Sandy's Soapbox
Yes, I'm selling my upcoming April column to the highest bidder. My thousands of readers will see me not just dish out my usual brilliant prose, but also see me writhe desperately to maintain my integrity while tackling whatever topic the winner forces upon me. I'm selling myself for pennies.
How can I make a million in RPGing?
There are myriad unanswered gaming questions just waiting for my keen intellect to focus itself keenly upon with mighty mangled syntax. Ask, and I shall not answer facetiously ('to make a million in gaming... start with 2 million'), but endeavor to tackle this through research and analysis. Unanswered questions-- answered! How to get rich, which is the most artistic genre, who'd win in a fight of Baker versus Cook, these are good topics for your serious column challenges.
Synnibarr is the best RPG ever
Or perhaps you have an agenda you feel has not yet been adequately explored on the forums, or there's a topic that really demands an experienced game professional tackle it definitively. Maybe you just want to give me a contentious challenge which will ultimately alienate a majority of my readership. Fair game, I say!
Want me to justify praise of F.A.T.A.L? Argue why lesbians are better at RPGing then hets? Prove that 4th edition rulebooks are always best? I'm your writer! In fact, I dare you-- find a topic I can't somehow fake enough expertise to mangle into a semblance of truth! Just try!
Dear Abby
Perhaps you're a seeker of knowledge, burdened with a query such as "why does everyone avoid me in LARPs, despite my nice top hat" or even "how can I get a HGS [hot gaming spouse] like yours"? While normally I'd never sink to answer such, now you can force me to through the power of cold, hard cash.
This is not a joke
An eBay listing is a valid contract. And as my eBay listing offers, I will write a column on the topic and theme chosen by the winning bidder. Ever want a pundit to serve as your voice? Want a ready-made audience to listen to you for a change? Use me-- this is your moment!
Terms & Conditions
Terms, as per the eBay listing, are: I will write my April 2009 "Soapbox" using the topic and theme you request. It will be its usual length and will mention that you were the winning bidder. Your idea will thus be exposed to several thousand readers. While I can't promise you'll like the column, I will make my best writerly try to deliver something matching your intent.
So see this as a stunt or as your moment of truth. Your burning issue, written by an established writer as your willing slave, to a ready audience. At a starting bid of a penny, would could go wrong?
Your chosen topic must relate to roleplaying, tabletop roleplaying games, gaming culture, the game industry, game business, game social life, or game design. Topics cannot use a lame internet meme (e.g. Rule 34, Godwin's Law, etc), the winner cannot specify the required word length (e.g. 'write 100,000 words' is not valid), and the entry cannot be about myself, my affiliations, my inclinations, or my personal life. It must somehow connect to gaming. In turn, I pledge the entry will be written in good faith.
Remember, bid low, feel free to talk in the forums on smart (or cruel) topic ideas, and may the best bidder win.
Until (yikes) next month,
Sandy
