Many of the worst roleplaying experiences comes down to one factor: a member of the group is making life miserable for everyone else. For the purposes of this column, let’s just assume that the person making life so hard is a player, and not the GM. (If the problem is you, well, that’s a bigger question we can tackle at a later date.) Let’s also assume you want to keep the player in your group.
I have been subject to disruptive play like every other gamer, though usually on the other side of the table. My biggest problems have always been with fellow players--when I do not have the assumed authority of being the GM to deal with a problem. I hate having to sit idly by as I wait for a GM to step and take on the leadership role the group expects. It sucks to have to watch a player or two drag an otherwise fun game into the gutter as a GM either does nothing or doesn’t engage in any meaningful manner. I think it is important to learn what makes you happy and annoyed as a player and using that knowledge while you GM. In the case of disruptive players, a GM that doesn’t do anything drives me up the wall as much as the disruption itself.
One hundred percent of the time disruptive characters are selfish. Plain and simple. They want attention and they are willing to screw with the flow of the game to get their way. In fact, some of the best advice I have ever seen for addressing a problem player I read randomly in parenting articles. For all the same reasons children act up a problem gamer does the same. The same approaches to dealing with unruly or sulky children can be excellent for disruptive gamers.
My advice? Be direct. Avoid being an ass.
The first step to dealing with a problem player is talking with your other players without the disruptive one present. Sit down with them as a group or one on one, it really doesn’t matter. Your goal is to get a feel for the other players’ opinions on the disruptive player. While your instincts as a GM are usually spot-on, talking with your players will either reinforce your beliefs or possibly shed positive light on the player’s actions. Sometimes, there is personal stuff going on and there is a reason for their disruptive behavior. While I don’t think “personal issues” serve as a blanket excuse for crappy game etiquette, it can go a long way to helping you plot out how you are going to deal with the problem. Maybe the other players don’t see the behavior as disruptive and are willing to tolerate the problem. If so, you need to be very delicate in how you deal with the issue (and probably address the group as a whole rather than talking with the disruptive player individually). Whatever the cause, take stock of what your players think and feel about the disruptive player and see if their experiences mirror your own. Once you have a general consensus that something must be done, the next step is confronting the problem player.
Step two is the one step many GMs have a hard time with: actually sitting down with the disruptive player and talking through your issues. I don’t know what it is about our hobby, but lots of us are really uncomfortable with confrontation. We either avoid it altogether and let others walk all over us, or we take it too far and make every event a fight. As a GM, I strongly suggest trying to find a middle ground when dealing with a disruptive player. Be firm, but avoid talking down to them or being an ass; in either case you will make the disruptive player defensive. Your goal needs to be to explain the situation and gently encourage them to change their behavior. Usually, a little advice and a couple suggestions to the disruptive player goes a long way- try to be conscious that you are not acting like a scolding mother.
I suggest talking with the disruptive player in private. No one likes bystanders when they are on the defensive or getting a lecture, and having the other players there can often make things more uncomfortable for everyone (or escalate emotions and tensions). Invite the disruptive player to dinner, go grab a bite, and over Taco Bell broach the subject of their play. There is an art in bringing up touchy subjects, and it is beyond the ability of this column to explain all the variables. One piece of advice I can give on bringing up crappy behavior is to start by talking about the game in general. Discuss the last session and where the game may be going, and then segue in to the topic of the player’s playing style and behavior.
Be honest about your thoughts on their play. At this point the disruptive player has one of three decisions to make. 1) Agree with your analysis and try to correct the behavior. 2) Disagree with your analysis, but still try to change for the good of the game. 3) Disagree and do nothing. The third option inevitably leads to the player dropping from the game, even if that means killing off the game entirely. The first and second options are what you are shooting for. While we all work towards and hope for the first option, the second can work just as well since the results are the same.
Take the time to listen to your problem player. Let them talk about why they are doing what they are doing, and make some informed suggestions as to what they can do to be less disruptive. Don’t be afraid to compromise. Let the player know you will work at the situation as well. If the disruptive player knows you want them in the group and war willing to help solve the problem, the player is going to be a lot more enthusiastic about making the effort to change.
Give the player a couple sessions to shape up. Rome wasn’t built in a day and your disruptive player will take some time and practice to get things right. Give them some sessions to change their playing style, and if things are working out, let them know. A follow-up meeting in private is a great way to let them know they have improved and things are batter, but even a quick pull-aside after a game should be enough. See if they are still happy with the game. Likewise, check on your other players and make sure they are pleased with the change.
If it doesn’t work out, then you have a hard decision to make. Usually, the best solution is to ask the player not to return to the game. Personal politics being what they are, this is not a solution to all problem players that won't change, but it always needs to remain on the table. If losing the player will allow three or four others to enjoy gaming night that much more, then do it. A good GM is a good leader and doesn’t avoid the hard decisions.
In Summary:
- Step one: talk to the other players
- Step two: talk to the problem player one-on-one.
- Accept your role as a leader in the group and make the hard decisions.
