 13:05 
 RE: Left  new
caryn elizabeth mallard 03-02-2002 04:51 
 RE: Left  new
Mobius 03-03-2002 23:10 

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