It's time to evaluate how hot summer weather can drive an RPG storyline. I'm currently stuck in 90 to 100+ degree (F) temperatures with no power and no air conditioning (and no internet!). Here's the list of things I do not want to do:

1. Wear armor.
2. Fight things outdoor.
3. Walk around in the sun.
4. Sort through tiny objects while sweat drips down my face.

In short, I really don't want to be a D&D hero out adventuring right now. The list of things I do want to do:

1. Drink water.
2. Stay in cool, dark places.

Makes me sound more like Gollum than an epic RPG hero. A bad RPG would accommodate this by giving me negatives on to-hit and success rolls during any hot day. That would suck, because we specifically play RPGs to not suck. Instead, to keep escapism at a high but add some weather realism, cases of very hot weather instead can be used to enhance tactics and plot.

If I don't want to be outdoors fighting in the summer sun, it's likely monsters don't either. This leads to two useful GM tricks. For tactical players, the best time to surprise a monster is when it's taking its monsterly siesta, sleeping off the hot sun. Suddenly, your PC has a reason to slog out in the heat-- it's the perfect sneak attack. No one would expect it, as no one sane would ever go into 100-degree heat wearing metal armor.

Heck, give that PC a -1/-5% on all to-hit or success rolls-- but give them a +4/+50% on sneak, ambush, or scaring-them-with-utter-lunacy. Well worth it.

Why the heck do so many monster species live in caves or dungeons? In a hot climate, that's the coolest and wettest place to be. Ergo, dungeons could be the ultimate summer hero retreat. Sure, all the monsters are perky and awake, but at least you know there's all there inside. 100% chance of being in their lair. No wandering monsters on the approach. No chance of ambush from outside, heck, probably not even guards. Turns the dungeon into a pure and simple arena. Enter, kill, then when you need a break, just leave. Who would follow you in this heat?

Finally, there's the fact that most people act irrational during heat waves. "Romeo and Juliet" is a prime example, as the script emphasizes early on how darn hot everyone is. If heat can make a romance that leaves 5 dead in 3 days, imagine how it can help (or hurt) a PC.

For this, just let any king, patron or similar quest-granting or treasure-distributing type go a bit loco during a hot spell. Maybe the king wants his 3rd cool bath and will promise the PCs any reward just to clear out of his throneroom. "Kill the bandits in return for all the gold you can carry, sure, whatever, just let me get out of these heavy robes before I #$^ing melt".

Suddenly, any oration, request, bribe, or clever speech has a nice random "whatever it takes to make you go away" quality that can really move your campaign in new directions. Instead of cagey, nuance-laden speeches, all power figures will cut to the chase, sparing hours of ambiguity. Sure, they may not remember their promises a week later, when things cool down, but it can help get an adventure off to a very promising start.

That's all I got. If you don't like this column, let me know and I'll, err, wash your car or give you my cats or something. Really, anything, as long as you let me stop writing so I can take a cool dip in the tub.

Until next month,
Sandy
sandy at rpg.net