Behind the Counter
Thinking back, when I began writing this column 5+ years ago the “behind the retail counter” column seemed like a good title, and I hoped it would convey to my (few) readers how funny, silly and painfully obvious it could be that a retail shop owner really had no idea what they were in store for when they made the decision to open a retail shop. And, last week, that was never more true for me.
As of last March, I had been a retail store owner for 23 years. And, in that time, I guess I felt like I had seen it all. I had owned a game store in Anchorage, Alaska – two quick lubes in Michigan, a couple game stores, a paintball supply store, an advertising agency, a couple other businesses. But, mostly, I was a retailer at heart. A vendor: A peddler. I buy and sell stuff. Originally, games. Now, entertainment merchandise.
But, nothing I had ever done, experienced, read or been trained on prepared me for the eventual threat of arrest by a fire marshal. Yes, that’s right - The Fire Marshal of Kalamazoo threatened not to HAVE me arrested, but to arrest me himself. For violation of local ordnance (sorry, he rattled it off faster than I could write) which, went into effect in 1994, requiring a “Knox Box”™ be placed on the outside of the business building, which would hold a key to my business’ front door.
Now, in case you don’t know that is a HORRIBLE idea – it is. Secondly, I suspect it is not completely true – or at least my understanding of how it was presented to me couldn’t be accurate. Said ordnance which I have asked to see and not been shown – allegedly went into effect in 1994 – yet even my next door neighbor who has been open 9 years does not have a “Knox Box”™ on their building. Nor does the convenience store next to them, the pizza place next to them, or the FedEx-OFFICE place next to them.
Let's go back to the horrible idea for a second. Essentially, I have my life’s savings invested in my businesses. Now, city wants me to provide them with a key they will put in a little locked box (like realtors use on EMPTY buildings) – said box I must purchase ($249.99) – only available from one vendor – and this box will be put on the outside of my building. WHERE ANY YAHOO WITH A HAMMER COULD BREAK IT OPEN!
In an attempt to understand this insane ordnance I asked the fireman several questions – which seemed to just anger him. I asked why this law existed – he said it was in case of fire, they could unlock the door. I said that if my building was on fire, to use an axe to break the glass – it would be faster. He then said that in case of medical emergency they could get in without breaking the glass – my reply was to let him know that we never, ever, have people in the store with the door locked. Then I asked him if the local residences, houses and apartments, needed such a box for access – since the likelihood of the fire rescue being called to a locked residence for medical emergency was, oh, about a thousand times more common – no, he replied, don’t be silly!
Now, maybe I would feel differently if I had not had my businesses broken into more than 20 times over the years (Including once this MONTH at this LOCATION) – but having a KEY for easy access on the OUTSIDE of my building does not sound, uh, what’s the word? Oh: SMART! IT DOES NOT SOUND SMART.
When I said to the Fire Marshal that I was afraid some yahoo with a hammer would break the box open, and use the key to gain access, he said that my alarm would still go off. Two things: What if I didn’t have an alarm (I do), and “Have you ever heard of a power outage?”
Then, the fire inspector said that if the fire department broke the glass they had to post someone to guard the door until an owner or employee could show up and secure the building. Oh, that’s what it is all about! The firemen don’t want to be inconvenienced! So, I mentioned that my three employees that my small business employ’s, all live within ONE BLOCK of my shop – having someone here would not be a problem.
Then, I asked the question that got me threatened with arrest, fine and incarceration: I asked the fire-inspector, and I quote: “How would I go about getting a variance to this ordnance?” Which, just set him off. He demanded my ID, and I got the impression he was hoping I would refuse to show it so he could arrest me then.
Realize – this is an ordnance which has been so vigorously enforced that my neighbor has not had a “Knox Box”™ installed on their building in the SEVEN YEARS they have been operating! In fact, this morning I went to five area businesses which I know have been open for years – and looked at them. NOT ONE has a “Knox Box”™ on their building.
But, golly, horrible and dangerous person I am, I get threatened with arrest and jail time if I don’t get my “Knox Box”™ put up within 90 days (Note: My neighbor, who has been here 7 years was given ONE FULL YEAR to comply). Yet, because I had the audacity to ask a question of a public official, attempting to get information from a public official – WHAT WAS I THINKING – I get told by the Fire Marshal that he is going to see the city prosecutor and ask for a warrant for my arrest.
Now – I don’t write the dictionary, or even the thesaurus – nor do I play someone on TV who does those things. But, the uneven, and arbitrary application of the law by officials of government – they have a word for that, don’t they?
And, what you may ask (what, Marcus: WHAT???) does this have to do with the behind the counter type theme of your column? Well, actually – everything. I was certainly unqualified to open a retail store when I first did so – most of us hobby shop, game shop and collectible shop owners are woefully unprepared, underfunded and underinformed at to our actual endeavor, upon our embarking upon it. In fact, if we had – were somehow given – advanced warning of the troubles and trials (hopefully not literally) that lay ahead for us – most of us would have disregarded those warnings, and plowed ahead anyway.
It’s the dream, you see, which feeds our desire, our hearts, our ambitions. Nearly every game store owner was a gamer at one point. They dreamed, as I did, of a game and hobby oasis. Gamers have one common thread – having played by a thousand sets of rules, they enjoy the games the most which are the most fair. For example, how often would you want to play RISK if the RED player started the game with twice as many pieces as any other player? The rules, you see, in games at least – must be fair.
Life rarely is.
In a state with the worst unemployment in the nation, I employ 7 people. That’s not one percent of one percent of the state, mind you – it is tiny, it is insignificant. Or, at least, insignificant to everyone except the families who rely on those jobs for their income, or the students who pay their tuition with their wages. I don’t get rich doing this – in fact, I could probably get a pay bump and better benefits by working at WalMart (Hey, Walmart – not kicking sand your way!). Just illustrating – owning a retail store has a lot of issues, hurdles and problems. I work 6 days a week most weeks. I work any hour anyone of my 7 employees calls in sick. My birthday – I work. Memorial Day, Labor Day, often the 4th of July, sometimes Father's Day. The only day I take off every year is Veterans Day. Yup, I have worked on Christmas, Christmas Eve, New Years Day, Thanksgiving day. This was my choice, I am not complaining – just explaining that:
- It is hard.
- I ain’t rich.
- I shouldn’t have to be threatened with arrest to get a straight answer out of a public official.
If you think I’m pissed off – you’ve come away with the wrong impression, and I apologize. I am mystified and a little let down that The Fire Marshal of Kalamazoo has to threaten to arrest me rather than answer questions and conduct a dialogue with me. I am also amazed to find myself threatened with arrest for not complying with a statute in timely enough of a manner – when other store and business owners have had more than 10 years to comply, and have not.
I am also disappointed in a city which values its business and shop owners so very little that they oppress them with inspections, mandates and regulation. It is a game store. I sell games. Not drugs, not alcohol or cigarettes. Comic books, games, movies (and NO PORN, which I have been asked about by every inspector to come here).
Yet, I plan to continue to own and run a game and entertainment store for the rest of my life. Whether that will be in Kalamazoo – is not entirely up to me. I imagine that an employer who would provide 7 jobs to a local economy might be more welcome elsewhere. Marcus King
owner
Titan Games & Music
1504 West Michigan - Kalamazoo, MI 49006
637 Capital Ave SW - Battle Creek, MI 49015
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