Another Christmas is in the books, and we are finally not buried in big piles of items to ship, or long lines of customers at the counter. Dangit, I miss Christmas already!

And, as much as I love the holidays, the increased business, and all the accompanying fun, frustration, and profits - there is one thing I hope I never have to endure again: The customer known simply as "Scrooge McLateshopper".

Mister McLateshopper, or Scrooge to his pals, is the guy who shops via email every year, usually on the 22nd or 23rd, and wants his presents in his hands within 48 hours.

Scrooge doesn't realize that the employees of Titan Games also take time off for the holidays. Or that the post office is "busy" this particular time of year. Not that we don't take our customers orders seriously - we do. Everyone who paid by noon on the 22nd, was shipped by noon on the 23rd. But, we take the 23rd through the 26th off. So, Scrooge - who ordered on the evening of the 23rd, with the ominous comment "I had better have this item by the 24th, and not one minute later" was just, plain, out of luck.

Now, I realize that Christmas is very hard to plan for. I mean, if they would have it on the same day every year, that'd be much better for everyone. What? Oh, uh - they do have it on the same day every year? Always on the 25th of December? Well, crap. I dunno.

I can sympathize, I really do. This year my shopping list jumped from 6 people to 23 in the matter of a few days, and I was wau behind on shopping. My solution, however, did not include waiting till 3 or 4 days before Christmas and ordering the items online, from 2500 miles away.

Luckily, this type of customer (McLateshopper) is not the norm - and frankly, becoming more scarce this year. I only had 3 customers upset they didn't have their items by christmas (and one was our Fault!). (Hey, we do screw up, just like anybody).

Luckily, more and more people this year actually send kind little notes with their payments - saying "This is not a Christmas present, so ship it when you get a chance, no problem" or my favorite "Have a Merry Christmas, and ship this any time you get a chance - it is a Valentines Day Present, so have it to me in early February, and we're good!".

The things I am running into, as a game store owner, that slows me down - is product unavailability. We ran out of Settlers of Catan (and it was out throughout the chain of distribution for several days). This is a real bummer as it is our best seller year after year. (And, if you haven't played it yet, buy one locally, or order one through me - it's a fabulous game).

Another problem is when a game is no longer made. Category 5, a card game by Pando Games is now out of print, and no longer available. That sucks! We have like 2 or 3 left, and are looking for more - but were sold out for several weeks while trying to locate a restock option.

Another problem I run into is the customer who doesn't know the name of the game they wanted. Now, honestly, I used to shop for records (yes, I am old) at a record shop where "Mike the Music Master" worked. Mike was called the Music Master because he had an uncanny ability to name any song you could hum, whistle, sing, tralala, or dumdedum along close enough.

Mike once identified a song by artist, title, date, album, and studio when I came in and said "Dude, there is this cool song that has the lyrics "There must be some kinda way outa here" in it. (Which is of course by Jimi Hendrix, All Along The Watch Tower.)

Today, of course you can google some lyrics, and find a song. So, Mike the Music Master is a bit obsolete. But, I cannot identify games that way, and so I am expected to be the gamemaster with the following clues, and this is an actual conversation:

Me: Good afternoon, can I help you?

Customer: Yeah, uh - there is this game. I want to buy it for my Nephew.

Me: Great Ma'am, what is the name of it?

Customer: Of what?

Me: Uh. The game?

Customer: I have no idea.

Me (thinking that may be a Parker Brothers title): Is that the name, or do you not know the title.

Customer: I have no idea.

Me: Right. Uh, is (making motions in the air with both hands, two fingers each) I Have No Idea the name of the game, or do you not know the name?

Customer: Don't be a smart ass.

Me: Look, I want to help you. I sell games. You want a game. I want to sell a game to you. What is the name of the game you want.

Customer: Oh, sorry. I don't know.

Me (a bit relieved): What is it about.

Customer: I'm not sure. It has a board, and dice, and little pieces.

Me: What is the object of the game?

Customer: To win! (Looking at me like I must be a dumbass for not knowing what the object of the game is!!)

Me: Okay, an unknown game, with an unknown title, and not sure what it is about.

Customer: And, it comes in a colorful box.

Me (hopeful!): What color?

Customer: Several.

Me: Blokus.

Customer: What?

Me (picking up a Blokus): the game you want it Blokus. See, lots of colors, lots of pieces and a board, in a box.

Customer: Okay.

Me:(absolutely flabbergasted!): Really?

Customer: Sure, but if they don't like it I can return it, right?

Me: I have no idea. (Okay, I made that part up, I answered yes).

This was one of like 20 customers in December who wanted a game, and didn't know the title, publisher, or exactly what the game was about or like. Or what size the box is. Now, as most of you know - I am a miracle worker, but my powers are limited.

Okay, now a bit of highlights. My thanks go out to:

Dennis, an out of state call in customer who buys weekly, who sent a really nice present to my online seller, Laurel.

Mark, a customer who comes in often, and brought hand made and home baked cookies and home made candy for everyone. Sweet!

Eric who made dinner one night for the entire staff, and brought it in to us. BBQ porkchops, yummy!

Sgt Moya, who sent is a Christmas card - from his unit in Iraq.

Colleen, who came on board as my new assistant (and girlfriend) and likes to play Settlers, help customers, and watch Deadwood on HBO.

Tonya King, who put up with me for 4 months living in her house.

Katie King, who helped Colleen move to Battle Creek from Columbus, Ohio.

Max, my son, who at 11 is the smartest person I have ever known.

Jerry, Max's other dad, who evidently learned to share well as a child.

Laurel, my ex wife and online sales manager, for doing a better job than anyone else in 2006.

Joe, who is the eBay lister for Titan-Games, for listing lots of stuff.

Valerie, my store manager for having a record breaking year.

Ashley, our postal girl - who puts in hours whenever we need her, and does flawless work. Of everything we shipped in 2006, one package had the wrong address on it. WOW!

The US Postal service, who does a great job, with little thanks. My UPS driver who always cuts me a break when I need it. JRR Tolken for not writing a 4th chapter to the Ring trilogy, cause I am tired of Hobbity movies.

And, lastly - and most importantly - to all my customers who are not McLateshoppers. You paid for my rent, food, my daughter's college, and more. Without you guys, and gals, I would be - likely making more money - working a job I hated.

'Cause, while I may not make all that much money - I do, indeed, have the coolest job on earth.

Oh, except the Commissioner of Baseball, if that job is open, I am available!

Marcus King
Titan Games - Owner
637 Capital Ave SW
Battle Creek, MI 49015

a good printable form for mailing in your stuff can be found here:
http://www.titangamesandmusic.com/Titan15.nsf/buylist.html

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