Duets
"Okay, well, I guess I need to go to Karlister District tonight," said Vicky.
"Yes, but what are doing during the day, you know there is a movement in the Baronial Conclave to strip you of your title due to the Archduke's machinations."
"Right, well, you know I'm a little tired tonight. Why don't we skip gaming and just watch a movie."
"What? You wanted to game tonight! I spend the afternoon preparing the adventure."
"Yes, but it's a lot more than I want to deal with tonight.î
"It's a great adventure though; I mean there are some real surprises tonight. You might even discover the mastermind of the Infinite Circle!"
"I don't care. The campaign is just too complicated and I can't keep track of everything. You just keep making it more complicated."
"That's how intrigue campaigns work," said Thad defensively.
"Then maybe we need to end the campaign, because I'm dealing with enough intrigue at work," snapped Vicky.
"Fine! We can just scrap the campaign and all my work!"
"Well maybe we just need to take a break from gaming for a little while so you can work on something else."
Communication is one of those issues I seem to drone on and on about, but there is a good reason for that -- it's important. A fundamental truth is that roleplayers are horrible when it comes to communicating with one another. Players rarely are honest with their GMs, because they don't want to hurt their GM's feelings or they are afraid of retaliation depending upon their opinion of their GM. The sad thing is that many groups fall apart simply because someone didn't just say what they were feeling.
With duets the stakes are higher as there are only two people involved and if there isn't good communication then the odds of campaign failure are pretty much guaranteed. The most successful duets I have run were founded on good communication with openness by both GM and player to discuss problems. Unsuccessful duets are almost universally marked by a lack of good communication. The fascinating thing is that I have run both successful and unsuccessful campaigns with the same players. It's not just the individuals, but the techniques you use for communication. This article is all about communication and some of the things I have learned that work as well as some warnings about the things that don't work.
Expectations
All of us have assumptions, biases, and expectations that distort our vision of the world. That's human nature. The worst of these in a roleplaying context are expectations so let's look at the key expectations of the GM and player.The GM GMs have a lot of baggage. They have often made a lot of decisions before anyone even comes to the table. They have usually picked the setting, system, and the adventure. However, the most potentially disruptive thing that GMs can bring to the table is expectations. Expectations form limits and tracks in a campaign when the GM embraces them. I will repeat one of my mantras: GMs need to worry about problems, not solutions, which are the responsibility of the players. If a GM expects an outcome then more often than not that outcome will be reached regardless of the actions or desires of the PC. This fundamental truth is the heart of almost all player discontent with the GM. In the mind of every GM there is this image of a perfect adventure from how it unfolds to how the players behave. Many GMs will force this image on their players and in the process will undermine the trust and initiative of the players.
The Player GMs aren't the only ones with baggage. The moment a player starts drawing up a character the player begins thinking about this character's future in the game. This is good, but it does create expectations. Players have a tendency to imagine the story of their PC and mechanically minded players often get hung up on specific maneuvers or tactics for their PCs. When player expectations conflict with GM expectations that's when you have problems.
The solution to expectations is for both GM and player to reduce their expectations while communicating what they want from the campaign to one another. This can be amazingly hard to do, so let's go to proper communication.
Proper Communication
The worst form of communication is silence. It is far better for a player or GM to get frustrated and raise their voices then for them to be silent about their unhappiness with a campaign. Don't get me wrong: the angry blowup is not ideal, but at least feelings are being expressed. A GM can't make changes in a campaign without knowing what is and isn't working. A player can't trust a GM unless they know why a GM does certain things. Angry blowups happen all the time in gaming groups and despite what you might think, most of them don't end groups or campaigns. It all depends upon how these flare-ups are handled, but let's be blunt - this is not the ideal form of communication. In fact, it's a pretty bad system. What follows are some tips and ideas that can create a more harmonious and useful communication between GM and player.1. Active Listening
Yes, let's begin with the obvious -- listen. A GM should be able to tell if his player is enjoying herself by merely listening and watching. This is a mark of a good GM in both duet and group campaigns -- the ability to read one's players.
For example, the posture and engagement of the player can provide a wealth of information. Is the player maintaining eye contact? Is the player actively engaging with NPCs? Is the player asking questions? Is the player taking notes? If the answer to any of these questions is yes then the player is engaged. Now if the player is organizing her dice, flipping through the rulebook, and not engaged then she is bored. Yes, this is all obvious stuff -- to those who are looking. Many GMs get so wrapped up in what they are doing they don't bother to take a few seconds to gauge the player. The obvious is only obvious if you're pay attention.
2. In-Character Communication
I am a huge advocate for communicating in-character. If the GM is listening then when a PC tells a NPC that he is feeling overwhelmed by his situation and wishes he could go back to the simpler times earlier in the campaign -- that is a message to a GM. A GM can also use NPCs to elicit opinions from the PC about the campaign and how things are working out. You can't discuss those elements outside of the in-character world (like mechanics for example), but in terms of story, characters, and setting in-character communication is excellent.
NPCs are such a valuable tool for duets. NPC allies to the PC are even more valuable, because they allow the GM to adjust the campaign within the context of the campaign. Take the intro to the article: if Vicky had confided in a trusted NPC about her sense of being overwhelmed, the NPC could have given her advice such as who to delegate responsibilities to. The NPC could also have reassured the PC (and therefore the player) that she was doing very well in a difficult situation. Players become very invested in duets and the fear of failure can be very strong as they are the entire campaign. This can create pressure on the player, but positive feedback from a NPC or the GM directly can really help.
I know for some readers it may seem like I am advocating a lot of hand-holding for players by the GM, but the nature of duets can be intense. If you are a decent GM you can make the player care by the real connections between the PC and NPCs. When a decision has real consequences for realistic NPCs then any good player is going to feel some pressure in that situation. This does not play out as much with group campaigns, which are designed to isolate the PCs from the rest of the world.
I will also say that GMs need reassuring as much as players, which can also be accomplished in-character when PCs really interact with NPCs and truly get into the campaign. There is no better reward for a GM than when a player is really involved during an adventure. However, it also doesn't hurt to tell the GM every now and then if you are enjoying a campaign.
3. Just Talk
If you think a player is bored or unhappy then ask them about it. If the GM approaches the player in a sincere and open way about the campaign, they may very well get a sincere or open response. A warning though: don't ask if you don't really want to know. If you ask a player about how you do things and they say they don't like it then you can't get angry or frustrated as you asked the question. Listen, all roleplayers are sensitive, all of them, we put a lot in our campaigns and characters and that makes criticism hard to take. However, criticism is helpful and it can make you do things better or more effectively.
Another useful technique is to talk about the campaign out-of-character to allow the player to bounce ideas off the GM. With duets there is often a lot going on and the player may want to hammer out some things with the GM before the next session. This is good. Players don't know the setting as well as their PC and so these sorts of discussions will allow the GM to advise the player about things that the PC probably knows or would figure out. These discussions are also very useful for the GM to be able to plan accordingly as it gives a heads up on what the PC may be up to in coming sessions.
4. Be Honest Both Ways
Just be honest when communicating, but do be fair to the other person. Mix the good with the bad. If you just had a great session with a GM then tell the GM you had a great session and maybe mention some of the good stuff. A big mistake is to only discuss the negatives, but the positives are important. All GMs and players like positive feedback, many desperately crave it, and when they do something right, praise them. The best thing is that this ensures you'll get more of the same good stuff down the road.
5. Make Changes
One final point on communication -- talking without doing accomplishes nothing. If there is a problem do something to change it. Now this may be difficult and gentle reminders might be warranted by the other party. This though is the goal of communication to adjust things.
When Things Go Wrong
The first thing to know is that it happens. It usually isn't just the game, often it's other factors, from school to work to kids. My wife is fond of a great quote about this by Philo of Alexandria: ìBe kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.îAs a player or GM you need to remember that and it makes things a lot easier when communications breakdown. However, every blow up at the game table does stem from a real problem, maybe it's a perceptual problem, but a problem nonetheless. It's also not the problem that is causing the communication breakdown -- that's never the problem. The issue is that people are taking the situation personal. It's back to expectations.
The solution is simple: someone needs to step back and look at the situation with perspective. These are simple words for something that is very difficult to do in the heat of the moment. Often the best solution is time, but unless the issue is discussed and dealt with it can end campaigns.
So going back to the intro, Thad and Vicky have had a communication breakdown because they are approaching the campaign differently. Thad is making it more and more complex whereas Vicky wants things more manageable. There are many ways to fix the campaign, but the communication breakdown jeopardizes the entire campaign. Someone has to bend and in this case it has to be Thad. Usually it is the GM who has to bend as the GM is the one calling most of the shots, but the first thing is to communicate. One side has to begin by acknowledging the other side's concerns and listening, which if done properly will be reciprocated. At least one side has to be the grown up, which means being calm and fair. I think it should also be said that no campaign is worth a friendship and that has to be remembered. Additionally, sometimes campaigns end and it's not a bad thing. However, this should be a mutual decision and not because one side stormed off angrily.
Well that is probably more than enough on communication, in fact, that is probably more than anyone wanted to read on this oft-discussed topic!
