Sandy's Soapbox
First, I'm assuming here that the gift giver is thinking about buying them a present that relates to the recipient's hobby. The hobby here is gaming--or perhaps scifi, or fantasy, or guitar playing, or knitting, or cooking, or any hobby. The problems are the same for all hobbies-- and so are the techniques given here.
Problem: If they want it, they already have it
The first problem with buying for any hobbyist is that, if it's something they really want, they've probably already purchased it.
Solution:
With that in mind, please, gamer readers, make this vow:
Speaking as a "one for them, one for me" holiday shopper, I can well understand the temptation to buy for yourself, particularly under the Hobbyist's Delusion:
Well, that's what makes it so hard to buy you decent gifts. Don't make it worse by pre-empting us and shopping for yourself. Save that for after the holidays. Even if it is the incredibly cute limited edition Final Fantasy III figures direct from Square... whoops, too late, I ordered them. Bad me.
And for the person wanting to buy for a gamer, read on for tips on how to get around this problem (since the gamer will not be able to keep the vow, anyway.)
Problem: Only those in the hobby know its nuances
If you don't share the hobby, you won't be able to distinguish between products. As a gift-buyer operating blind, you're doomed. Anything you buy will be either too simplistic for their level, or sufficiently specialized but not in a genre or type that they need.
Just because they like games doesn't mean they want Monopoly. Liking RPGs does not mean buying a D&D book. Enjoying horror doesn't mean they want a Steven King book. Fantasy doesn't mean buy them Dragonology. Just accept that you're out of your depth-- and likely past the options at the local Barnes & Noble or Books-A-Million.
This isn't just a gamer thing. A knitter who wants #5 circular needles will not love the #8 double-pointed, even if they're made of hand-blown glass. A guitar player who uses Ernie Ball strings on her Strat won't be happy with D'addario phosphor acoustics.
Related to nuance is the idea of analogies. "If they liked 'Blade Runner'", goes the thinking, "they'll love 'Minority Report'". Same source writer, both good directors, it's a sure sell, right? Analogies fail when you aren't part of the subculture. You could try and learn their hobby, but that's too much to ask for.
Solution: Espionage
So, take the faster route of learning about them. It's really like any gift giving. The better you know the recipient, the more appropriate the gift. The biggest hurdle is to get past the fact that you are out of your depth in their chosen hobby. Well, you are. There, hurdle passed!
US foreign policy says that we don't send in spies ourselves, but recruit locals to provide intelligence to us. You shoppers can avail yourself of the same technique.
Your sources: friends, shopkeeps, and web microcommunities. If you're fortunate enough to know any of the gamer's friends, it's easy-- ask them what the target would like that they yet don't have. Then buy it. Done!
If you know of a game store or comic shop that the gamer frequents, ask the clerks. For example, a visit to "Closet of Comics" (now Big Planet Comics, actually) in College Park, MD would be a very fruitful source for gifts for me... but not necessarily useful for a comic fan in Detroit.
So beware! Do not ask clerks at other shops--if it's not a shop your gamer-target patronizes, the clerks will not be able to help! They can only give generic advice and you're back at the original problems--either the gamer has it, or they don't want it.
The advantage of 'store espionage' is that you can find out the neat stuff that just came out. And with the shopkeeps on your side, your target gamer won't even know about it. If it's a good shop, the clerks will make sure not to spoil the fact you bought it, and even hide the product or dissuade the gamer should they try to buy it for themself.
How can they do such amazing service (you might ask)? This is the advantage of the Friendly Local Game (or comic) Store. They are small, have consistent staff, and can give personal attention. The reason a gamer shops there--rather than getting 30% off at some online joint--is they get turned on to products they didn't know about. All you're doing is intercepting and rerouting that information stream.
(Plus, as a fallback, the gamer can return the item after the holiday, even sans receipt, if the present just doesn't work out.)
Avoid the big box stores. Avoid stores other than where they shop. You're out of your depth. If you can't get inside knowledge via espionage, don't try to match their hobby.
Finally, spy on your gamer target. Do a google search on them. See if they have a bio on their homepage, a profile on an industry site, a blog or livejournal or myspace page or any web presence. Aren't you a little curious about them, after all? This is your excuse to do some online poking, in the name of gift-giving.
If they mention a particular interest, you're closer to getting a match. Armed with personal knowledge, you can more safely use the 'gift giving guides' other sites and columnists write. Sure, before you didn't know the difference between a Euro game and a US board game, but after reading their bio, you know! So you can look up boardgamegeek or such and find out what might be a better hit.
You could also see if they have a wishlist on Amazon or other websites. A little web hunting can go a long way, plus you can get useful conversational material with just a little hunting for their name.
And for the record, despite what google says, I am not a Certified Shiatsu Practitioner.
Problem: Gift Certs Just Offload the Problem
Gift certificates are often considered as an option. Be very, very careful with this, though. First, avoid the classic mistake-- don't choose a cert at a shop you use, try and find a shop they use. Because it sucks to get a present that requires a 40 mile drive to shop no one would use even if it was nearby.
Everyone has their own favorite places to shop, both online and off. Fans of Amazon often avoid Barnes & Noble, fans of Half.com avoid both. It's just like buying clothing-- you don't buy a Lane Bryant cert for a DressBarn shopper. Buy a cert for their shop, not your guess at a genre shop.
Solution
So, again, forget that 'local mall shop' that you've never been in and that your intended recipient probably has never heard of. If you don't know that they shop there, don't cert there.
And if you do know they shop there, go back to our 'Espionage' step and see if you can get inside info, thus skipping the cert step.
If you ignore this and do decide to get them a cert, just think, "you're buying them socks". Socks are a useful item and a perfectly fine gift. Giving a cert is like giving them socks. It says you care, but had no idea what to get. If that's your message, go for it. But remember... it's socks.
(For people that don't like socks, imagine 'spatula' instead.)
Problem: All this sounds like work!
Yes, it is. But there is an easier way.
Don't buy into their hobby. Seriously. It's really sweet to want to support their interests, but outside of following their direct wishes or engaging in the work above, you're not likely to succeed with a random yet well-intentioned gift.
If your gift is a guess "because they like this kind of stuff", you're already in trouble. You don't like it, and you don't know if they do. That's a strike against it before it's even given.
Solution
Instead, try to find crossovers with stuff you like, too. You shouldn't try to guess at what they like. Find something you like, that they might share the interest.
Just as you'd recommend bands or a TV show to workers, think of things you like, that they might. Are they a comic book fan who doesn't have cable? Try "Heroes, Season I"-- but only if you thought it rocked, too. Are you a closet Tim Powers fan and afraid your uber-scifi geek nephew will mock you? Risk it.
The best gifts are those that illuminate the giver and create a conversation. Those gifts provide a story. Sometimes the story is a mystery, sometimes it's an affirmation. But it's real and about the two people involved.
And gamers love a good story.
Until next month,
Sandy (sandy@rpg.net)
