Author: Chris Chinn (---.comcast.net)
Date: 04-17-2003 12:48
Since you were kind enough to take interest in my column and requested that I review your work, I've taken a quick look through and will give you my initial thoughts:
First, and most important: What is the focus of your game?
As it stands now, it would appear to be about simulating "adventurous" life in the 15-1600's, correct? Complete with world traveling, etc. You will need to make the "hook" of this game more clear to players near the beginning of your game, and give the GMs a lot of advice of how to run it.
Unlike fantasy, where everyone knows a rampaging dragon is exciting, few people are familiar enough with the history to understand the adventure of, say, Ethiopia being thrown into civil war, disrupting some serious trade routes and safe passages for Christians...
Second, and going more off of the "focus of the game" issue...
What is the focus of your mechanics?
Right now your mechanics seem to focus on how much "intent" a character has towards acheiving a goal, but there doesn't seem to be much guidelines or rules towards defining that.
Most games give the player options to define how commited they are, ranging from a pool of points or dice to commit on a metagame level to being able to choose a level of risk involved(I'll risk getting killed over this!). As it stands now, you might as well use Fudge, the Window, or even GURPS to play this setting, only changing the odds of success over to "How much I want it".
Continuing on this, you have a great deal of simulation mechanics, which doesn't really seem necessary for such a rules lite mechanic. Perhaps having a clearer focus for your game and mechanics will allow you to simplify, condense, and make more concise your rules, allowing you to focus more on the setting and the "feel" of the game.
Finally, something that Ron Edwards' has brought up recently in regards to many games, there is a lot of "hand-holding" going on. That is to say, you take almost a page to introduce the basic mechanic which can be put forth in a single paragraph, you take almost another page to explain what the role of players and the GM is, etc. Most people who roleplay will not need this information. Those who do need it, will need it in a more clear manner. Like a drawing, you should not have to explain what "it" is, a game should be able to speak for itself.
Overall, I am intrigued by the history presented in this game. I just think that having a clear focus of the game would do wonders for giving people a grasp on it, and perhaps dropping the "extra rules for everything" would help as well. Also, do not feel that you need to explain as if you are speaking to non-roleplayers, I doubt there is that many fans of the 16th century trade who are just waiting to be introduced to roleplaying who haven't heard of it.
Chris
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