Author: Breklor (---.gc.ca)
Date: 09-16-2002 15:45
I keep running into people in gaming, the SCA, and other geek pastimes who are also practicing alternate forms of sexuality (gay, bi, BDSM, polyamory, etc.)
I think the central defining characteristic is that these are people who have examined what the mainstream is telling them to do and aren't satisfied with it. We're looking for a better way than what is offered to us by cable TV and top 40 bubblegum radio.
Granted, *being* gay is not a choice - but *living* gay is.
> SCA
There are certain social principles espoused in the SCA - honour, chivalry, fairness, courtesy - that are at best given lip service in modern society. At the same time, there's a much more casual attitude toward flirting - again, you're allowed to express attraction to more than one person at a time. Many of the people who participate in the SCA seek to incorporate these principles into their mundane lives. Plus, the clothing is gorgeous and you get to hit people with sticks. How cool is THAT?
> BDSM
Mainstream society offers us a choice of two possible power dtructures in a sexual relationship: Man on top, or absolute equality all the time. While I (and most people I know) do believe in absolute equality overall, BDSM'ers enjoy experimenting with the power structure of a relationship, and indulging certain fetishes, in ways that mainstream society often frowns upon. Plus, the clothing is gorgeous and you get to hit people with whips. How cool is THAT?
> Sci-Fi
SF - *good* SF - often deals with alternate methods of building and running a society, and while it usually also concerns itself with some form of advanced technology, much SF is really just thinly disguised social commentary - read anything by William Gibson or Robert A. Heinlein, for example. Plus, the clothing... oh, you get the point.
> Roleplaying
RPGs provide a safe structure within which to experiment with different attitudes and different ways of acting. You can get at least a first-order approximation of what will happen to you if you stomp around being evil to people, or if you are a perfectly good and noble person, or anything in between and to any side. They're also a game form that promotes cooperation rather than competition - a rare thing in our society. And your character gets gorgeous clothing and a big stick (sword, staff, wand, mace, whatever.)
> Computers
The other day I decided to see what kind of weird shit I could find on the Internet, so I typed in "Find pictures of midgets having sex with goats on fire" and my search engine came back with "Specify type of goat". (If I could remember which standup comedian I stole that line from, I'd credit him.) The fact is that while we
bi-geek-pagan-SCAdian-gamer-BDSMing-anime freaks compose a fairly small percentage of the population, the 'Net is an awfully convenient way to meet, to organize, and to publicize in such a fashion that only the people who want our information need to be exposed to it. You can also download lots of pictures of gorgeous clothing and games involving people hitting each other with sticks.
> Anime
BECAUSE NORTH AMERICAN ANIMATION IS (by and large, and I acknowledge there are many exceptions, but mostly) CRAP! Anime is generally aimed at a mature audience - not necessarily in the sense that North American media defines it, where the only "mature" animation is stuff like Fritz the Cat and Heavy Metal (not terribly mature stuff, IMHO). Some of the costumes are gorgeous and there are people carrying REALLY humongous sticks.
> Paganism
Paganism is not only an alternative religious/spiritual system (set of
systems? collection of system-like things? bunch of nekkid people running around in the woods?), it's also very sex-positive and generally short on taboos. "An it harm none, do what thou wilt" is a very liberating "commandment". Pagans also dress nicely (or run around nekkid, which is itself gorgeous) and carry wands and staves and athames and stuff, but they aren't supposed to hit people with them.
I think if I have to draw three general commonalities between all these things, they are:
- an interest in exploring modalities of daily living, spirituality, emotional and sexual relationship outside those prescribed to us by mainstream North American society
- a belief that we are intelligent, mature, and responsible enough to take responsibility for our own welfare while we set out on our explorations, rather than accepting society's insistence that "You'll hurt yourself or someone else if you do that. Be good and don't scare us."
- an interest in gorgeous clothing and the use of sticks.
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