Wushu Skidoo
As usual, Jonas defaults to Plan D: he drops down on all fours and starts lapping water out of a bowl on the floor. When Bartlett steps foot inside the foyer, Jonas trots out with all the enthusiasm he can muster. "Bark, bark, bark!" He hopes Tonya hears it. He knows neither of them are that lucky.
"Hey there, boy." Bartlett tosses his newspaper on the table and ruffles Jonas' hair. "Looks like you got into the trash again. No Alpo for you, tonight." Jonas does his best to look disappointed. "Why don't you go fetch my slippers?"
Great. Like I know where your damn slippers are. He finds a dog toy in the living room, decides it'll do. He catches up to Bartlett in the study, where the old man has Tonya under a microscope. She's standing ramrod straight in one corner of the study, a lampshade perched precariously on her head. Bartlett's eyes are either glued to her chest or...
"Bark bark. He's looking for the string. Bark."
Tonya's hand pops up like a Jack-in-the-box; she dangles a pinky finger just below her chin. The man gives it a couple of frustrated yanks before sighing, turning, and trundling down to the basement for a spare lightbulb.
"Nice one," Jonas smirks as he liberates his partner from the lampshade.
"Yeah, like yours was any better. At least my breath doesn't smell of dog." She waves a fistful of legal papers in his face and flashes a Cheshire grin. "Let's get the hell outta here before he notices I broke his wall safe."
Happy Prankster's Day! This April's installment puts a new, po-mo spin on some old school pranking. My take on trickster mythology owes more to Bugs Bunny than the likes of Coyote, Raven, or Loki, but I hope you can see how the one could have given birth to the other. Oh, and it's written in-character, for some reason. Don't let it throw ya.
The Rules
Okay. So, you've got this power, but it kinda sucks. You can make people see things, but only things they want or expect to see. Remember that one episode of The X-Files? The one were that guy walked into FBI headquarters by writing "PASS" on a piece of paper and wearing it like a badge? Yeah, it's a lot like that. The guard expected to see an ID badge, because he sees hundreds of them every day, and so that's exactly what he saw. It's good for flying below the radar, but that's about it.
Quick aside: That example reminds me of something else. You can't just look at somebody and will them to see things. This ain't telepathy. You gotta talk them into it, use a prop, or act it out in some way. There's gotta be a trick to it. No such thing as a free lunch, even when you pay with Monopoly money.
If you wanna make someone see something unexpected, you gotta play off their desires. Show them something they want to see, and their eyes will follow their brain. Put on a wig and speak in a breathy voice, lonely men will see a beautiful woman. Draw dollar signs on a bag of dirty socks, greedy people will see rolls of bills. Guess wrong, though, pick something that your mark doesn't really care about, and you'll just end up looking like an ass.
Speaking of which, don't try this on large groups of people or through any kind of device. It don't work on camera or over the phone. This is strictly street magic, the short con. It wears off pretty quick, too. As soon as you're gone and the rube takes a second to think, the illusion evaporates. And that's not even the part that sucks.
Try to use your power for selfish reasons, like profit or revenge, and it always bites you in the ass. Maybe your emotions taint the magic, or maybe your subconscious desires bleed into your mark's mind, or maybe karma's just a bitch. Whatever. The point is: Don't do it. Even if you get lucky and nothing happens to take away your money or sour your victory, the Spinners will come knockin' at your door (but we'll get to them in a minute).
About the only thing your power's good for is taking pompous jerkbags down a peg or three. That's pretty much all we can do. Good-lookin' guys who think they're God's gift to women, corrupt politicos who piss away other people's money, Bible-thumping loud-mouths who burn books, brainless celebrities who believe their own hype... we bring them face to face with their own folly.
Some call it our mission. I call it fun.
Bag o' Tricks
Improvisation is the heart and soul of this gig, but here are a few bits that have served me well...
The Bugs Bunny Two-Step - Costumes are every trickster's best friend. When I'm on a job, I always bring along a dress, a wig, and few uniforms. They don't have to be remotely convincing, just enough to let your mark know what you want them to see. Having a good falsetto doesn't hurt, either.
The Subway Slide - It's not quite invisibility, but it gets the job done. Say you're being chased by some folks who haven't quite seen your face. Duck into a crowd, ditch any hat or jacket you were wearing, and start doing whatever everyone else is doing. You can hide behind a newspaper or cheer for the winning team or just stare vacantly at the person sitting in front of you. You'll blend right in.
The Ben Franklin Shuffle - True, you can't use the Gift to turn a profit, but you can use it for bribes and petty cash. Draw some extra zeros on a ten spot and get change for a hundred. Nothing could be easier. In a pinch, you can also use Monopoly money.
The Two-Finger Special - Yeah, it's juvenile, but that's par for the course. The key is conviction. Make a pistol with your thumb and index finger, then act for all the world like you're brandishing a very real, very dangerous firearm.
Plan D - When all else fails, you can pretend to be just about anything people expect to see where ever you are: a lamp, a pet, a statue, a foot rest, etc. As usual, you'll need either a prop (e.g. a lampshade) or to act the part (e.g. running around on all fours and barking your little heart out). It ain't dignified, but it beats getting caught.
Bag o' Tricksters
Coyote's Brood - Here in the states, we're all about competition. Pull off a good prank, something big or new or poetic, and you can bank on the street cred for months. Don't get me wrong, we're a strictly blue-collar operation, but we all depend on each other's hospitality to get by. Members in good standing just get their beer a little faster than the rest of us.
The only time we really pull together is when someone's trespassing on our turf, by which I mean the U S of A. Spinners come here when they think one of us is getting too big for our britches, but they're usually gone before anyone catches their scent. The real trouble comes from The Community. Those Eurotrash bastards just can't keep their fingers out of other people's pie.
The Community - Back in the 60's, some tricksters in Europe got a little too high and thought they'd figured out a way to beat the whole non-profit thing. They don't use their gift for personal gain... they use it to line the pockets of other tricksters. I don't deny that this continent-wide circle jerk has made them rich, but they should know that the house always wins. Each and every one of them meets a bad end, sooner or later. I guess they figure they'd better enjoy the ride.
They keep a low profile, relatively speaking. Thieves and con artists can't spend too much time on the front page. However, they are profoundly arrogant sons of bitches and they like to rub their pretty toys in our faces. Needless to say, this runs them right to the top of the Spinners' hit list.
Spinners of the Wheel - Hindus tend to take this whole "karma" seriously. Indian tricksters consider their power a holy gift and they use it to keep the Wheel of Dharma spinning. Some folks just can't wait for the next reincarnation, I guess.
If that were it, I'd say live and let live, but the Spinners don't endorse that philosophy. They don't think the rest of us treat their sacred power with due respect and, when one of us gets too full of themselves, the Spinners come callin'. They've been on the verge of war with The Community more times than I can count. They don't stoop to violence very often, but they love getting people sent to prison or psychiatric institutions and, unlike mundane law enforcement, they make damn sure you stay there.
(A Note on Traits - Don't bother wasting a Trait on your trickster's juju; just consider it a part of each player's narrative authority. However, you should saddle every trickster with a bonus weakness: The Catch. This represents the limitations of their power. If they ever try to use it for profit or revenge, make 'em roll against 1. Failure doesn't mean their mojo bites the dust, it just means that success bites them in the ass.)
Pick Me Ups
Bernard "Buck" Ironstag is the King of the Turnpike, the greatest used car salesman western Kansas has ever seen, and soon he'll be the mayor of Levensville, a rustic town somewhere between Colby and Garden City. With only a week left before the election, a pack of coyotes is out to expose his many mistresses (by helping them find out about each other), ruin his business (by making large purchases with fake cash), and then publicly humiliate him. For the big finale, I recommend getting him to do or admit something embarrassing during a live press conference.
A few members of The Community are about to clean out an international jewel smuggler's secret stash. Unfortunately, they are themselves the targets of a team of Spinners who want to kill two birds with one stone. They tip off some of the smuggler's underworld rivals and make sure the tricksters get caught in the crossfire. After escaping that snafu, your players will probably want to get some tasty revenge, so be sure to plan ahead.
Doctor Diana is one of New York's premier psychotherapists. Her recently released opus on the topic of humor has put her on the coyotes' hit list. The plan is to weave an old-fashioned, schizophrenic conspiracy around her: tapped phones, black helicopters, brainwashed sleeper assassins, the works. When she goes off the deep end, the tricksters have to avert a bloody rampage and keep themselves out of the headlines!
Next Up: Savage robot violence in the Datarchy future!
